Ask the Transperson - Page 6

Pamela · 02-09-2014, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

What questions do you think we should have/be asking, Pamela? What would you like us to ask? What do you feel we should know but don't feel comfortable telling us until we ask?

Good question there. I have no idea. I don't want to just prattle on, basically blogging here in a forum about whatever enters my head. There are appropriate places for that.

But I imagine that if I could get inside the head of, say, a serial killer, I would really wonder what makes it tick.

I can say that I get a lot of questions in my support group regarding tips/tricks and "how do you really know..." stuff. But those are usually from beginners in our world.

Let me try this; I will relate a short story.

One of the most important days in my life. Let me take you back in time, way back to the day of Rick Levy's BBQ when he lived in Springfield. I forget the date but it had to be early 90s or late 80s.

That was the day I met MaggieL and her then partner. Suddenly, I realized that I was not alone, that I was not a freak, that there was a name for the feelings I had and that there was a way to make it all right. I wish that I had talked to her more that day but... We still talk once a year or so.

A lot more had to happen before I was willing to admit that we had the same condition. But that was the game-changer. But for that chance meeting, I would probably have gone to an early grave never knowing who I really was or that it didn't have to be that way.

This is why I run the support room. And why I go out of my way to talk to others like me. Because you never know when someone else might be having that same epiphany.

I'm not leading you in any way. Nor do I have secret talking points or a particular story to tell. I am simply surprised that no one has anything more than superficial questions. Maybe I'm just overly inquisitive, but I would want to know as much as I could find out!

Pamela · 02-09-2014, 05:24 PM

Monnie, I'm not. I am only speaking for myself. YMMV.

monster · 02-09-2014, 05:31 PM

I won't call you Brian if you don't call me Monnie

monster · 02-09-2014, 05:40 PM

I think maybe you would get more questions in a real room full of random people. we're kind of self -selecting here in that we are curious people and generally pretty schmart/ejumacated and if we had questions to ask, we've probably already asked them of you or Erica or whoever prompted the question to pop up. And we're also pretty accepting in the main (back to the self-selection thing).

As for the "woman thing" I think it probably just annoys me in they way reformed smoker/drug addicts/born-agains can irritate those who always walked that path. All the equality things we fight for (sometimes) ....like being accepted as a human being whether we choose to wear pants or shave our pits or not ...oh bleugh...

monster · 02-09-2014, 05:49 PM

Bleugh my post vanished.

I think you may get more questions in a room of random people. We are pretty self-selecting and are generally a schmart and ejumacated group. if we had questions, we've already asked them of you or Erica or whoever prompted the question to pop up.

As for the womanly thing, I think it annoys me in the same way reformed druggies and born-agains annoy those who've always walked the path. And embracing differences that shouldn't be -like why can't a woman choose not to shave her pits? It's like a step backwards for some. Bah.

monster · 02-09-2014, 05:50 PM

and then it returned! I give up and leave both. what in the hell do I know anyway

xoxoxoBruce · 02-09-2014, 08:53 PM

Just because you stutter doesn't mean you're wrong.

Dagney · 02-10-2014, 11:31 AM

Pamela,

Glad you found the happiness you had long been searching for in your life. I know that you weren't completely 'happy' when we were together - and I'm thinking this may be part of the reason why.

While I never wish anyone pain or heartache, I can say truly that I identify with what your wife is feeling - while physical relations is not 'everything' to a relationship - it is a big part of keeping one strong. So, I ask that you cut her a wee bit of slack on that feeling. (Although how she handled it, not exactly the best and grown up way to do so).

May your future bring you what you want and what you deserve - happiness - just like everyone else.

Warmly -

Kellie

Sundae · 02-10-2014, 12:25 PM

Dags! Long time no see!
Good to have you back x

DanaC · 02-10-2014, 01:09 PM

Fuck me sideways! It's Dag!

