Tasteless Jokes - Page 14

06-28-2003, 05:35 PM

Hehehehehe. Those are all pretty good.

Tobiasly · 06-29-2003, 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dave
Hehehehehe. Those are all pretty good.

Well, except for the Anthrax one. The anthrax didn't happen for quite a while longer. Geez, get your facts straight!

06-29-2003, 08:36 AM

Yeh, like a month. Yeesh.

tonksy · 11-15-2003, 11:20 AM

what do a penguin and JFK jr have in common?

both cute as hell and neither of them can fly.

lumberjim · 11-15-2003, 01:28 PM

Timmy and his grandfather went fishing one day.
about a half an hour in, grandpa takes out a beer and starts to drink it. "hey grandpa, can i have a sip of your beer?", timmy says. Grandpa says," well let me ask you a question: can you touch your asshole with the tip of your penis?" Timmy is appalled. " no! I'm only 10 yrs old!" grandpa says, " well until you can, no beer"
about a half an hour later, grandpa lights a cigar. Same question by timmy, same answer.

yet another half hour later TIMMY gets out a bag of oreos and stars to eat them. Grandpa says," hey timmy, let me have one of those cookies>" Timmy says," let me ask you a question: can you touch your asshle with the tip of your penis?" Grandpa gets a proud look on his face and says,"yes i can!"

timmy: " Good. go fuck yourself, these are MY oreos!"

tonksy · 11-15-2003, 02:48 PM

lol. consider that one stolen...but i won't take credit.

Beestie · 11-15-2003, 09:01 PM

What'd the leper say to the prostitute?

"Keep the tip."

nyuk, nyuk, nyuk

xoxoxoBruce · 11-20-2003, 10:53 PM

The Reverend Jesse Jackson was holding a press conference
in the appliance department of a Sears store in Chicago. He
was there to protest the fact that all the washing machines
were white. The clerk was upset because Jesse was getting
louder and frightening customers away. So, he called the store
manager who said: "What's the problem here Reverend?"

Jesse continued to bemoan that all the washing machines were white.

The manager remarked, "Well Reverend, while it's true that all the machines
are white, if you open the lids you will see that all the agitators are black."

breakingnews · 11-20-2003, 11:52 PM

What's Michael Jackson's favorite college?

"Bring 'em" Young University

hahahaha.

September · 11-21-2003, 05:04 PM

What's black and blue and hates sex?

the five year old in the trunk of my car.

wolf · 11-22-2003, 01:56 AM

The Teacher, Ms. Pelzner, was very curious about how each of her
students celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me
Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?" she asked.
Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Pelzner, me and my twelve
brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we
come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up
our stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to
come with all our toys."

"Very nice Patrick," she said. "Now Jimmy Brown what do you do at
Christmas?"

"Well, Ms. Pelzner, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad
and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and
milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep,
waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents. "

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave
him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do
at Christmas?"

Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from
the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy
factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin
to sing 'What a friend we have in Jesus.' Then we all go to the Bahamas."

Elspode · 11-22-2003, 07:14 AM

I am committing this one to memory, Wolf. Hysterical.

SlickDrifter · 04-09-2005, 12:36 PM

A woman was lying in her hospital bed recuperating after an intense
12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy.

Moments later the hospital room door opened, and in walked
the delivery nurse carrying the baby boy ....

SUDDENLY the nurse THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up
against the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times
and THROWS it against the wall....

Well, just bewildered, the woman gives out a loud SHREEEK and
hollers MY GOD ..... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY ??????

The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says...
He was ALREADY DEAD

OR>

SlickDrifter · 04-09-2005, 12:37 PM

A woman is lying in her hospital bed after an intense
12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy.

When the baby is born, the nurse looks at the mother and says
with a sad voice I am sorry, but your baby is stillborn.

MAD with sorrow the mother THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up
against the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times
and THROWS it against the wall....

The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says...
He wasn't DEAD

monicakat · 04-09-2005, 07:18 PM

Q: Why did the black guy carry a peice of shit in his wallet?

