I think somebody needs a nap.

[dar512]

Originally posted by lumberjim

who says a sense of masculinity is outdated.

Depends on your definition of masculinity. In this case, I think juju is heading in the right direction. Parenting is the hardest thing you'll ever do. It's worth some reflection.

Since the only model most of us have for parenting is how our parents did it, it's very hard to escape that and parent in a different, and hopefully better, way.

If juju's way of thinking about that is to go over the stuff he didn't like when he was growing up, then that's what works for him.

He was even big enough to admit he might have been wrong. I think that deserves applause, not snide comments.

[kerosene]

Originally posted by juju
I think that I have to figure myself out if I'm going to be a good parent. Is the anger I hold for the things my mom did valid, or am I just misunderstanding her difficult position? I think this is really important for me to figure out.

I can relate to this. I find myself looking back and wondering whether my anger with my parents' behavior is valid and whether I will end up doing the same things to my son. I realized something, though. The fact that you focus that much on how you are raising your child indicates that you are doing an excellent job, so far. As long as you keep that awareness fresh, I think it will come naturally.

[Troubleshooter]

Originally posted by juju
Is the anger I hold for the things my mom did valid, or am I just misunderstanding her difficult position? I think this is really important for me to figure out.

I think one of the biggest problems that the world is facing today is everyone's urge to understand things instead of just letting them go.

Anger in some situations is appropriate, repressed anger over emotional trauma in the distant past is a waste of time, effort, and emotional headspace. Just let it go. Understanding it won't do you any real good.

Concentrate on how you would like to rear your child and the relationship that you would like to have with your child.

[juju]

You don't think that by understanding whether or not a certain parental action was immensely wrong or a good idea, it'll help me decide whether or not to do that action?

Finding out that I was actually done wrong helps me get over the anger. Because otherwise, I'm just pissed off for no reason, to which people respond discouragingly. But then I get angry trying to justify myself, because I can't help how I feel. But if I know I was right, then maybe I can begin to get over it.

If it turns out it was a simple misunderstanding on my part, then I can realize I was wrong, and then I can get over it.

But I can't get over it without understanding. That's now how people work. At least, I don't think so.

[elSicomoro]

Originally posted by lumberjim
dave would be kicking your ass all over the cellar by now over this.

I think we need to ask an important question here: Who the fuck cares?

[elSicomoro]

Juju, you seem to have some unresolved issues regarding your parents. I'm no expert by any means, but I personally think it would be worth it for you to explore that realm further.

[lumberjim]

Originally posted by sycamore


I think we need to ask an important question here: Who the fuck cares?

it was a comment meant to cut through the theatrics. The thread is now moving in a direction that juju intended. What have we witnessed as children that we can change about the way we raise our children.

That's a good thread topic.

The reason i was harsh to juju about this was because of the way he began this thread ( and he's done it before) He comes from the direction of a frustrated teenager. complaining about the way his feelings are being trod on.

[homie] i's just tryin to slap my bitch up. get him thinkin right. [/homie]
The direction this has taken NOW is what juju says he was trying to convey in the first place, right?

That's why I voice my frustrations in the first place. I think that I have to figure myself out if I'm going to be a good parent. Is the anger I hold for the things my mom did valid, or am I just misunderstanding her difficult position? I think this is really important for me to figure out.

I'll admit to being a bit of a prick aboutit, dar512. I was just tired of the whining from him after the spaz attack he had on that thread------>
yesterday

[zippyt]

Well personaly I LIKE to take a nap after work , give me an hour or 2 for a little dozeing and I am a HAPPY camper .

Now about kids takeing a nap , Dude after a while you will figuer out that your kid is being a hellion because they are tired , thus the saying " i think Somebody needs a nap ".

About your unresolved problems with your mom ,
Troubleshooter got it right when he said ,"Anger in some situations is appropriate, repressed anger over emotional trauma in the distant past is a waste of time, effort, and emotional headspace. Just let it go."
As a child my father died when i was 5 , my mom went thru 2 failed business , alcholisim , drug addiction ,,,,,,,,,,
She used to take out her frustrations on us , Being made to drop your drawers and getting spanked was the least of it , try getting punched out ( lites out that is ) for getting an f on a school paper , or getting your ass kicked ALL weekend for getting a second F. This was back in the days when a dr wouldn't think about calling the cops unless the parent damn near killed you , "Oh DR. he is just so accedent prone " MY ASS !!!!
But you know what I learned from the experence , both our kids are VERRRRY well adjusted , they understand how to function in society and are doing WELL !!!
So let the past be just that , the past .
Life is a learning experence , and some times EVERY body NEEDS a "TIME OUT ".
IMHO

[wolf]

Speaking as someone who actually puts uncooperative adults in time out ...

It doesn't work on them either.

Four hours in four-points, on the other hand ...

[OnyxCougar]

I can tell when my kids need a nap because they do just get irritable and unreasonable, crying uncontrollably, etc.

I think that identifying the problems you have/had with your parents is a good thing, and simply ignoring that isn't the way to go about improving your parenting style or fixing any emotional wounds.

I was told to "get over it" when Steven was killed, and it never worked for me. I somehow had to figure out how to deal with the senselessness of it, and ONLY then could I move on.

We are not doomed to make the mistakes our parents made, we can learn from them and make a choice not to do that to our kids.

Ignoring it won't solve anything.


and on a side note to LJ...dude... Let Dave die. I've noticed you've brought him up in several threads. This is not "What would Dave do". There's a reason many folks didn't like him. I'd have thought you'd have picked up on that by now, with your prehensile whale penis and e'ythang.

[lumberjim]

OnyxCougar
and on a side note to LJ...dude... Let Dave die. I've noticed you've brought him up in several threads. This is not "What would Dave do". There's a reason many folks didn't like him. I'd have thought you'd have picked up on that by now, with your prehensile whale penis and e'ythang.

I don't want to hyjack this thread




My kids used to get "overtired". especially when they were very young. This state of overtiredness put them into a frenzied, eyes darting, knees bent advancing behavior mode. They would be harder to keep focused, and more likely to have violent mood swings. crying/laughing/crying ...And if it got to this point, when I finally did wrestle their jammies onto them, brush their teeth, endure the four separate trips by the tandem for drinks then potty, they would practically vibrate with chaotic energy for unpredictable amounts of time until they finally passed out.

[juju]

Sort of like a Barbarian's berserker mode?

[plthijinx]

my boy is almost 2-1/2 and still gets 2 naps a day. hell i'm 34 and take one a day! if T doesn't get at least one nap in he's a hellion to the nth degree. i get the proverbial screeimg, kicking, hitting the dog, rubbing the eyes and just plain bitchy in the extreem cases. nothing that a 2 hour nap can't take care of. T is my first child and boy, what a difference he has made in my life. most people have 9 months to get ready. my wife at the time and i adopted T. it happened this fast: one sunday morning the phone rang and it was a friend of ours who asked if we were still looking to adopt and that her aunts daughters best friend had a 2 week old that she wanted to give up for adoption. T was taken home that night. talk about falling off into the deep end without swimming first! imo, you decide if your going to be the quality parent you want to be. it's in your instincts, albeit some lack this quality. Juju, you'll do alright man, your in for the learning experience of a lifetime. as T gets older, i learn something new about him and myself. these experiences will never end and i don't want them to.