Funny/Embarrassing things they say - Page 74

Gravdigr · 06-02-2018, 04:17 AM

Ya don't have to be parents to appreciate this, but, I thought you parents might appreciate this:

Quote:

I walked my daughter into her preschool classroom. She looked for her name tag and picked it up off of the little table. As I clipped it onto her dress, I noticed her teacher motioning me with her hand to come speak with her. Her face carried a smirk, one that I had seen before when I was a kid.

I was in trouble.

I stood up and immediately started sweating. "What'd I do?" I thought. She waved toward herself, inviting me to go with her away from the other parents. Then she began talking in a low whisper. "I have to tell you something," she said. "Oh, God. What did my daughter say?" I asked.

If her teacher quieted her for speaking the truth, it could have had a negative impact on her.

Scenarios of my worst parenting moments began flashing through my brain, including all of the possible things my daughter has heard me say that she could have mimicked. Which swear word did she repeat in front of the whole class?

"No, no. It's not bad," the teacher said as she started to tell me the story. "So, the kids were all sitting on the carpet, and we began talking about Spring and everything that comes with it. I began telling the children about baby birds hatching and things like that. Then all of a sudden, your daughter raised her hand and blurted out, 'Well, when I was a baby, I came from my mommy's vagina!'"

I had to shove both the laughter and pride down my throat. I paused, and then responded, "Well, she asked me once so I told her the truth." Her teacher said, "No, it was fine actually. Until the one little boy said, 'That's a hole, right?'"

Holy hell.

from PopSugar

Gravdigr · 06-08-2018, 02:19 PM

20 Times Kids Came Up With Their Own Brilliant Words For Common Items

There are some gems in there...

footfootfoot · 08-09-2018, 01:37 PM

The MM, the Inch, my GF, and I were swimming in a lake in Vermont a week ago and as we walked to the beach there was a sign that said:
WARNING
WATER IS INFESTED WITH EURASIAN WATER MILFOIL

We didn't see any obvious signs of infestation of anything, and we had no idea what Eurasian Water Milfoil was, but the word infestation seemed to imply insects or some sort of dangerous microscopic and dangerous critter.

We're trying to figure out what it might be, milfoil meaning many leaves, but we didn't see any plant life to speak of in the clear lake water.

ME: What the hell is Eurasian Milfoil?
Inch: It's probably not a type of oil.

glatt · 08-09-2018, 01:42 PM

GF, eh? No wonder you don't come around here no more.

Undertoad · 08-09-2018, 02:08 PM

all busy gettin' some MILF oil

Clodfobble · 08-09-2018, 02:49 PM

I'd bet money she's Eurasian, too!

Happy Monkey · 08-09-2018, 02:53 PM

Useless sign. It ought to have been a sign saying to clean any boats (or anything else that might collect plant matter) thoroughly before taking them to other lakes, so it doesn't get transplanted there as well.

Gravdigr · 08-09-2018, 03:36 PM

Hiya Feets!!! How's things?

Milf oil...That is priceless.

footfootfoot · 08-09-2018, 07:54 PM

Hi everybody!

I will come back with an update soon, the Cliff's notes version is things are good, have been dating a woman I met on acceptable cherub, she lives about an hour away and is a real sweetheart from the midwest, transplanted to VT.

She has a fantastic sense of humor and we laugh a lot. Making up for lost time in that and other departments.

The kids are getting older, taller, smarter all the time.

It seems like only the other day when I was searching for parenting advice for my newborn and one of the top hits was:
Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

orthodoc · 08-09-2018, 08:58 PM

Hi, foot!

xoxoxoBruce · 08-09-2018, 09:03 PM

Whoa, whoa, whoa, newborn?

captainhook455 · 08-09-2018, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

The MM, the Inch, my GF, and I were swimming in a lake in Vermont a week ago and as we walked to the beach there was a sign that said:
WARNING
WATER IS INFESTED WITH EURASIAN WATER MILFOIL

We didn't see any obvious signs of infestation of anything, and we had no idea what Eurasian Water Milfoil was, but the word infestation seemed to imply insects or some sort of dangerous microscopic and dangerous critter.

We're trying to figure out what it might be, milfoil meaning many leaves, but we didn't see any plant life to speak of in the clear lake water.

ME: What the hell is Eurasian Milfoil?
Inch: It's probably not a type of oil.

Its Ok to swim there as long as your ears don't get submerged and don't pee in the water as they swim up your urethral canal.

Clodfobble · 08-09-2018, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Whoa, whoa, whoa, newborn?

He said "seems like just the other day," as in, that was what brought him to the cellar all those years ago, when the inch was a newborn.

Glad you're doing well, foot! This new GF believes we're real people, right?

Gravdigr · 08-10-2018, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

This new GF believes we're real people, right?

I'm still not sure.

footfootfoot · 08-11-2018, 04:25 PM

So far she hasn't doubted your existence.

I even told her my handle so she could research the unvarnished me before we started dating. It's been a little longer than a year that we've been going out. I guess what she read didn't scare her off.

06-08-2018, 02:19 PM	#1097
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	20 Times Kids Came Up With Their Own Brilliant Words For Common Items There are some gems in there... __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

08-09-2018, 01:37 PM	#1098
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	The MM, the Inch, my GF, and I were swimming in a lake in Vermont a week ago and as we walked to the beach there was a sign that said: WARNING WATER IS INFESTED WITH EURASIAN WATER MILFOIL We didn't see any obvious signs of infestation of anything, and we had no idea what Eurasian Water Milfoil was, but the word infestation seemed to imply insects or some sort of dangerous microscopic and dangerous critter. We're trying to figure out what it might be, milfoil meaning many leaves, but we didn't see any plant life to speak of in the clear lake water. ME: What the hell is Eurasian Milfoil? Inch: It's probably not a type of oil. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

08-09-2018, 02:49 PM	#1101
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I'd bet money she's Eurasian, too! __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

08-09-2018, 02:53 PM	#1102
Happy Monkey I think this line's mostly filler. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: DC Posts: 13,575	Useless sign. It ought to have been a sign saying to clean any boats (or anything else that might collect plant matter) thoroughly before taking them to other lakes, so it doesn't get transplanted there as well. __________________ _________________ \|...............\| We live in the nick of times. \| Len 17, Wid 3 \| \|_______________\| [pics]

08-09-2018, 03:36 PM	#1103
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Hiya Feets!!! How's things? Milf oil...That is priceless. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

08-09-2018, 01:42 PM	#1099
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	GF, eh? No wonder you don't come around here no more.

08-09-2018, 02:08 PM	#1100
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	all busy gettin' some MILF oil

08-09-2018, 07:54 PM	#1104
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Hi everybody! I will come back with an update soon, the Cliff's notes version is things are good, have been dating a woman I met on acceptable cherub, she lives about an hour away and is a real sweetheart from the midwest, transplanted to VT. She has a fantastic sense of humor and we laugh a lot. Making up for lost time in that and other departments. The kids are getting older, taller, smarter all the time. It seems like only the other day when I was searching for parenting advice for my newborn and one of the top hits was: *Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up* __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

08-09-2018, 08:58 PM	#1105
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	Hi, foot! __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

08-09-2018, 09:03 PM	#1106
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Whoa, whoa, whoa, newborn? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

08-11-2018, 04:25 PM	#1110
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	So far she hasn't doubted your existence. I even told her my handle so she could research the unvarnished me before we started dating. It's been a little longer than a year that we've been going out. I guess what she read didn't scare her off. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

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