Here comes Bertha - a but sister

[sexobon]

This was a marching cadence song (with many variations) way back when:

Columbo

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two
A sailor from Bordilli
Was walking down the streets of Spain
A-yankin' his tamale

He said the world was round-o
He said it could be found-o
That hypothetical, masturbating, son of a bitch
Columbo

He walked right up to the Queen of Spain
And asked for ships and cargo
He said, "I'll be a son-of-a-gun if I don't bring back Chicago"

He said the world was round-o
He said it could be found-o
That hypothetical, fornicating, son of a bitch
Columbo

Said Isabelle to Ferdinand
His plan sounds mighty hazy
Said Ferdinand to Isabelle
I think the fucker's crazy

He said the world was round-o
He said it could be found-o
That hypothetical, calculating, son of a bitch
Columbo

The queen she gave him 3 broad ships
They all were triple deckers
The Queen she waved her handkerchief
Columbo waved his pecker

He said the world was round-o
He said it could be found-o
That hypothetical, masturbating, son of a bitch
Columbo

For forty days and forty nights
They sailed the broad Atlantic
If it wasn't for the sheep on board
The crew, they would have panicked

He said the world was round-o
He said it could be found-o
That hypothetical, fornicating, son of a bitch
Columbo

The first mate yes the first mate
My he was a big'un
He wrapped it twice around the mast
And used the rest for riggin'

The second mate yes the second mate
Loved him like a brother
Took him down below the deck
And they cornholed one another

He said the world was round-o
He said it could be found-o
That hypothetical, observating [sic], son of a bitch
Columbo

The cabin boy, the cabin boy
My he was a nipper
Lined his ass with shards of glass
And circumcised the skipper

He said the world was round-o
He said it could be found-o
That hypothetical, reciprocating, son of a bitch
Columbo