Tales from the Nuthouse: Lest You Think I have a Really Cool Job - Page 10

ZenGum · 03-22-2009, 07:52 PM

So, he wished to engage in some saxual perversity?

Urbane Guerrilla · 03-23-2009, 01:21 AM

That being aural sax.

wolf · 03-24-2009, 01:37 AM

Some nights, things go well.

Other nights, things are busy as Hell.

Occasionally things are right smack in the middle.

That's where we are right now.

Would have maybe gotten out of here within an hour of my regular time to leave but for one thing ...

Midnight guy calls in at around 2330 ... "Yeah, this is MidnightGuy. I was on my way in and I puked in my car. I'm turning around, going home to clean myself up. I'll see how things go and call back."

Not surprisingly, when he called back (just before midnight) he said, "Yeah, I'm not making it in."

By the time he made the second call, I'd already made arrangements to reschedule my lunch date with Tester-San for tomorrow, and informed momwolf not to wait up.

So, here I am, in the nuthouse, taking one for the team, providing coverage for the shift.

I have had three-quarters of a pot of coffee. I have snacks leftover from dinner that I didn't eat.

That's about as good as it's going to get.

I just hope I don't run out of cigarettes.

That could get ugly.

wolf · 03-24-2009, 01:43 AM

Oh, and I have a new name, courtesy of a very agitated patient that was in last week.

I am "Commander Fatass."

My cow orkers and I were comparing names we have been given by patients. The big scary (white) guy's new name is "Nigger" and my rather demure female cow orker is "Cum-sucking Slut."

xoxoxoBruce · 03-24-2009, 01:51 AM

Cum-sucking Slut? Uh, er, could I get an introduction?

ZenGum · 03-24-2009, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Oh, and I have a new name, courtesy of a very agitated patient that was in last week.

I am "Commander Fatass."

My cow orkers and I were comparing names we have been given by patients. The big scary (white) guy's new name is "Nigger" and my rather demure female cow orker is "Cum-sucking Slut."

User title time!

Trilby · 03-24-2009, 07:59 AM

actually, "cum-sucking slut" is a series in a porn franchise...

eg: Kacey the cum sucking slut....Angie the cum sucking slut....and so on.

guess the guy is into film....

HungLikeJesus · 03-24-2009, 08:47 AM

You have an amazing depth of knowledge.

Trilby · 03-24-2009, 09:08 AM

you've no idea.

wolf · 03-25-2009, 01:19 PM

I stand corrected. She's merely "Cum-Slut," not "Cum-Sucking Slut."

Sorry for any confusion this may have caused.

We would love to get tee-shirts, but particularly Nigger understands that others may not find this as amusing as we do.

I was very busy last night talking to JFK Airport police.

Seems they have one of my warrants, and promised to do their best to find my nut and get him to me.

I guess since 9/11 the airports are really sensitive about crazy guys wandering around their terminals and getting onto one of their flights.

xoxoxoBruce · 03-25-2009, 01:33 PM

Unless he/she is the pilot.

How did they get your warrant, was he suspected of going to NY, or are the just sent out APB?

wolf · 03-26-2009, 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Unless he/she is the pilot.

How did they get your warrant, was he suspected of going to NY, or are the just sent out APB?

It was faxed to JFK along with a photo of the intended patient by his home police jurisdiction who had entered him into NCIC as a missing emotionally disabled person. Family thought he was going to fly home (to a foreign country), and usually flew out of JFK, although PHL also has a direct flight there. Point of technical fact my warrant is not valid in that jurisdiction, but, hey, who am I to argue with a Sergeant who is all excited about grabbing up a nut and delivering to me. Even the boss thought it was pretty cool.

Turns out he never made it to the airport, although he was in NYC yesterday ... sounds like he was making a series of "goodbye" visits to significant places from his life. He had also driven to a good-sized city to the South of us, and said he was walking around the area where he and his wife met, that kind of thing. He showed up at home around 0400 hrs, and the local police took him into custody. My EMTs said he was nuts.

xoxoxoBruce · 03-26-2009, 01:31 AM

Hmmm.... OK, he's nuts. So instead of letting fly to the country of his choice we've got to take care of him?

Hell, we drove him nuts, isn't that enough?

TheMercenary · 03-27-2009, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Hmmm.... OK, he's nuts. So instead of letting fly to the country of his choice we've got to take care of him?

Hell, we drove him nuts, isn't that enough?

Eh, let him go home. Just don't let him come back.

wolf · 08-14-2009, 12:20 AM

Sometimes, the evenings are pretty horrifying. Mostly by the mere density of the caseload.

