What might be making you a tad apprehensive, but might not, as it's too soon to tell

[Nirvana]

She was wearing a thong

[classicman]

Imma lil late, as usual, but still glad you are doing well/better/whateverthePCfuckingtermistowishyouwell and be happy for you.

{{HUGGZZ}}

[infinite monkey]

Thanks buddy.

The torture isn't over yet. The Swooper is still effing with me big time. The difference now is I just keep doing my work, smile, say yes or no in the right places, and I don't let her get to me. Whatever happens will happen but I hope it happens soon.

I am in a good place though. My breakdown seems to be just what the doctor didn't order, but it sure helped me with perspective.

I remember to breathe, I remember to walk if I feel anxiety mounting, I remember to write it down if need be, and I remember it ain't nothin' but a job, and it ain't worth my life or even my little bit of pride.

But they make the move. I won't.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Thanks buddy.

The torture isn't over yet. The Swooper is still effing with me big time. The difference now is I just keep doing my work, smile, say yes or no in the right places, and I don't let her get to me. Whatever happens will happen but I hope it happens soon.

I am in a good place though. My breakdown seems to be just what the doctor didn't order, but it sure helped me with perspective.

I remember to breathe, I remember to walk if I feel anxiety mounting, I remember to write it down if need be, and I remember it ain't nothin' but a job, and it ain't worth my life or even my little bit of pride.

But they make the move. I won't.

this sounds smart, you sound good here. I'd like to add something. about who makes the move--let them make the move if you want, you make the move if and when you want, whichever. But. I would urge you to PREPARE to make the move or have the move made by them. Being caught flat footed is an avoidable problem, and it's got the potential to be a big problem. Avoid it by being prepared, or at least minimize it. You're smart, you're on your feet now, you'll be on your feet no matter what happens.

[infinite monkey]

Thanks V.

I have been preparing, in one form or another, for a very long time. Stacks of documentation from months and months, for starters.

I am prepared, emotionally, for them to make a move. I will not do it unless I have found something else: I need to think about a few monetary issues that are tightly tied up with 'who does what and when they does it.'

I also have to be very careful not to pile a giant plate of readiness that I have to lug about on my back because those giant piles are what send me over the edge. So I deal with the actual actions as they come, and I have numerous ideas, plans, and avenues of recourse should I need them.

I feel, like, 100 times more prepared to handle whatever than I did two weeks ago, that's for sure.

But it ain't always easy. :1footinfrontoftheothersmilie:

[BigV]

yw.

you really do sound great. that makes me happy.

[footfootfoot]

Shit yeah, I'll have whatever Infi's having.

[infinite monkey]

I don't know. Scratch that. Reverse it.

I just got another big fuck-over about my paid time off. Time I've earned. I have crafted a letter to HR and will send towards the end of the day. I walked outside because I knew there was going to be no way to absorb this latest jab and not get a little weepy (and that I have a horrible head cold which makes me weak and weepy anyway.)

The gist of my letter is about overtime I never received compensation or 'comp time' for (while everyone else in the office made money hand over fist...consider making 55g/year and getting your hourly wage of that time and a halfed...one cow orker felt it was 'sinful' but it set her up nice when she finally got forced out, and I am a pay grade lower and still PROFESSIONAL staff just like them) and about being harrassed because of my illness (which the job as it is exacerbates) and the complete disregard for my FMLA that I did to save my ass. And who the fuck does it matter to if I use earned vacation time (I have 220 hours) except to ME! It only hurts ME! And I can't ever use it because there's always too much to do then I make myself sick with worry and anxiety and end up using sick time...never ending circle. And to top it off, I reported 15 minutes late one morning (it was actually about 8 minutes after 8) when the traffic was bad and was told I can't use my PERSONAL time to cover that and I need to take it without pay.

My letter is a bit more professional than that, but it is by no means unclear in its purpose.

It's as bad as it can get. I may turn in my resignation tomorrow. I will have to give 30 days to get my vac pay paid out, and I will have to fight for unemployment (prove they made it impossible to stay) and I will lose my insurance...

Why don't they just get it over with? I'm broken, I'm trying to mend, and they keep kicking me.

I wish I wish I wish I could tell them to shove the job, but I have nothing/no one to fall back on. But I'm regressing, inside. I'm scared and hurt again and my coping mechanisms are falling far short of helping.

[Pete Zicato]

illegitimi non carborundum

[footfootfoot]

From personal experience I can tell you that when you are living or working with crazy people who insist that they are normal, it makes you begin to believe that you are crazy.

Keep reminding your self that it's them who are crazy, not you.

[infinite monkey]

I just feel completely without hope, here.

I need to sleep on it. See how it feels tomorrow. Can I PM a copy of my letter to HR to a couple of you so you can tell me what you think?

Wow. Just. Wow.

[glatt]

Sure. PM it to me and I'll take a look at it.

I'm no employment law expert, but I'll give you any thoughts that I have.

Just remember that if HR is the enemy, you may be giving them ammunition with any letter you might send them, so be careful.

[infinite monkey]

I am in a town hall meeting the pres gives. Will send the pm when i get back. I will respond to them, in due time...not react as they want.

I just want it all to end, honestly. This is just too much: too disheartening and too destructive to me.

[Nirvana]

[BigV]

this is the scut work of preparing. you're doing it. it's happening right now. fuck. left foot. right foot. left foot. right foot. left foot. right foot.

keep your head down and your feet moving. you're making progress.