When Families Collide - Page 2

Cloud · 02-11-2007, 04:12 PM

I can't comment on the competitive sports thing, because that's about my least favorite activity, but I do think you're on the right track with the family thing. If you communicate with your daughter about your reservations about the other family, without demonizing them, she can arm herself against the problems. Not foolproof, of course, but knowledge is power.

Griff · 02-25-2007, 06:42 AM

I missed this when you posted it Cloud. You are right on the money about the demonization thing.

Griff · 03-05-2007, 08:44 PM

Father-in-law took lil'Pete to practice tonight. Over the weekend she really kicked butt at an open (adult mixed) tournament. She managed a 3rd place out of 22 competitors. lil'Pete beat the woman who knocked the boy out of the tourney. So F-i-L hears this at practice from Dad, "If it wasn't for that bad director *the boy* would have gotten 2nd place."

She fenced her butt off all day, didn't whine at all when calls went the other way and this is what she gets. Good thing she puts no stock in their words.

monster · 03-06-2007, 07:05 AM

But, it's like everything else.... if there weren't bad sportsmen out there, there'd be no good sportsmanship either.

Well done lil'Pete.

At least in swimming (my kids' sport) almost all calls are objective, so it's harder for pushy parents to be bad sports without making it obvious to all present that they're complete eejits. Harder, but not impossible.

Griff · 03-06-2007, 07:31 AM

Ha! Where there is a will there is a way.

monster · 03-24-2007, 06:39 PM

So now it's time for my bad sporting families story ...in academic games no less!

We went to the award ceremony for the team to pick up the innumerable trophies this afternoon. The (unpaid and extremely hard working) coach had sorted it out so that almost all kids got one of the team trophies to collect and keep. Once it got close to our bit, she dished out the award tickets for the kids who weren't there, so someone would collect it on their behalf (the ticket checks that the right award is being given to the right team and pre-designates who will actually accept the trophy for the team, although all go up on stage)

One kid in my daughter's sub-team of 5 arrived late. So his ticket was gone. Not to worry said the coach, you're in time ot go up on stage and we'll sort the rest out later. Hebe's team went up for the second out of three times -Hebe's turn to take the award -he pushed her out of the way and snatched it. They came back to their seats, he didn't want to give it up so we could do a team photo. It was explained (to him and his mom) that this is the award the coach had designated for Hebe and it was given back to her. Kid moaning it's not fair... The way it works was explained again, kid appears mollified... (The coach decided who got which trophy by the strong suits of each kid. The second award was in one of Hebe's skills -she basically won that trophy for the team by winning all of her games -it was a good and appropriate call by the coach.)

The mini-team collected their third award which was to be his to keep. Not good enough. He wants the one he collected (snatched). End of the show, the kid started screaming and crying, so his mother starts yelling at the coach (in front of all the other kids and families) that he should be allowed to keep HIS award which he collected. Coach is forced to ask mother to leave with kid and his trophy.

The kid is a 5th grader. The only one there acting like a 5th grader was his mom.

It was unbelievable. We actually missed the shouting match, or I would have asked Hebe if she'd've been happy to swap -and I'm sure she would - she truly is a good sport and for her it's all about being on a team and taking part (I have no idea where she got that from -we preach it all the time, but never expect them to actually take it to heart) She wouldn't have even realized that the trophy he got to keep was the "better" one, in that is was the event that people consider the most important, the finale -the men's 100m of the Olympics, if you will.

I feel so bad for the coach. I cannot believe the (unpaid) time and effort she has put into this. She held practices on snow days and she's one of the board of directiors for the State organization, among many other organizing positions. She's suffered other abuse too, from pushy parents. Where do people get off treating anyone like that, let alone volunteers? Grrr. For sure, i am nominating her for a teacher of excellence award.

Griff · 03-25-2007, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

I feel so bad for the coach. I cannot believe the (unpaid) time and effort she has put into this.

Parents like that are a big reason why folks are reluctant to volunteer for stuff. I just volunteered to coach soccer... I will take none of this nonsense.

monster · 03-25-2007, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

Parents like that are a big reason why folks are reluctant to volunteer for stuff. I just volunteered to coach soccer... I will take none of this nonsense.

Soccer parents can be awful. Mind you, so can some of the coaches. Good luck.

