Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 265

infinite monkey · 04-26-2011, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

russian roulette?

I totally suck at russian roulette. I have trouble reading the number the marble lands in.

Oh, doh...just googled russian roulette. Yeah, I have trouble with that too, the barrel of the gun keeps pointing at other people. It's a LOT more fun that way. Wanna play?

Nirvana · 04-26-2011, 10:08 AM

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's
your IQ?"

The guy says," 168."

The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and
medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious...So he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini."

Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says,
"What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "100."

The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere
tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it
one more time..

He goes back into the bar.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you
voted for Obama?

footfootfoot · 04-26-2011, 10:56 AM

after three martinis my IQ drops about 100 points too.

Sheldonrs · 04-26-2011, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nirvana

...The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "Then why haven't you left a tip, Mr. Trump?

infinite monkey · 04-26-2011, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says,
"What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "100."

The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere
tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it
one more time..

He goes back into the bar.

The robot says, "What will you have?"

The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.

The robot then says, "What's your IQ?"

The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

Mixed up: Nascar belongs to the 50 IQ guy.

Gravdigr · 04-26-2011, 06:35 PM

Gravdigr · 04-26-2011, 06:36 PM

,

jimhelm · 04-26-2011, 09:47 PM

i heard it where the question is, 'how many cars you got out this month?'

morethanpretty · 04-27-2011, 11:32 PM

need a good joke now...

morethanpretty · 04-27-2011, 11:45 PM

why is that pig 3 legged?

morethanpretty · 04-28-2011, 12:40 AM

Because he's too special to eat all at once!

lookout123 · 04-28-2011, 01:22 PM

In and around gun circles lives the legend of the mall ninja. It is a derogatory term for posers who load up on certain brands of clothing and gear and talk up their abilities. The term mall ninja really popped up and took traction on a message board years ago. I present you with the best consolidation of his posts I've yet to see.
Here's to you Gecko45

Quote:

hello friends,

Last year I made the decision to trust my life on the street to Second Chance body armor. I got the level IIa because it stops the most rounds. plus I got the Trauma Plate for the front.

What scares me is that, although I can fit an extra trauma plate in the front, I cannot fit a second one in back. As of late I have taken to duct-taping a second trauma plate to the area of my back where the heart and vital organs are located. Then I put my vest on.

Here is the questions. The ducttape solution, although tactically sound, is hot and painful to remove. I would like to go to the single-plate solution in back. What I am worried about is repeated hits to that area with .308 ammunition. I have a high-risk security job and I fear that I would be the target for repeated long-distance shots to my back.

Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?

BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and “catch the rounds” while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up.

Thanks!

footfootfoot · 04-28-2011, 02:00 PM

Serpentine! Serpentine!

Gravdigr · 04-30-2011, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that?

That would have to be damned heavy.

Gravdigr · 05-01-2011, 06:02 PM

Part two in the next post.

They got separated by a page break.

04-26-2011, 10:08 AM	#3962
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says," 168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious...So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors. The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time.. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50." The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama? __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

04-26-2011, 10:56 AM	#3963
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	after three martinis my IQ drops about 100 points too. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

04-26-2011, 06:35 PM	#3966
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

04-26-2011, 06:36 PM	#3967
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	, Attached Images __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

04-26-2011, 09:47 PM	#3968
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	i heard it where the question is, 'how many cars you got out this month?' __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

04-27-2011, 11:32 PM	#3969
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	need a good joke now... __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

04-27-2011, 11:45 PM	#3970
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	why is that pig 3 legged? __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

04-28-2011, 12:40 AM	#3971
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	Because he's too special to eat all at once! __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

04-28-2011, 02:00 PM	#3973
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Serpentine! Serpentine! __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

05-01-2011, 06:02 PM	#3975
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Part two in the next post. They got separated by a page break. Attached Images __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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