Do guys really care about a girls sexual history?

[Sundae]

bmwmcaw - if you're still here and posting on different topics in a couple of weeks time I might bother taking your posts seriously and refuting them.

Too sleepy this afternoon to be baited.

One more tip-bit. Something women never seem to get.

Women will always know who's baby there having. Men will never truly know. Modern DNA testing aside (and see how well thats recieved upon request) men for thousands of years don't want to raise another mans child.

This is why one of the reasons being a slut has for thousands of years had such negitive social impact.

[yesman065]

Well I finally got my coffee! I think there is some merit to that which bmw speaks in that women are more in control of whether or not a sexual encounter occurs, but thats about where it ends. The fact that on average a woman has "x number of partners at age whatever" is a completely ficticious number. There are too any differences in our societies and cultures to paint all women, or men for that matter, with such a broad brush. He corroborates his information with an article/poll from cosmo. To me that is a much more telling issue. Dude, what the hell are you doing reading or even believing in cosmo????????? Get a clue and simply respect that we are all individuals with our own quirks pasts and beliefs.

Yesman,

I never said the numbers are written in stone. Cosmo has the largest circulation of any female oriented magazine. For women, written by women, about women. Would it have been more credible if it came from Maxim Magazine? What do your think Sex In The City story line was all about...rationalizing promiscuity in women.

My gal-pal has it lying around her place and when in the reading room one reads.


Got to go and makes some trades...CYA all later.

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by bmwmcaw

Yesman,

I never said the numbers are written in stone. Cosmo has the largest circulation of any female oriented magazine. For women, written by women, about women. Would it have been more credible if it came from Maxim Magazine? What do your think Sex In The City story line was all about...rationalizing promiscuity in women.

My gal-pal has it lying around her place and when in the reading room one reads.


Got to go and makes some trades...CYA all later.

I think porn mags/movies were started for the use of men...I might be wrong but I doubt it. Porn shows greater promiscuity in men then it does in women...yes in recent years (off and on since about the 20s in the US) there has been an increase in obvious female promiscuity, but that is just women execising a freedom they have been historically denied. Men have always been encouraged to "sleep around" which does have a biological bases since a woman can only be pregnant once every 11-12 months (lets give 'em a bit of a break) and is only to have so many before it wears her out. Men on the other hand can father an unfathomanble amount of children in their lifetime...even continuing into the 80s and 90s...women normally give out (if they've taken it easy) around 50.
So although I don't hold with promiscuity, I do support women in the right to share equal blame with men for their promiscuity...equal opprotunity :-P.

[yesman065]

Neither Cosmo nor Sex in the City would I refer to as credible sources. I have been in the print media for 15 years and know all too well the inner workings of mags. As far as their "data" I find it rather humorous that anyone would base anything on what they say. I equate it to that of the talking heads and their misinformation on politics. Not many people of any credibility would answer the questions put forth by those "pollsters" anyway. I find it better to live treat each person as they are, not what a poll or survey tells me they are apparently like. Then again, thats just me. and I personally wouldn't fit into any category you could try to squeeze me into.

[footfootfoot]

male sluts are called satyrs.

Originally Posted by bmwmcaw

Women will always know who's baby there having. Men will never truly know. Modern DNA testing aside (and see how well thats recieved upon request) men for thousands of years don't want to raise another mans child.

The reason babies look like their fathers is so the fathers don't eat them. True.

[lumberjim]

tha'ss an odd unit uv mayzure, to be sure. ay hoop i's no' an eendication uv 'is girth, lass. brings eemages uv troween a 'hot doog douwn a 'allway, it does.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I don't think bmwmcaw is yanking anyones chain. Although I think he makes some vadid points, experience, personal and observed, tells me other points are way off base.
Keep in mind his post was not a scientific disertation, just an opinion...the world acording to bmwmcaw.

I think if he truely believes what he posted, there are others, at least in his peer group, that feel the same way. It's evidently another valid scenario to put in your data bank of possibilities to be considered, when you're pondering....... "what the hell was that guy thinking".

[morethanpretty]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

tha'ss an odd unit uv mayzure, to be sure. ay hoop i's no' an eendication uv 'is girth, lass. brings eemages uv troween a 'hot doog douwn a 'allway, it does.

lol its doesnt' even get close to the girth... actually it was really late when I posted that for some odd reason it seemed like pez sticks would make a good measurement unit :-) I really have never measured...doesn't seem relevant.

