A Good Old Fashoned Bookburning

Number 2 Pencil · 09-10-2008, 10:59 AM

I read Sphere by Michael Crichton years ago, and when I finished it, my first thought was, "I genuinly HATE this book. This was so bad I would burn it." That one idea has brought up in me- a true lover of ideas and words- a strange hobby. I classify bad books by whether or not I should burn them. Many books have been redeemed by one stray idea or two, and I am proud to say that my 'books that deserve burning' list is very, very short.

I loves to read, and I love knowledge in all its forms - even in forms that I disagree with. Bookburning to me is a kind of blasphemy that really should be restricted to the most vile of books, and, of course I would argue that even those really bad books merit existence if only for the study of really bad ideas.

But I have this fantasy. I would hold a BBQ and invite all my friends over for a good old fashioned bookburning. They would bring textbooks they hated, really bad novels, a Chick tract or two- any book full of vile and unredeemable content. The one requirement was that each bookburning needed to be justified in some extremely meaningful (and/or possibly personal) way. Of course, I don't mean burn every copy of the book, some should be preserved somewhere for those that know what they are getting into, but really if the book is bad enough, no one should want to ever bother wasting their time reading it.

So, ladies and gents, gather round the fire. Feel its warmth and see its flicker. Toss in what you like

I'll start...

Sphere by Michael Crichton - bad plot, anti-science, really bad ending, personal loathing for a really poor novel

Dianetics by L Ron Hubbard - gateway book to a crazy cult, book is full of made up psudeo-psychology

The Turner Diaries by William Luther Pierce -blathering racism and all-around pointlessness

glatt · 09-10-2008, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Number 2 Pencil

I read Sphere by Michael Crichton years ago, and when I finished it, my first thought was, "I genuinly HATE this book. This was so bad I would burn it."

I had a very slow day at work many years ago where I had absolutely nothing to do but read that book cover to cover. It was terrible. I'd burn it if I had a copy.

Shawnee123 · 09-10-2008, 11:15 AM

Anything written by Danielle Steele.

smoothmoniker · 09-10-2008, 11:19 AM

America: A Call to Greatness

Given as a gift from my grandmother. It was so staggeringly awful, but like a car wreck, I had to see it through. BURN IT!

Sundae · 09-10-2008, 11:28 AM

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold.
I know Shawnee for one enjoyed it, but it makes me retch. Burning it would make me very happy.

jinx · 09-10-2008, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Number 2 Pencil

I read Sphere by Michael Crichton years ago, and when I finished it, my first thought was, "I genuinly HATE this book. This was so bad I would burn it."

Agreed, that book sucked ass. Made me stop reading his stuff altogether.
Others I've hated were House of Sand and Fog by Andre Debus and Lovely Bones by some stupid bitch I wanted to kick in the cunt. Didn't finish it it sucked so bad.

jinx · 09-10-2008, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold.

Yeah, she's the one.... stupid bitch...

Shawnee123 · 09-10-2008, 11:32 AM

Eh, most people hate the things I like. I was mesmerized by the account of a family trying to deal with the disappearance and then death of a loved one, told by the loved one who was murdered.

To each his own.

Shawnee123 · 09-10-2008, 11:33 AM

OH, and anything Sci-Fi.

Pico and ME · 09-10-2008, 11:46 AM

I cant really think of any books that I hate so much that I would burn them, but there are books that I couldn't finish reading because they couldn't keep my attention. The best example of that is the third book in Stephen Kings Gunslinger series. I got very frustrated with all the repetition he does in his books by then.

Number 2 Pencil · 09-10-2008, 11:46 AM

Temples On the Other Side: How Wisdom from "Beyond the Veil" Can Help You Right Now by Sylvia Browne.

Why believe a view of heaven as written by a psychic fraud that is using her books and readings to extract money from a credulous audience? I'm sure just about all of Sylvia Browne's writings are fire-worthy.

Flint · 09-10-2008, 11:47 AM

Quote:

The one requirement was that each bookburning needed to be justified in some extremely meaningful (and/or possibly personal) way.

And they have to write an essay describing their justification.

These essays are published, and in turn published as a book of their own.

The community is shocked when a rogue 16 year-old honor student submits the book-of-essays-about-which-books-should-be-burned as a book that itself should be burned. The essay is so compelling, that everyone agrees.

But that was just the beginning. Every member whose essay was burned on the basis of the new essay has to write an essay explaining why they felt the burning was justified. These essays are then collected and published, and within months are submitted and approved for burning--sparking another round of essays...and another round of burnings.

