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| Relationships People who need people; or, why can't we all just get along? |
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06-14-2007, 08:30 PM
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#1 |
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 8,360
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it does, you're right. It fucking sucks.
Hope things work out better for you in the future.
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"Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!" |
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06-15-2007, 03:01 PM
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#2 |
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polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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Anonymous, Bruce is completely right.
Think carefully when he comes crying to get you back - and you know he will. If you continue in this situation you will have no right to complain. This is how he is - he had the chance to "reform" when this came up last year. We said he wouldn't change and he didn't. No amount of "I'm sorry"s and "I love you"s are going to change the bottom line - THIS IS WHAT HE DOES. I don't mean that to explain/ excuse his behaviour. I think that was your problem the first time round - you wanted to ask us why he was doing it. It doesn't matter why when you get right down to it. What matters is that it hurts you, and it is a reasonable thing to be hurt about. If you can't change to accept his sexual behaviour - and there is no reason you should - then he will keep hurting you. Write it off.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
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06-15-2007, 06:30 PM
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#3 | |
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May Ter Dee
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 26
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Quote:
I agree. I am trying. It ain't easy. Here comes the moment of truth... I was off today and delivered his belongings to his residence, and picked up mine. We have 2 big items left to exchange that could not be handled in my vehicle. He has been gone all week working, and I have been successful at not answering the phone and doing alot of self talk to keep calm, focused, and REALISTIC. He just got off the plane here and both of my phones are ringing. I know what the right thing to do is, I just have to do it. As upalatable as the whole thing is....I am trying not to puke. Last edited by anonymousfornow; 06-15-2007 at 06:34 PM. Reason: anal retentivitis |
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06-15-2007, 06:41 PM
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#4 | |
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 8,360
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Quote:
__________________
"Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!" |
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06-15-2007, 06:43 PM
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#5 | |
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May Ter Dee
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 26
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06-15-2007, 06:58 PM
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#6 |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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And we still love you, too.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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06-15-2007, 08:55 PM
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#7 | |
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-◊|≡·∙■·∙≡|◊-
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Parts unknown.
Posts: 4,081
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Quote:
 We've all been where you are too in one way or another. Yeah, it sucks but when you finally do get through it - and you will - it feels great. Pull up a chair and grab a beer. Hang out for a bit.
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♠ ♥ ♣ ♦ |
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06-18-2007, 11:14 AM
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#8 |
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May Ter Dee
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 26
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Now what do I do?
Instead of getting off the plane, seeing all your belongings at your house, and doing something, ANYTHING to fight for your relationship....he orders an escort.
Our whole miserable horrifying weekend was spent listening to the man I love come clean with all his indiscretions, and why he does it, and replaying in my head how utterly horrendous and hopeless the situation is and the loss and changes that this will cost both of us a long while into the future. I just started a new position last Monday and I am not at work today. I am sick and depressed and want to rip the hair out of my head. This is going to cost me my job, my car, my home, my sanity, my ability to trust men in the future. I am an innocent bystander. He should have to fix this mess ;not me. He should have to pay the price for what he has brought into our lives and down upon our heads. I have enough life challenges to face without this on top of it. This was the nail in the coffin. I love this man and planned on staying with him for as much as there can be a forever. He feels the same way, and i do believe him. I just cannot be in love with him anymore. He is sick, and maybe this is his bottom, this is what it takes for him to seek help. Unfortunately, I now need my own help that I cannot afford. Neither of us have been in this situation and we freely admit it, we also freely admit that we have no clue what to do or how to fix things or how to make the pain and addiction go away, or how to minimize the destruction that will be wrought on each of us because of this. We are not married, and any commitments we have made to each other are null and void. I am one that does not believe you need a ring and a paper from the state to make the commitment any stronger or any more valid. He has asked me for help. Do I help him? Am I wrong for making the desicion to split? For better or for worse. Isnt this the worse part? |
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06-18-2007, 11:39 AM
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#9 |
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 8,360
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don't help him, help yourself. Write it off as a life lesson and move the fuck on.
__________________
"Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!" |
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06-18-2007, 11:55 AM
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#10 | |
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May Ter Dee
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 26
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06-18-2007, 12:13 PM
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#11 | |
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Come on, cat.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area
Posts: 7,013
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Quote:
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Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good. |
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06-18-2007, 11:50 AM
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#12 |
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Come on, cat.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area
Posts: 7,013
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Yeah, help him out. If he doesn't have a significant other, then there's nothing wrong with what he's doing.
__________________
Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good. |
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06-18-2007, 11:53 AM
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#13 | |
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May Ter Dee
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 26
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06-18-2007, 12:07 PM
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#14 |
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 8,360
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but by stressing that ITS NOT FAIR and that he should pay, you are focusing on HIM. Let that go, and focus on yourself.
__________________
"Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!" |
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06-18-2007, 12:16 PM
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#15 | |
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Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
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Quote:
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby |
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