[Sundae]

Bruce - I do honestly try to take other people's opinions on board. But these are rather... unusual opinions for this time and place (especially if he has read some of the other threads in Relationships) and they are put across quite forcefully.

It is hard not to react when someone tells you that women who have had more than one partner (aka sluts) have effectively damaged their own ability to form emotional bonds. I just don't see how someone could have come to that conclusion.

If you sleep with every man that shows a passing interest, your promiscuity is a symptom of your inability to have a relationship and possible self esteem issues. It is not the cause.

Imagine if you will your future mate being materially and family wise great but as a lover poor. You will fantasies about some past lover and in doing so cheapen your bond with your current mate. Essentially, betraying them... snip

I not saying that millions of promiscuous men and women can't eke out a relationship and marriage but look underneath and you will find bad relationships and broken families.

This is effectively backdated cheating. I believe that cheating in a relationship can change the dynamics, rocking it to its core so that the majority probably do not survive it. But the idea that I've spoiled myself for apples by eating an orange just doesn't make logical sense to me.

I think every women who could choose (all things being equal) between a man that is a virgin and one that’s sleep around would rather take the virgin. Its called emotional investment.

Oh come on! Maybe if you're in your first relationship and it's your first time. Definitely if you have strong religious or moral beliefs. But every woman? I'm afraid the NHS is a hotbed of sluts as a straw poll of my colleagues revealed only one who actually considered it. And even she decided it wouldn't make a difference to her, rather than replying "One virgin, extra large, wrapped to go please"

I’ll tell you from my own experience. I can tell if a girl has sleep around. The way she looks at you. The way she talks to you.

Like the word "slut" this is an inflammatory statement. At a rough guess, most of the men I am in contact with at work and socially have slept with more than one woman. And?

Most guys on the “prowl” can spot a slut in a bar from a mile away.

Again. Men go on the prowl, women are sluts. He probably thinks he can smell their ripe pussies as well.

You will never convince me that being a slut doesn’t carry over into any relationship they have.

I could shrug & give up. But it bugs me by being SO irrational if this is not a troll.
There was an interview in the newspaper this morning with Gary Barlow (boy band member, may not be known in the US). He estimated he slept with over 200 women while he was living the popstar lifestyle. He is married now, has been for 7 years and is happy and settled. He managed to subdue his inner slut somehow I guess.

Well, that's off my chest anyway. I disagree with most of bmwmcaw is saying on this topic and part of me will believe it is chain yanking until I see proof otherwise.

I'm a suspicious slut today

[xoxoxoBruce]

Your post is proof that he indeed did yank your chain, but I doubt that was his specific intent. I tend to believe his opinion is real because I've heard it, with some variation, many times before. Moreso when I was that age (in the '60s) than later, but my contact with that generation is somewhat limited....at least with guys.
That said, Hearing it from older guys doesn't surprise me, however, I'm a little surprised to hear it from a young guy. It makes me wonder if it is flourishing?

Your rebuttal is reasonable and well thought out, but it makes me believe you're a slut and should give me directions to your house immediately.

[Griff]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

If you sleep with every man that shows a passing interest, your promiscuity is a symptom of your inability to have a relationship and possible self esteem issues. It is not the cause.

This brings us back to the original question. I sometimes used my (obviously limited) knowlege of sexual history to screen potential partners because I could see the symptom, if not the underlying problem. Dating the town bicycle was never an option for me, since I wasn't a guy slut. Everyone has qualities they look for in their loves, a reasonably temperant approach to sexuality is one for many of us. Don't be insulted that people want different things, many folks want sex to be free of comittment and easily aquired but that doesn't fly for some of us so just cross us off your list of suitors. Some guys care and some guys don't, you decide which guys you want to date.

[yesman065]

Thanks Sunday girl - you made a very concise cogent argument - much better than I. Guess I can recognize greatness better than I can create it.

[Trilby]

Sundae, as usual, is right on.

Women with X number partners=slut
Men looking for poon='on the prowl'--after all, boys will be boys, eh? The moral high road MUST be taken by the women as men are incapable of controlling themselves!

Women who fool around? A pox upon them! And may their dirty, dirty girl parts fall off.

Now. Shall we talk about all the sluts who got raped 'coz they "asked for it"-? (and, you know they liked it. Secretly, they did.)