The recursive series of events that follows over the next several years lead to the total devastation of the publishing industry as we know it, as all books published by the year 2012 are exponentially self-referential to the point that people must pursue college degrees in the history-of-books-of-essays-about-book-burnings-being-burned before they can even understand what the books are even talking about.

The human desire to read is so overwhelming that millions of people abandon all other activities in favor of trying to follow the logical feedback loop, back far enough to be able to read anything anymore. Civilization collapses, about which essays are written and the whole process begins anew.

So, no, I think book-burning is a bad idea.

BrianR · 09-10-2008, 11:49 AM

My worst book was Stephen King's Gerald's Game.

I figure SK lost his touch about then. But I wouldn't burn it. Maybe relegate it to a box in the attic.

Burning books can get carried away. Farenheit 451, anyone?

Yes, I know he meant the one copy, not ALL of them, but still.

Sundae · 09-10-2008, 11:54 AM

Nah, burning a single copy of a book that you feel wasted your time and attention is no different than burning love letters from an ex. It's cathartic

I wouldn't burn any Stephen King books. Even those I didn't really enjoy have had a good turn of phrase or description in them as redemption.

glatt · 09-10-2008, 12:05 PM

I think Flint's post should be burned.

09-10-2008, 10:59 AM	#1
Number 2 Pencil Not too hard, not too soft Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Next to a yapping dog Posts: 75	A Good Old Fashoned Bookburning I read Sphere by Michael Crichton years ago, and when I finished it, my first thought was, "I genuinly HATE this book. This was so bad I would burn it." That one idea has brought up in me- a true lover of ideas and words- a strange hobby. I classify bad books by whether or not I should burn them. Many books have been redeemed by one stray idea or two, and I am proud to say that my 'books that deserve burning' list is very, very short. I loves to read, and I love knowledge in all its forms - even in forms that I disagree with. Bookburning to me is a kind of blasphemy that really should be restricted to the most vile of books, and, of course I would argue that even those really bad books merit existence if only for the study of really bad ideas. But I have this fantasy. I would hold a BBQ and invite all my friends over for a good old fashioned bookburning. They would bring textbooks they hated, really bad novels, a Chick tract or two- any book full of vile and unredeemable content. The one requirement was that each bookburning needed to be justified in some extremely meaningful (and/or possibly personal) way. Of course, I don't mean burn every copy of the book, some should be preserved somewhere for those that know what they are getting into, but really if the book is bad enough, no one should want to ever bother wasting their time reading it. So, ladies and gents, gather round the fire. Feel its warmth and see its flicker. Toss in what you like I'll start... Sphere by Michael Crichton - bad plot, anti-science, really bad ending, personal loathing for a really poor novel Dianetics by L Ron Hubbard - gateway book to a crazy cult, book is full of made up psudeo-psychology The Turner Diaries by William Luther Pierce -blathering racism and all-around pointlessness __________________ Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream? -Poe

09-10-2008, 11:15 AM	#3
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Anything written by Danielle Steele. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby Last edited by Shawnee123; 09-10-2008 at 11:30 AM. Reason: clarity

09-10-2008, 11:19 AM	#4
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	America: A Call to Greatness Given as a gift from my grandmother. It was so staggeringly awful, but like a car wreck, I had to see it through. BURN IT! __________________ to live and die in LA

09-10-2008, 11:32 AM	#8
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Eh, most people hate the things I like. I was mesmerized by the account of a family trying to deal with the disappearance and then death of a loved one, told by the loved one who was murdered. To each his own. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

09-10-2008, 11:33 AM	#9
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	OH, and anything Sci-Fi. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

09-10-2008, 11:28 AM	#5
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. I know Shawnee for one enjoyed it, but it makes me retch. Burning it would make me very happy.

09-10-2008, 11:46 AM	#10
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	I cant really think of any books that I hate so much that I would burn them, but there are books that I couldn't finish reading because they couldn't keep my attention. The best example of that is the third book in Stephen Kings Gunslinger series. I got very frustrated with all the repetition he does in his books by then.

09-10-2008, 11:49 AM	#13
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	My worst book was Stephen King's Gerald's Game. I figure SK lost his touch about then. But I wouldn't burn it. Maybe relegate it to a box in the attic. Burning books can get carried away. Farenheit 451, anyone? Yes, I know he meant the one copy, not ALL of them, but still. __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

09-10-2008, 11:54 AM	#14
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Nah, burning a single copy of a book that you feel wasted your time and attention is no different than burning love letters from an ex. It's cathartic I wouldn't burn any Stephen King books. Even those I didn't really enjoy have had a good turn of phrase or description in them as redemption.

09-10-2008, 12:05 PM	#15
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I think Flint's post should be burned.

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