Things you absolutly DON'T want for Christmas

[Cicero]

Someone at work pointed at her fruitcake. It was homemade. She was standing right next to me.......I was obligated to take a piece and bite into it. She then began her explanation about how it was different than she usually makes it. There is nothing worse in my world than a green cherry. I have nothing more to say than.....it was worse than I had ever imagined. Please, be a friend....do not make people obligated to eat your fruitcake right in front of you. This is gross and in very poor taste. And I should know.

[Pie]

No more cheese logs, no more summer sausage!

[wolf]

Cheese logs are typically an insult to cheese, but that Hickory Farms beef stick is some good, high fat eatin'.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by wolf

Cheese logs are typically an insult to cheese, but that Hickory Farms beef stick is some good, high fat eatin'.

Do they still have Hickory Farms stores? That's so 1982. I remember those gift boxes with the different flavors of processed "cheese" wedges wrapped in foil.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by glatt

Do they still have Hickory Farms stores? That's so 1982. I remember those gift boxes with the different flavors of processed "cheese" wedges wrapped in foil.

No more stores, although there was one in the mall near my house up through the mid-80s. The kiosks appear every November in the middle of the malls, though, with the exact same cheese and beef stick assortments that they've sold forever. I often believe that they were all manufactured at the same time, and stored in a warehouse and released in small batches once a year. The kiosks disappear without a trace over Christmas Day, like the curio shops in short stories which sell monkey's paws and tarnished lamps which beg to be shined and wonders of all kinds all of which come with a price, rather than just for one.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by wolf

No more stores, although there was one in the mall near my house up through the mid-80s. The kiosks appear every November in the middle of the malls, though, with the exact same cheese and beef stick assortments that they've sold forever. I often believe that they were all manufactured at the same time, and stored in a warehouse and released in small batches once a year. The kiosks disappear without a trace over Christmas Day, like the curio shops in short stories which sell monkey's paws and tarnished lamps which beg to be shined and wonders of all kinds all of which come with a price, rather than just for one.

there's one in the exton mall. want me to send you anything?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by wolf

The kiosks appear every November in the middle of the malls, though,

I read the township gets $5,000 for a permit to put up a kiosk in Granite Run Mall.

[limey]

Originally Posted by wolf

Cheese logs are typically an insult to cheese, but that Hickory Farms beef stick is some good, high fat eatin'.

Misread the above as "good, high fartin' eatin' " .

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by wolf

Cheese logs are typically an insult to cheese, but that Hickory Farms beef stick is some good, high fat eatin'.

There was a girl in college with the last name "Hunger." At Christmas one year the frat boys got her boyfriend a big old beef stick to (wait for it) "satisfy your Hunger."

That's not cheese... oh man!

Something is wrong with me... every time I see a cheese long I think "that would hurt".

[SteveDallas]

I personally love the beef stick, as well the various cheese logs. By the way, I got all my relatives Hickory Farms gift folios this year--they can choose from the mega-gift box of the above, or from slightly more upscale food items if they wish. I guess you can all be glad you're not related to me.

Yaaaayyyyy.... I got visual!

[Elspode]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061220/...ping_peasant_1

Wolf, of course, will want to show us her moose that poops M&M's, though. Bet you didn't know it had roots in tradition, didja, Wolf?

BARCELONA, Spain - The Virgin Mary. The three kings. A few wayward sheep. These are the figures one expects to find in a traditional Christmas nativity scene. Not a smartly dressed peasant squatting behind a rock with his rear-end exposed.

Yet statuettes of "El Caganer," or the great defecator in the Catalan language, can be found in nativity scenes, and increasingly on the mantelpieces of collectors, throughout Spain's northeastern Catalonia region, where for centuries symbols of defecation have played an important role in Christmas festivities.

During the holiday season, pastry shops around Catalonia sell sweets shaped like feces, and on Christmas Eve Catalan children beat a hollow log, called the tio, packed with holiday gifts, singing a song that urges it to defecate presents out the other end.

These traditions, in the case of the caganer dating back as far as the 17th century, come from an agricultural society where defecation was associated with fertility and health.

While the traditional caganer is a red-capped peasant, more modern renditions have gained popularity in recent years.

[Happy Monkey]

In Alaska there are tchotchkes made out of moose poops year round in every single gift shop.