Humor...I Need Humor...

[infinite monkey]

The first two made me lol.

[busterb]

Great sex

I had awesome early morning sex this morning!!!








Damn shame no one was here to share.

[Cyclefrance]

It's always heartening to learn that everything 'down there' is in good working order. Personally I have no major problems in this respect, and most especially with regards to its other and more regular function. At 6.00 am regular as clockwork, I can be confident that I wiil urinate without any problem whatsoever. It's just a bit inconvenient that I don't usually wake up until 6.30 am.

[Cyclefrance]

Something for hiccups (I wouldn't be surprised if you had seen this cure before)

[fargon]

You scared me CF.

[Cyclefrance]

Did you have hiccups?

[DanaC]

An oldie, but still makes me giggle: see whole list here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...ilOverlordList

My favourites:

Things I'll do if I ever become an Evil Overlord.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

[footfootfoot]

I was just thinking of this list the other day. Thanks for posting it. It's got to be at least 20 years old.

[footfootfoot]

Why did the chicken sit on a duck egg?






It was mistake hen.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

I was just thinking of this list the other day. Thanks for posting it. It's got to be at least 20 years old.

The page I linked to is really good and gives a potted history of the list as well.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by Cyclefrance

Something for hiccups (I wouldn't be surprised if you had seen this cure before)

You may expect my soiled shorts in the mail, presently.

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

You may expect my soiled shorts in the mail, presently.

Kinky! :-)

[Gravdigr]

Hey! Get my shorts outta your mind. They're dirty enough!

[xoxoxoBruce]

Oh boy, can I watch the make up sex.

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Oh boy, can I watch the make up sex.

I didn't know Grav wore make-up.