After 5 years of coaching peewee soccer, I decided to take time off and just scream from the sidelines this year

I even had problems with some peewee parents -the kids are 3-5 years old, we play without goalies, we don't keep score and we celebrate every goal regardless of which net it went in and who scored. We try to keep approximately 5 kids on the field at one time, sometimes we have to carry them or run holding their hands, and I'd get parents saying things like "You need to play a 3:1:1 line up, they're weak in D and you're just not capitalizing on that".....

TheMercenary · 03-24-2007, 09:26 PM

Prissy parents piss me off. Someone should have bitch slapped her.

monster · 03-24-2007, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Prissy parents piss me off. Someone should have bitch slapped her.

I plan to...

02-11-2007, 04:12 PM	#1
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	I can't comment on the competitive sports thing, because that's about my least favorite activity, but I do think you're on the right track with the family thing. If you communicate with your daughter about your reservations about the other family, without demonizing them, she can arm herself against the problems. Not foolproof, of course, but knowledge is power. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

02-25-2007, 06:42 AM	#2
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I missed this when you posted it Cloud. You are right on the money about the demonization thing. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

03-05-2007, 08:44 PM	#3
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Father-in-law took lil'Pete to practice tonight. Over the weekend she really kicked butt at an open (adult mixed) tournament. She managed a 3rd place out of 22 competitors. lil'Pete beat the woman who knocked the boy out of the tourney. So F-i-L hears this at practice from Dad, "If it wasn't for that bad director the boy would have gotten 2nd place." She fenced her butt off all day, didn't whine at all when calls went the other way and this is what she gets. Good thing she puts no stock in their words. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

03-06-2007, 07:05 AM	#4
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	But, it's like everything else.... if there weren't bad sportsmen out there, there'd be no good sportsmanship either. Well done lil'Pete. At least in swimming (my kids' sport) almost all calls are objective, so it's harder for pushy parents to be bad sports without making it obvious to all present that they're complete eejits. Harder, but not impossible. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-06-2007, 07:31 AM	#5
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Ha! Where there is a will there is a way. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

03-24-2007, 06:39 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	So now it's time for my bad sporting families story ...in academic games no less! We went to the award ceremony for the team to pick up the innumerable trophies this afternoon. The (unpaid and extremely hard working) coach had sorted it out so that almost all kids got one of the team trophies to collect and keep. Once it got close to our bit, she dished out the award tickets for the kids who weren't there, so someone would collect it on their behalf (the ticket checks that the right award is being given to the right team and pre-designates who will actually accept the trophy for the team, although all go up on stage) One kid in my daughter's sub-team of 5 arrived late. So his ticket was gone. Not to worry said the coach, you're in time ot go up on stage and we'll sort the rest out later. Hebe's team went up for the second out of three times -Hebe's turn to take the award -he pushed her out of the way and snatched it. They came back to their seats, he didn't want to give it up so we could do a team photo. It was explained (to him and his mom) that this is the award the coach had designated for Hebe and it was given back to her. Kid moaning it's not fair... The way it works was explained again, kid appears mollified... (The coach decided who got which trophy by the strong suits of each kid. The second award was in one of Hebe's skills -she basically won that trophy for the team by winning all of her games -it was a good and appropriate call by the coach.) The mini-team collected their third award which was to be his to keep. Not good enough. He wants the one he collected (snatched). End of the show, the kid started screaming and crying, so his mother starts yelling at the coach (in front of all the other kids and families) that he should be allowed to keep HIS award which he collected. Coach is forced to ask mother to leave with kid and his trophy. The kid is a 5th grader. The only one there acting like a 5th grader was his mom. It was unbelievable. We actually missed the shouting match, or I would have asked Hebe if she'd've been happy to swap -and I'm sure she would - she truly is a good sport and for her it's all about being on a team and taking part (I have no idea where she got that from -we preach it all the time, but never expect them to actually take it to heart) She wouldn't have even realized that the trophy he got to keep was the "better" one, in that is was the event that people consider the most important, the finale -the men's 100m of the Olympics, if you will. I feel so bad for the coach. I cannot believe the (unpaid) time and effort she has put into this. She held practices on snow days and she's one of the board of directiors for the State organization, among many other organizing positions. She's suffered other abuse too, from pushy parents. Where do people get off treating anyone like that, let alone volunteers? Grrr. For sure, i am nominating her for a teacher of excellence award. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

03-24-2007, 09:26 PM	#9
TheMercenary “Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo” Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Savannah, Georgia Posts: 21,393	Prissy parents piss me off. Someone should have bitch slapped her. __________________ Anyone but the this most fuked up President in History in 2012!

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