Ass Wiping! Do you sit or stand? - Page 2

Clodfobble · 07-13-2004, 09:27 AM

Ugh. My husband and I are going through this now with our daughter. Because her legs still aren't long enough to touch the floor when she's sitting on the toilet, she can't balance on just one hand and wipe while sitting. So she stands, which leads to every damn pair of underwear having skid marks on it. We have tried and tried to get her to bend over a little and wipe properly, but she won't unless we're there watching her every time.

glatt · 07-13-2004, 09:44 AM

We went through the same thing with our daughter, who just turned 5. It took her a while, but she finally got the hang of it.

Isn't it amazing how becoming a parent changes your perception of what "gross" is? You learn that just about anything can be washed off your hands, and you go on living.

LabRat · 07-13-2004, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

just about anything can be washed off your hands, and you go on living.

Aha! been looking for a new sig line, thanks

Cyber Wolf · 07-13-2004, 11:51 AM

Remember, ladies: Front to back! More hygenic! Helps keep some things out of places where some things shouldn't be!

limey · 07-13-2004, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyber Wolf

Remember, ladies: Front to back! More hygenic! Helps keep some things out of places where some things shouldn't be!

And how do you do that neatly sitting down? With a bad back, for example? (I'm a stander upper).

glatt · 07-13-2004, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LabRat

Aha! been looking for a new sig line, thanks

Glad to help.

lumberjim · 07-13-2004, 02:50 PM

I'm sure I'll take a beating for this, but what the fuck, why not. what's one more beating

how about really really big fat people. how do they manage? i'm talking seriously big here, like the physics won't work......as in, their arm won't reach around their hip. do they have to get help? use a short stick? wrap the toilet brush in TP? sorry about the visual, but this actually came up in conversation the other day, and we were all stumped.

i mean like Gilbert Grape's mom.

glatt · 07-13-2004, 03:08 PM

I remember hearing somewhere that people of that size use a sponge on a stick to wash themselves in general. That visual stuck with me. I imagine they use something similar to wipe.

dar512 · 07-13-2004, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

I'm sure I'll take a beating for this, but what the fuck, why not. what's one more beating

how about really really big fat people. how do they manage? i'm talking seriously big here, like the physics won't work......as in, their arm won't reach around their hip. do they have to get help? use a short stick? wrap the toilet brush in TP? sorry about the visual, but this actually came up in conversation the other day, and we were all stumped.

i mean like Gilbert Grape's mom.

Ok. I am chuckling while I write this. But you have waaaay too much free time my friend.

And by the way...... eww.

lumberjim · 07-13-2004, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512

Ok. I am chuckling while I write this. But you have waaaay too much free time my friend.

And by the way...... eww.

As long as I make at least ONE of you folks laugh a day, it's time well spent. bonus when you tell me about it. and, yes...eww is right.

and, as it's come up, my free time is going to be much less at work now. they moved my assistant into the sales department yesterday, so I'll have more clerical work to do.

hot_pastrami · 07-13-2004, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

how about really really big fat people. how do they manage?

I used to work with a guy a few jobs ago... about the nicest guy you'd ever meet, but he was monstrously fat. On one occassion I entered the restrooms just as he was leaving, and found an odor lurking inside which made my lunch roll over in its grave. This triggered a line of thought similar to your question... how can a guy that big manage the cleanup process? None of the feasible theories were pleasanat ones, and frankly, the most logical guess involved "leaving the Klingons on the ship's stern" and possibly lining the shorts with TP until bathtime.

But you know what they say about curiosity. I didn't allow my mind to ponder the matter further.

limey · 07-14-2004, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

I'm sure I'll take a beating for this, but what the fuck, why not. what's one more beating

how about [snip ...] like [when] the physics won't work

This reminds me of a guy I used to see in the canteen of the office building I used to work in in Moscow. He had what in UK would be referred to as 'thalidomide' arms (i.e. they were significantly shortened. so that his hands were at elbow distance from his shoulders, because his mother had taken said drug during pregnancy). How did he take a leak in a public urinal? Did someone hold it for him? I suppose he just sat down, come to think of it... But then, how did he, erm, well,

satisfy himself

?

