Humor...I Need Humor...

[ferret88]

And there's always this.

[xoxoxoBruce]

[toranokaze]

wwf wtf iff !fml

[GunMaster357]

Q: What is the sexual position that gives ugly children ?

















A: Ask your mother

[monster]

[TheMercenary]

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"


"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff, Ffffff, Ffffff, but before she could say "Fuck!" the Rottweiler ate her!"

The teacher had to leave the room.

[monster]

Originally Posted by Nirvana

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!"

Before the mother could raise a concern,
Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a hidden smile,
Sally's Mom asked, "Really small, was it?"

Sally replied, "No... Salty."

Mom fainted.

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"


"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff, Ffffff, Ffffff, but before she could say "Fuck!" the Rottweiler ate her!"

The teacher had to leave the room.

What is it with this unnecessary last line business? Kills the joke, totally.

[squirell nutkin]

Remedial Joke telling.

The "Humor Impaired" America's fastest growing minority.


Actually, I think it is this pathetic trope that I see often in my inbox along with other Glurge purporting to be "True" accounts "From the mouths of babes" like so much regurgitated pablum.

As you point out, the jokes are great, the tagline shits it.

[monster]

Originally Posted by squirell nutkin

Remedial Joke telling.

The "Humor Impaired" America's fastest growing minority.


Actually, I think it is this pathetic trope that I see often in my inbox along with other Glurge purporting to be "True" accounts "From the mouths of babes" like so much regurgitated pablum.

As you point out, the jokes are great, the tagline shits it.

And now I'm finished posting.

fix'd that for you

[squirell nutkin]

Actually lolled

[monster]

good Your ing made me which I needed cause I'm a little

[DangerouslySimple]

Man takes his fish into the veterinarian and says to the doc, "I think my fish has epilepsy."
Doctor takes a look at the fish thru the fishbowl and says, "I don't see anything wrong with him sir. He looks completely healthy."
Before the doctor could usher him out the exam room, the man replied, "Wait doc... Lemme take him outta the bowl!"

[UncaDollas]

The King of Rap?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb_j8DScFck

or was that the King of Heavy Metal?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnO7Pdm4ttc

[GunMaster357]

A guy got pulled on the side of the road by a police officer.

"Good morning, Officer. What's the problem ?"

"You were speeding well over the limit. Can I see your licence ? and have you name and profession ?"

"Of course, Name's John Smith, I'm an asshole enlarger and here is my licence."

"Asshole enlarger, seriously. What's that ?"

"You see, Officer, some people think they have too small an asshole. So they call upon my services to stretch it. Then I put gloves on, a lot of lubricant and insert first a finger then two, three, and son until I get my hand in. Then, I start working to insert the other hand. When I reach that step, I begin to use tools to keep the stretching going on. When they're real loose, I start using struts for shoring. I stop when they have a 6 foot asshole."

"Unbelievable ! And what can people do with a 6 foot asshole ?"

"They give him a uniform and put him on the side of the road.""

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by squirell nutkin

Remedial Joke telling.

The "Humor Impaired" America's fastest growing minority.


Actually, I think it is this pathetic trope that I see often in my inbox along with other Glurge purporting to be "True" accounts "From the mouths of babes" like so much regurgitated pablum.

As you point out, the jokes are great, the tagline shits it.

Originally Posted by monster

fix'd that for you

Originally Posted by squirell nutkin

Actually lolled

'Cause see, I thought the joke in squirl's post was that As you point out, the jokes are great, the tagline shits it actually WAS a tagline, and therefore ironic.

I guess not.