Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 287

Ibby · 02-06-2012, 07:54 PM

Pete Zicato · 02-06-2012, 09:28 PM

Well, yeah. But Dr. Seuss made it sound more fun.

Ibby · 02-06-2012, 09:51 PM

And indoctrinated a generation of children in the best way possible.

Lola Bunny · 02-07-2012, 10:41 AM

Walking into the bar, Harvey said to the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one, Eddie. I just had another fight with the wife." "Oh yeah," said Eddie. "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Harvey replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really? wow ! What did she say"? "She said, 'come out from under that bed, you gutless coward !!!

jimhelm · 02-07-2012, 11:28 AM

an old one that I was reminded of by a cartoon posted on facebook:

So, I was sitting in the bar the other night, and this bombshell saunters in. She's got huge low slung boobs cradled in a low cut silk evening gown, legs up to here, and full rounded hips that would make men crash cars.

She runway walks straight toward me, and sits in the seat next to me. I was quite breathless by now. After a few moments and several stolen glances my way, she leans over to me and asks, "Hey, you smell really nice.... What do you have on?"

I said, without thinking, " A hard-on, but I didn't think you could smell it!"

she slapped me.

classicman · 02-07-2012, 11:30 AM

HA!

infinite monkey · 02-07-2012, 12:54 PM

So, these two guys are walkin down the street. One guy turns to the other guy and says "Have you seen your shoes?"

"No," replied the second guy. "Why do you ask?"

"Because," said the first guy "THEY'RE ON YOUR FEET."

(And that's when the second guy bludgeoned the first guy to death.)

footfootfoot · 02-07-2012, 01:45 PM

Do I laugh now?

infinite monkey · 02-07-2012, 01:48 PM

Depends.

When did you laugh at the other jokes?

footfootfoot · 02-07-2012, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Depends.

When did you laugh at the other jokes?

Usually right after everyone else starts.

BigV · 02-07-2012, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Usually right after everyone else starts.

patience...

Pete Zicato · 02-07-2012, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Depends.

You're right depends would be funnier than shoes.

monster · 02-09-2012, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Depends.

When did you laugh at the other jokes?

You need Depends to laugh? And you didn't even have babies!

infinite monkey · 02-07-2012, 03:23 PM

I've tried to provide appropriate cues. That way, even if the joke isn't funny, you'll know when to laugh.

Can we get a Cellar laugh track? Because that would be cool.

infinite monkey · 02-07-2012, 06:38 PM

Oh seriously, the really sort of funny thing is there was no punch line or 'a-ha' moment in my joke.

It was more of a commentary on the state of jokes in this country. Not really, either.

It's inexplicable!

02-06-2012, 07:54 PM	#1
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	__________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

02-06-2012, 09:28 PM	#2
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	Well, yeah. But Dr. Seuss made it sound more fun. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

02-06-2012, 09:51 PM	#3
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	And indoctrinated a generation of children in the best way possible. __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

02-07-2012, 11:28 AM	#5
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	an old one that I was reminded of by a cartoon posted on facebook: So, I was sitting in the bar the other night, and this bombshell saunters in. She's got huge low slung boobs cradled in a low cut silk evening gown, legs up to here, and full rounded hips that would make men crash cars. She runway walks straight toward me, and sits in the seat next to me. I was quite breathless by now. After a few moments and several stolen glances my way, she leans over to me and asks, "Hey, you smell really nice.... What do you have on?" I said, without thinking, " A hard-on, but I didn't think you could smell it!" she slapped me. __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

02-07-2012, 11:30 AM	#6
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	HA! __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

02-07-2012, 10:41 AM	#4
Lola Bunny Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 2,728	Walking into the bar, Harvey said to the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one, Eddie. I just had another fight with the wife." "Oh yeah," said Eddie. "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Harvey replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really? wow ! What did she say"? "She said, 'come out from under that bed, you gutless coward !!!

02-07-2012, 12:54 PM	#7
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	So, these two guys are walkin down the street. One guy turns to the other guy and says "Have you seen your shoes?" "No," replied the second guy. "Why do you ask?" "Because," said the first guy "THEY'RE ON YOUR FEET." (And that's when the second guy bludgeoned the first guy to death.)

02-07-2012, 01:45 PM	#8
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Do I laugh now? __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

02-07-2012, 01:48 PM	#9
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Depends. When did you laugh at the other jokes?

02-07-2012, 03:23 PM	#14
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I've tried to provide appropriate cues. That way, even if the joke isn't funny, you'll know when to laugh. Can we get a Cellar laugh track? Because that would be cool.

02-07-2012, 06:38 PM	#15
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Oh seriously, the really sort of funny thing is there was no punch line or 'a-ha' moment in my joke. It was more of a commentary on the state of jokes in this country. Not really, either. It's inexplicable!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 5 (0 members and 5 guests)