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04-18-2013, 10:02 AM | #9241 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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I feel small, insignificant, unimportant, stranded, strangled, downtrodden.
There's no sense in getting into 'why' anymore. I'll just say we had a staff meeting which was a lot of self-love in terms of making sure the wigs and everyone else sees what a goddamn indispensible force of nature they are, and the subsequent kudos from the wigs about how wonderful everyone, EVERYONE, on this 'team' is. With an exception. Obvious. I just needed to say it. I wish I could make someone see it. I wish someone knew how it feels...to have been a vital, hardworking, involved, concerned, respected even admired entity...to now be whatever the opposite of important is, to be a liability, to be ignored and disdained, to look around at the mutual admiration society and be so far removed from any sense of understanding or appreciation. What was I thinking in my younger days? That my work ethic would surpass any need to game-play, to toot my own horn, to be someone other than what and who I am? How naive have I been? I still have one more meeting, on Tuesday. That will determine the next steps. But right now I feel old, stupid, ugly, detrimental, unlikeable. The only thing I don't feel like is a big giant phony. Thanks for listening. Really, it's what I need. To be able to talk about it without judgment, without narrowed eyes, without thinly disguised disgust. Because I feel disgusting. Maybe I am. |
04-18-2013, 10:27 AM | #9242 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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Oh, and when a 'friend' disses you in semi-public, that helps. Oh, I DO suck? Thank you very much. I'd almost forgotten.
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04-18-2013, 10:35 AM | #9243 |
™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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Sorry, you're feeling down, IM.
I think you do yourself no favors when you are so hard on yourself. |
04-18-2013, 11:21 AM | #9244 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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Thanks glatt. You're always there with a kind word, and I know how tiresome I am.
I am working on the cognitive exercises I learned in the bin/therapy. Sometimes I forget and have to be reminded. The theory is that eventually the better thought processes become habit. But now I struggle and work at it. And I still get upset and I still get angry. A day of feeling good seems sure to be shot down by, at least, the next day. But I'm still here (by here I don't mean the physical space I currently occupy, I mean I am 'here' but that ain't all that) and I'm still moving forward, slowly. Thanks again. |
04-18-2013, 11:25 AM | #9245 |
Encroaching on your decrees
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland
Posts: 7,016
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That sounds awful, Infi. Please make sure that you're not under the influence of any of the 15 reasons you may be feeling bad ...
And certainly vent away here! Let it all out! We can take it for ya!
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Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of |
04-18-2013, 11:30 AM | #9246 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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Jumping on Glatt's bandwagon. And I'd like to offer you this free gift at absolutely no cost to you, even if you decide not to keep the steak knives.
To redeem your free gift follow this link: http://www.cellar.org/showthread.php...359#post861359
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
04-18-2013, 11:42 AM | #9247 |
Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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Thanks guys. (Is 'guys' slang for 'y'all' or 'everyone' elsewhere? I always wonder when I say 'guys' it isn't obvious to everyone that I dont' mean 'guys' in the gender term...just thought I'd throw that in.) |
04-18-2013, 12:00 PM | #9248 |
Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB.
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago suburbs
Posts: 2,916
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It is in STL.
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Talk nerdy to me. |
04-21-2013, 08:01 PM | #9249 |
trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
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This is upsetting me. Has been for quite a while now. I'm waiting for my dermatologist appointment in a couple of weeks. Hopefully some laser therapy will help. BTW, what you see on this leg is pretty much all over my body.
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
04-21-2013, 08:12 PM | #9250 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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I don't think legs are supposed to do that.
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
04-21-2013, 08:19 PM | #9251 |
trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
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They are definitely not supposed to be covered in scaly spots that itch like buggery pretty much all the time, except when they come into contact with another surface, at which time they actually sting and ache.
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
04-21-2013, 08:24 PM | #9252 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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You have legs all over your body!
Start a religion, I understand they're very lucrative.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
04-21-2013, 08:26 PM | #9253 |
trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
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haha...yeah...nah! lol not my thing
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
04-22-2013, 12:02 AM | #9254 |
LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 7,661
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Infini, the suits forget who does the work ,
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"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner |
04-22-2013, 01:37 AM | #9255 | |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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Quote:
that's my kind of woman
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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