PS Edited to add this PS, God, I can't believe I've just posted this

Sun_Sparkz · 07-13-2004, 08:51 PM

Yeah i guess it all depends on how you were taught as a child. if yuo were taught one way, you never really consider doing it any other way.

I am a stander. If i had children with someone who was a sitter, i guess potty training would be a little confusing for the tikes, but i can not handle putting my hand inside the bowl. yuck! as for cheek sqish, there is no such thing, well..i for one dont have that problem. but perhaps if you were o/weight maybe i'm not sure.

PUBLIC TIOLETS: i rarely use them. i have trained myself only to go at home (mornings and nights, even peeing) i wont even go at work unless i'm bout to wet myself and there even we have 5 star bathrooms. It's just what other peole do there is gross! i cant handle the smell/ look/ confined space/ hiding germs.

Carbonated_Brains · 07-14-2004, 12:27 AM

Lately I've been using the triple-sow-cow position.

Sun_Sparkz · 07-14-2004, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carbonated_Brains

Lately I've been using the triple-sow-cow position.

lots of milk?

07-13-2004, 11:51 AM	#4
Cyber Wolf As stable as a ring of PU-239 Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: On a huge rock covered in water, highly advanced moss and 7 billion parasites Posts: 1,264	Remember, ladies: Front to back! More hygenic! Helps keep some things out of places where some things shouldn't be! __________________ "I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then getting' upset 'cos they act like people." ~Adam Young, Good Omens "I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out." ~Adam Young, Good Omens

07-13-2004, 02:50 PM	#7
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I'm sure I'll take a beating for this, but what the fuck, why not. what's one more beating how about really really big fat people. how do they manage? i'm talking seriously big here, like the physics won't work......as in, their arm won't reach around their hip. do they have to get help? use a short stick? wrap the toilet brush in TP? sorry about the visual, but this actually came up in conversation the other day, and we were all stumped. i mean like Gilbert Grape's mom. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-13-2004, 08:51 PM	#13
Sun_Sparkz Has Body Temperature Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I come from a land downunder Posts: 1,105	Yeah i guess it all depends on how you were taught as a child. if yuo were taught one way, you never really consider doing it any other way. I am a stander. If i had children with someone who was a sitter, i guess potty training would be a little confusing for the tikes, but i can not handle putting my hand inside the bowl. yuck! as for cheek sqish, there is no such thing, well..i for one dont have that problem. but perhaps if you were o/weight maybe i'm not sure. PUBLIC TIOLETS: i rarely use them. i have trained myself only to go at home (mornings and nights, even peeing) i wont even go at work unless i'm bout to wet myself and there even we have 5 star bathrooms. It's just what other peole do there is gross! i cant handle the smell/ look/ confined space/ hiding germs. __________________ We'll never be as young as we are right now

07-13-2004, 09:27 AM	#1
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Ugh. My husband and I are going through this now with our daughter. Because her legs still aren't long enough to touch the floor when she's sitting on the toilet, she can't balance on just one hand and wipe while sitting. So she stands, which leads to every damn pair of underwear having skid marks on it. We have tried and tried to get her to bend over a little and wipe properly, but she won't unless we're there watching her every time.

07-13-2004, 09:44 AM	#2
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	We went through the same thing with our daughter, who just turned 5. It took her a while, but she finally got the hang of it. Isn't it amazing how becoming a parent changes your perception of what "gross" is? You learn that just about anything can be washed off your hands, and you go on living.

07-13-2004, 03:08 PM	#8
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I remember hearing somewhere that people of that size use a sponge on a stick to wash themselves in general. That visual stuck with me. I imagine they use something similar to wipe.

07-14-2004, 12:27 AM	#14
Carbonated_Brains Does it show up here when I type? Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Between the smoky layers of a prosciutto sandwich! Posts: 355	Lately I've been using the triple-sow-cow position.

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