So The DNR was in my driveway

Nirvana · 11-06-2011, 11:41 PM

My friend Cathy is a very nice lady in her early 60s she works as a senior activities director and hospice person at our local hospital. You can just imagine what her days are like. So Saturday I asked her to go with me to a dog show. She has been to a few with me. We are two older attractive blondes.

To refresh memories I live in the middle of nowhere, miles of cornfields. I tell Cathy to meet me at my gate which is 1/2 mile from my house and leave her car there rather than brave the mud bog that is my driveway. She drives a maroon, Crown Vic.

It's about 9:30am and off we go to a dog show 2 hrs away. The dog show is over we drive home we get here about 10pm and in my driveway just outside of my steel gates which are open is a conservation officer. I pull up to the side of his SUV and he and his flashlite walk around from the other side. I say "can I help you?"

Now mind you we have Chihuahuas in crates in the car. A Chihuahua each in our respective laps and Barney Fife is blinding us with his flashlite wondering if there is anyone doing some kind of illegal hunting. I was not really sure what kind of hunting dogs he thought we had and what hunter/redneck drives around in a PT Cruiser or a maroon Crown Vic?

Anyway I assured him no one was doing any illegal hunting and that my friend was just going to grab her dogs and cooler and go home. He proceeded to tell me in his wavering voice that he can do what he was doing because he is a Conservation officer blah blah and I said no problem here officer.

When my friend got her chair out of the back of my car I thought I hope this guy knows this is not a rifle.

After he left we just laughed that anyone would think that we two old blonde ladies were poaching, we did not even have any beer in the car

This evening I did mess with my friend by sending her this email..

"You left your deer blind and rifle in my car. You also forgot your can of Skoal and your Hank Williams CD.

This morning I heard someone shooting near my farm. Deer season must be in full swing. Time to get out the orange trooper hats!

DanaC · 11-07-2011, 04:49 AM

Ha! Cute story

Clodfobble · 11-07-2011, 08:20 AM

In my mind, DNR means "Do Not Resuscitate," and I seriously thought you were leading up to a story about how your not-elderly friend (who ironically takes care of the elderly) suddenly died in your driveway.

I got accused of poaching once. I guess it must be a problem, if people take it so seriously.

glatt · 11-07-2011, 08:25 AM

I counted 6 deer by the side of the Beltway yesterday. I wish they would poach around here. It was a rare case of me not driving and being able to gaze out the window instead of at the other cars. But I'm sure Barney Fife would put a stop to it.

Sundae · 11-07-2011, 09:41 AM

Only poaching round here is eggs.
Nice though, specicially the free range ones I'm sometimes gifted.

Nirvana · 11-07-2011, 10:29 AM

.

infinite monkey · 11-07-2011, 04:03 PM

Cathy and Nirvana's Excellent Adventure!

Great story. Can I come live with you? I'll just use an old stall or outbuilding.

Gravdigr · 11-07-2011, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nirvana

The dog show is over we drive home we get here about 10pm and in my driveway just outside of my steel gates which are open is a conservation officer.

Is he psychic?

Shades of "Minority Report"?

11-06-2011, 11:41 PM	#1
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	So The DNR was in my driveway My friend Cathy is a very nice lady in her early 60s she works as a senior activities director and hospice person at our local hospital. You can just imagine what her days are like. So Saturday I asked her to go with me to a dog show. She has been to a few with me. We are two older attractive blondes. To refresh memories I live in the middle of nowhere, miles of cornfields. I tell Cathy to meet me at my gate which is 1/2 mile from my house and leave her car there rather than brave the mud bog that is my driveway. She drives a maroon, Crown Vic. It's about 9:30am and off we go to a dog show 2 hrs away. The dog show is over we drive home we get here about 10pm and in my driveway just outside of my steel gates which are open is a conservation officer. I pull up to the side of his SUV and he and his flashlite walk around from the other side. I say "can I help you?" Now mind you we have Chihuahuas in crates in the car. A Chihuahua each in our respective laps and Barney Fife is blinding us with his flashlite wondering if there is anyone doing some kind of illegal hunting. I was not really sure what kind of hunting dogs he thought we had and what hunter/redneck drives around in a PT Cruiser or a maroon Crown Vic? Anyway I assured him no one was doing any illegal hunting and that my friend was just going to grab her dogs and cooler and go home. He proceeded to tell me in his wavering voice that he can do what he was doing because he is a Conservation officer blah blah and I said no problem here officer. When my friend got her chair out of the back of my car I thought I hope this guy knows this is not a rifle. After he left we just laughed that anyone would think that we two old blonde ladies were poaching, we did not even have any beer in the car This evening I did mess with my friend by sending her this email.. "You left your deer blind and rifle in my car. You also forgot your can of Skoal and your Hank Williams CD. This morning I heard someone shooting near my farm. Deer season must be in full swing. Time to get out the orange trooper hats! __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

11-07-2011, 08:20 AM	#3
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	In my mind, DNR means "Do Not Resuscitate," and I seriously thought you were leading up to a story about how your not-elderly friend (who ironically takes care of the elderly) suddenly died in your driveway. I got accused of poaching once. I guess it must be a problem, if people take it so seriously. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

11-07-2011, 09:41 AM	#5
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Only poaching round here is eggs. Nice though, specicially the free range ones I'm sometimes gifted. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

11-07-2011, 10:29 AM	#6
Nirvana Back in 10 Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 3,684	. __________________ Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.

11-07-2011, 08:25 AM	#4
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I counted 6 deer by the side of the Beltway yesterday. I wish they would poach around here. It was a rare case of me not driving and being able to gaze out the window instead of at the other cars. But I'm sure Barney Fife would put a stop to it.

11-07-2011, 04:03 PM	#7
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Cathy and Nirvana's Excellent Adventure! Great story. Can I come live with you? I'll just use an old stall or outbuilding.

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