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01-07-2004, 06:25 PM
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#16 |
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Junior Master Dwellar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Kingdom of Atlantia
Posts: 2,979
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"Your pants are like a mirror: I can see myself in them."
"What do you want for breakfast tomorrow?" One that worked on me: I was playing a game of pool solo at my normal haunt, which was empty on a wednesday night. Guy buys a beer and walks over to the table: "You gonna play with yourself all night or you want some company?" That was Bryan's father. |
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01-07-2004, 07:17 PM
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#17 |
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Has Body Temperature
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I come from a land downunder
Posts: 1,105
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Last saturday at the club a guys friend tapped me on the shoulder and as i looked round i noticed the guy on the ground.. his friend says "hey , he just fell" guy on ground says "in love with you"
was so pathetic i didnt even give a response, when i passed later on they were doing the same thing to another girl. SAD __________ i love my friend Rays method - walks up to a girl with a piece of ice in hand. puts ice on table. smashes ice. "now that ive broken the ice can i buy you a drink?" -- so cute  ____________
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We'll never be as young as we are right now |
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01-07-2004, 07:38 PM
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#18 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 12,486
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"No seats around? No problem...you'll always have a place to sit...on my face."
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01-07-2004, 08:08 PM
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#19 |
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Has Body Temperature
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I come from a land downunder
Posts: 1,105
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call other person over to you with the come here waving finger. once they have arrived:
"if i can make u come with one finger imagine what i can do with my whole hand!" ________________ "no places to sit? come sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up"
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We'll never be as young as we are right now |
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01-07-2004, 08:10 PM
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#20 | |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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Quote:
that's so dirty.......... 
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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01-07-2004, 10:20 PM
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#21 |
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Minister of Lurking
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: calgary
Posts: 64
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A girl once turned to me at a Denny's and asked "Is this seat wet, or is it just me?"
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"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked. "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "We are all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice. "You must be," said the Cat. "Or else you wouldn't have come here." |
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01-07-2004, 10:32 PM
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#22 |
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Has Body Temperature
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I come from a land downunder
Posts: 1,105
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now THAT is dirty.......... well done sir!
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We'll never be as young as we are right now |
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01-08-2004, 08:06 AM
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#23 |
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Lecturer
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 927
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him: did it hurt?
me: huh? him: did it hurt when you fell down from heaven? |
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01-08-2004, 08:15 AM
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#24 |
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Your Bartender
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
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"If you lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?"
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01-08-2004, 08:57 AM
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#25 | |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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Quote:
LOL! NO, REALLY, I LAUGHED OUT LOUD! now every one here at work wants to know what's so goddamn funny. don;t be surprised if there are a bunch of new members that happen to sell cars.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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01-08-2004, 11:53 AM
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#26 |
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Your Bartender
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
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Thank you... it wasn't original, but then I doubt most of these are!
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01-08-2004, 12:16 PM
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#27 |
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When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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Since most of these comeon lines are BS, why not go for the obvious?
"Hello. I am a multimillionaire with a ten inch penis, and I'm bored. Would you like to have a drink with me?" Of course, it would be found to be spurious, but maybe not after a quickie in the parking lot of the bar...in her car...because your beater would be her first clue you were lying.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
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01-08-2004, 12:19 PM
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#28 |
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lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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and if she figured it out from examining your watch and shoes your activity would be a beater in your car ...
Yeah, that was a little far to go for a joke. I know it, and I'm properly shamed. Hmm. Having trouble reaching. Can someone give me a hand with the spanking ...
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  wolf eht htiw og"Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
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01-08-2004, 12:29 PM
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#29 |
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When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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I don't wear a watch, and I defy any of your average barflies to judge my income from my sandals.
Part of this ploy is that you need to make sure they're fairly schnockered *first* before delivering the comeon.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
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01-08-2004, 02:13 PM
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#30 |
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Professor
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,788
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Cynical Man's Perspective
I'm not sure which bodes more ill for the human race... that men keep delivering these lines or that women keep falling for them.
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