Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 340

monster · 06-09-2014, 11:58 PM

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Sundae · 06-10-2014, 04:05 AM

A shopfitter and his apprentice are putting the finishing touches to a new shop.
Pleased with their progress they stop for a break. As the sun is shining the older fitter suggests they sit in the shop window for their tea. But he warns, "I bet some thicko stops by and asks what we're selling."

Sure enough, as they sit and sip, a Yorkshireman ambles up and asks what the shop sells.
With a sidelong look at his apprentice, the experienced shopfitter says, "Thickos."

"Eeee," says the Yorkshiremen, "you'll do well here. Look, only just opened and you're already down to your last two!"

fargon · 06-10-2014, 07:31 AM

What is a "Thickos"?

footfootfoot · 06-10-2014, 08:22 AM

A thick witted person = Thicko. More than one = Thickos.

Or were you being ironic?

fargon · 06-10-2014, 09:02 AM

I truly did not know, it is a British-ism I had never heard before. It was not in the book I got for Christmas last year.

Gravdigr · 06-10-2014, 02:43 PM

I thought she'd developed a lithp.

infinite monkey · 06-10-2014, 04:45 PM

Then it would have been 'thopfitter' which I don't know what that is either.

footfootfoot · 06-11-2014, 08:21 AM

What that is you just don't.

BigV · 06-11-2014, 01:27 PM

Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon. They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow and were holding up the men's game. "Don't they know they're supposed to let us play through?" asked the first man. The other man shook his head. "I'm going to go ask them if we can play through" said the first man, emphatically "Enough is enough". He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost. "Oh God" he said to his friend "This is awful. You're going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress". The other man shrugged, and said "No sweat". He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said "Small world!"

xoxoxoBruce · 06-12-2014, 02:52 PM

Snicker...

glatt · 06-12-2014, 03:11 PM

lol

DanaC · 06-15-2014, 11:27 AM

hahaha. Bruce that's brilliant.

Here's my submission, taken from the comments section of the Guardian:

Q: Why did Joseph Smith cross the road?
A: To get to the other bride.

footfootfoot · 06-16-2014, 01:43 PM

My dad and I went to the Christmas tree place and picked out a tree, the salesman asked my dad, "Are you going to put this up yourself?"
My dad said, "Don't be disgusting. I'm going to put it up in the living room."

xoxoxoBruce · 06-18-2014, 01:11 AM

.

Gravdigr · 06-18-2014, 01:40 AM

I laughed so loud at #12, I woke up Momdigr. Rly.

06-09-2014, 11:58 PM	#5086
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	__________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

06-10-2014, 04:05 AM	#5087
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	A shopfitter and his apprentice are putting the finishing touches to a new shop. Pleased with their progress they stop for a break. As the sun is shining the older fitter suggests they sit in the shop window for their tea. But he warns, "I bet some thicko stops by and asks what we're selling." Sure enough, as they sit and sip, a Yorkshireman ambles up and asks what the shop sells. With a sidelong look at his apprentice, the experienced shopfitter says, "Thickos." "Eeee," says the Yorkshiremen, "you'll do well here. Look, only just opened and you're already down to your last two!" __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

06-10-2014, 07:31 AM	#5088
fargon Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: La Crosse, WI Posts: 8,924	What is a "Thickos"? __________________ Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

06-10-2014, 08:22 AM	#5089
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	A thick witted person = Thicko. More than one = Thickos. Or were you being ironic? __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

06-10-2014, 09:02 AM	#5090
fargon Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: La Crosse, WI Posts: 8,924	I truly did not know, it is a British-ism I had never heard before. It was not in the book I got for Christmas last year. __________________ Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

06-10-2014, 02:43 PM	#5091
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	I thought she'd developed a lithp. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

06-10-2014, 04:45 PM	#5092
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Then it would have been 'thopfitter' which I don't know what that is either.

06-11-2014, 08:21 AM	#5093
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	What that is you just don't. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

06-11-2014, 01:27 PM	#5094
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon. They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow and were holding up the men's game. "Don't they know they're supposed to let us play through?" asked the first man. The other man shook his head. "I'm going to go ask them if we can play through" said the first man, emphatically "Enough is enough". He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost. "Oh God" he said to his friend "This is awful. You're going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress". The other man shrugged, and said "No sweat". He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said "Small world!" __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

06-12-2014, 02:52 PM	#5095
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Snicker... Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

06-12-2014, 03:11 PM	#5096
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	lol

06-16-2014, 01:43 PM	#5098
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	My dad and I went to the Christmas tree place and picked out a tree, the salesman asked my dad, "Are you going to put this up yourself?" My dad said, "Don't be disgusting. I'm going to put it up in the living room." __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

06-18-2014, 01:11 AM	#5099
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Patience with Patients . Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

06-18-2014, 01:40 AM	#5100
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	I laughed so loud at #12, I woke up Momdigr. Rly. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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