Tonight we had that and an extra treat.

It was like Groundhog Day.

Really.

Not once, but twice, in the same interview room

TWO women urinated and smeared menstrual blood.

TWO.

Okay, to be fair, the first one was worse, because she also took a dump and used the resulting production as an additional art supply.

All over the room.

Walls, floor, door, windows.

She also made a little collage out of the contents of an entire box of tissues. Luckily it was one of those tiny hospital boxes. She made a peace sign, the word cry, and a bunch of other things we couldn't figure out. She was apparently writing a letter.

The first one I got to assist into the shower. She wasn't terribly cooperative. Go figure.

In retrospect, we realize that we should have taken a picture of the damage to the first room and submitted it for a photo contest that is underway. Unfortunately we didn't have this idea until after Environmental Services had done a very good job of deconning the area.

The lobby still smells like shit, though.

03-22-2009, 07:52 PM	#1
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	So, he wished to engage in some saxual perversity? __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

03-23-2009, 01:21 AM	#2
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	Blow, Winds, & Crack Your Cheeks! That being aural sax. __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course.

03-24-2009, 01:37 AM	#3
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Some nights, things go well. Other nights, things are busy as Hell. Occasionally things are right smack in the middle. That's where we are right now. Would have maybe gotten out of here within an hour of my regular time to leave but for one thing ... Midnight guy calls in at around 2330 ... "Yeah, this is MidnightGuy. I was on my way in and I puked in my car. I'm turning around, going home to clean myself up. I'll see how things go and call back." Not surprisingly, when he called back (just before midnight) he said, "Yeah, I'm not making it in." By the time he made the second call, I'd already made arrangements to reschedule my lunch date with Tester-San for tomorrow, and informed momwolf not to wait up. So, here I am, in the nuthouse, taking one for the team, providing coverage for the shift. I have had three-quarters of a pot of coffee. I have snacks leftover from dinner that I didn't eat. That's about as good as it's going to get. I just hope I don't run out of cigarettes. That could get ugly. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-24-2009, 01:43 AM	#4
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Oh, and I have a new name, courtesy of a very agitated patient that was in last week. I am "Commander Fatass." My cow orkers and I were comparing names we have been given by patients. The big scary (white) guy's new name is "Nigger" and my rather demure female cow orker is "Cum-sucking Slut." __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-24-2009, 01:51 AM	#5
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Cum-sucking Slut? Uh, er, could I get an introduction? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

03-24-2009, 07:59 AM	#7
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	actually, "cum-sucking slut" is a series in a porn franchise... eg: Kacey the cum sucking slut....Angie the cum sucking slut....and so on. guess the guy is into film.... __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

03-24-2009, 08:47 AM	#8
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	You have an amazing depth of knowledge. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

03-24-2009, 09:08 AM	#9
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	you've no idea. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

03-25-2009, 01:19 PM	#10
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	I stand corrected. She's merely "Cum-Slut," not "Cum-Sucking Slut." Sorry for any confusion this may have caused. We would love to get tee-shirts, but particularly Nigger understands that others may not find this as amusing as we do. I was very busy last night talking to JFK Airport police. Seems they have one of my warrants, and promised to do their best to find my nut and get him to me. I guess since 9/11 the airports are really sensitive about crazy guys wandering around their terminals and getting onto one of their flights. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-25-2009, 01:33 PM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Unless he/she is the pilot. How did they get your warrant, was he suspected of going to NY, or are the just sent out APB? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

03-26-2009, 01:31 AM	#13
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Hmmm.... OK, he's nuts. So instead of letting fly to the country of his choice we've got to take care of him? Hell, we drove him nuts, isn't that enough? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

08-14-2009, 12:20 AM	#15
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Sometimes, the evenings are pretty horrifying. Mostly by the mere density of the caseload. Tonight we had that and an extra treat. It was like Groundhog Day. Really. Not once, but twice, in the same interview room TWO women urinated and smeared menstrual blood. TWO. Okay, to be fair, the first one was worse, because she also took a dump and used the resulting production as an additional art supply. All over the room. Walls, floor, door, windows. She also made a little collage out of the contents of an entire box of tissues. Luckily it was one of those tiny hospital boxes. She made a peace sign, the word cry, and a bunch of other things we couldn't figure out. She was apparently writing a letter. The first one I got to assist into the shower. She wasn't terribly cooperative. Go figure. In retrospect, we realize that we should have taken a picture of the damage to the first room and submitted it for a photo contest that is underway. Unfortunately we didn't have this idea until after Environmental Services had done a very good job of deconning the area. The lobby still smells like shit, though. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

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