Lovely to see you

Dagney · 02-10-2014, 03:19 PM

Yep - it's me - I hide a lot - but I'm around

limey · 02-10-2014, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae

Dags! Long time no see!
Good to have you back x

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Fuck me sideways! It's Dag!

Lovely to see you

That's just what I thought earlier!

Pamela · 02-10-2014, 06:30 PM

Hello Dagney. How nice to see you again. We've missed you around here.

Love

Pam

Dagney · 02-10-2014, 10:23 PM

Thanks everyone - won't hijack Pamela's thread - but will update folks later

Ya'll behave!

xoxoxoBruce · 02-11-2014, 09:25 AM

The Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini approved.

Quote:

Gender change operations are legal in Iran according to a fatwa - or religious ruling - pronounced by the late Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, spiritual leader of the 1979 Islamic revolution. The law contrasts with the strict rules governing sexual morality under the country's Sharia legal code, which forbids homosexuality and pre-marital sex.

02-09-2014, 05:31 PM	#78
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I won't call you Brian if you don't call me Monnie __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2014, 05:40 PM	#79
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I think maybe you would get more questions in a real room full of random people. we're kind of self -selecting here in that we are curious people and generally pretty schmart/ejumacated and if we had questions to ask, we've probably already asked them of you or Erica or whoever prompted the question to pop up. And we're also pretty accepting in the main (back to the self-selection thing). As for the "woman thing" I think it probably just annoys me in they way reformed smoker/drug addicts/born-agains can irritate those who always walked that path. All the equality things we fight for (sometimes) ....like being accepted as a human being whether we choose to wear pants or shave our pits or not ...oh bleugh... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2014, 05:49 PM	#80
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Bleugh my post vanished. I think you may get more questions in a room of random people. We are pretty self-selecting and are generally a schmart and ejumacated group. if we had questions, we've already asked them of you or Erica or whoever prompted the question to pop up. As for the womanly thing, I think it annoys me in the same way reformed druggies and born-agains annoy those who've always walked the path. And embracing differences that shouldn't be -like why can't a woman choose not to shave her pits? It's like a step backwards for some. Bah. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2014, 05:50 PM	#81
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	and then it returned! I give up and leave both. what in the hell do I know anyway __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2014, 08:53 PM	#82
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Just because you stutter doesn't mean you're wrong. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-09-2014, 05:24 PM	#77
Pamela Deplorable Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 767	Monnie, I'm not. I am only speaking for myself. YMMV.

02-10-2014, 11:31 AM	#83
Dagney The Prodigal Brat Returneth Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: North Cackalacky Posts: 1,107	Pamela, Glad you found the happiness you had long been searching for in your life. I know that you weren't completely 'happy' when we were together - and I'm thinking this may be part of the reason why. While I never wish anyone pain or heartache, I can say truly that I identify with what your wife is feeling - while physical relations is not 'everything' to a relationship - it is a big part of keeping one strong. So, I ask that you cut her a wee bit of slack on that feeling. (Although how she handled it, not exactly the best and grown up way to do so). May your future bring you what you want and what you deserve - happiness - just like everyone else. Warmly - Kellie __________________ The Constitution gives every American the right to make a total fool out of himself. But that doesn't mean you need to.

02-10-2014, 12:25 PM	#84
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Dags! Long time no see! Good to have you back x __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

02-10-2014, 03:19 PM	#86
Dagney The Prodigal Brat Returneth Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: North Cackalacky Posts: 1,107	Yep - it's me - I hide a lot - but I'm around __________________ The Constitution gives every American the right to make a total fool out of himself. But that doesn't mean you need to.

02-10-2014, 06:30 PM	#88
Pamela Deplorable Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 767	Hello Dagney. How nice to see you again. We've missed you around here. Love Pam

02-10-2014, 10:23 PM	#89
Dagney The Prodigal Brat Returneth Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: North Cackalacky Posts: 1,107	Thanks everyone - won't hijack Pamela's thread - but will update folks later Ya'll behave! __________________ The Constitution gives every American the right to make a total fool out of himself. But that doesn't mean you need to.

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