A: Identification

11-15-2003, 11:20 AM	#4
tonksy 100:10100 Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: louisiana Posts: 96	what do a penguin and JFK jr have in common? both cute as hell and neither of them can fly. __________________ ...with all of our running and all of our cunning, if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane...

11-15-2003, 01:28 PM	#5
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Timmy and his grandfather went fishing one day. about a half an hour in, grandpa takes out a beer and starts to drink it. "hey grandpa, can i have a sip of your beer?", timmy says. Grandpa says," well let me ask you a question: can you touch your asshole with the tip of your penis?" Timmy is appalled. " no! I'm only 10 yrs old!" grandpa says, " well until you can, no beer" about a half an hour later, grandpa lights a cigar. Same question by timmy, same answer. yet another half hour later TIMMY gets out a bag of oreos and stars to eat them. Grandpa says," hey timmy, let me have one of those cookies>" Timmy says," let me ask you a question: can you touch your asshle with the tip of your penis?" Grandpa gets a proud look on his face and says,"yes i can!" timmy: " Good. go fuck yourself, these are MY oreos!" __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan Last edited by lumberjim; 11-15-2003 at 01:31 PM.

11-15-2003, 02:48 PM	#6
tonksy 100:10100 Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: louisiana Posts: 96	lol. consider that one stolen...but i won't take credit. __________________ ...with all of our running and all of our cunning, if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane...

11-15-2003, 09:01 PM	#7
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	What'd the leper say to the prostitute? "Keep the tip." nyuk, nyuk, nyuk __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

11-20-2003, 10:53 PM	#8
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	The Reverend Jesse Jackson was holding a press conference in the appliance department of a Sears store in Chicago. He was there to protest the fact that all the washing machines were white. The clerk was upset because Jesse was getting louder and frightening customers away. So, he called the store manager who said: "What's the problem here Reverend?" Jesse continued to bemoan that all the washing machines were white. The manager remarked, "Well Reverend, while it's true that all the machines are white, if you open the lids you will see that all the agitators are black." __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

06-28-2003, 05:35 PM	#1
dave Guest Posts: n/a	Hehehehehe. Those are all pretty good.

06-29-2003, 08:36 AM	#3
dave Guest Posts: n/a	Yeh, like a month. Yeesh.

11-20-2003, 11:52 PM	#9
breakingnews Q_Q Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 995	What's Michael Jackson's favorite college? "Bring 'em" Young University hahahaha.

11-21-2003, 05:04 PM	#10
September trigonomic identity Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: around town, baby Posts: 46	What's black and blue and hates sex? the five year old in the trunk of my car.

11-22-2003, 01:56 AM	#11
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	The Teacher, Ms. Pelzner, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?" she asked. Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Pelzner, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys." "Very nice Patrick," she said. "Now Jimmy Brown what do you do at Christmas?" "Well, Ms. Pelzner, me and my sister also go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents. " Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?" Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to sing 'What a friend we have in Jesus.' Then we all go to the Bahamas." __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

11-22-2003, 07:14 AM	#12
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I am committing this one to memory, Wolf. Hysterical. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

04-09-2005, 12:36 PM	#13
SlickDrifter Person Who Has Posted Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 2	A woman was lying in her hospital bed recuperating after an intense 12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy. Moments later the hospital room door opened, and in walked the delivery nurse carrying the baby boy .... SUDDENLY the nurse THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up against the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times and THROWS it against the wall.... Well, just bewildered, the woman gives out a loud SHREEEK and hollers MY GOD ..... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY ?????? The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says... He was ALREADY DEAD OR>

04-09-2005, 12:37 PM	#14
SlickDrifter Person Who Has Posted Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 2	A woman is lying in her hospital bed after an intense 12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy. When the baby is born, the nurse looks at the mother and says with a sad voice I am sorry, but your baby is stillborn. MAD with sorrow the mother THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up against the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times and THROWS it against the wall.... The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says... He wasn't DEAD

04-09-2005, 07:18 PM	#15
monicakat Homicidal Terrahawk Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Wall drug Posts: 75	Q: Why did the black guy carry a peice of shit in his wallet? A: Identification __________________ No entertainment is so cheap as reading, nor any pleasure so lasting. -Mary Wortley Montagu

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)