Funny/Embarrassing things they say - Page 11

SteveDallas · 04-11-2007, 11:28 PM

Of course they do. Knowledge like that will come in handy if he writes in a gerbil. You know, a gerbil . . . like a book of paper you can write stuff in. (Credit my daughter, from about the same age.)

luvclowns · 04-15-2007, 09:18 AM

This is a great thread....gotta love the way kids minds work.

My grandson will be 4 next month....several months ago he was playing doctor with mommy and checked her eyes and ears and nose. All was okay. Then he said, "Open your mouth big Mommy!" She did, he looked in and saw the uvula (hanging thing) in the back of her mouth and said, "Mommy! You have a pecker in your mouth!"

Aliantha · 04-18-2007, 09:34 PM

Last night we were talking to the kids about being an organ donor and we were explaining the whole process to them, including the fact that in most cases, if we donate organs it's because we've died before we were old and our organs were used up. Obviously this meant that the kids made the connection to us maybe dying while we're still youngish, so it led to a discussion about burials and funerals etc.

After we'd stopped chatting, my son Aden sat and thought for a minute and then asked, "Mum, when you die, do you want to be crucified or buried". I told him I didn't really care, but that I'd rather be cremated than crucified.

04-18-2007, 10:05 PM

Not me... if I had a choice I would much rather be crucified! In my leather jacket, sprinkled with birdseed!

Aliantha · 04-19-2007, 01:36 AM

You want the birds to eat you?

04-19-2007, 02:27 AM

Yup.

LabRat · 04-19-2007, 09:02 AM

This morning, dad was in the shower, I was brushing my teeth and the pup was on the floor with her blanket. Dad made a comment about a 'f*ckin' show... and I said WHAT!! since the little one was right there. She pipes back with, ''he said ...puppet show, mom.''

He's lucky he gets to let that swear word slide...

Sheldonrs · 04-19-2007, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

Not me... if I had a choice I would much rather be crucified! In my leather jacket, sprinkled with birdseed!

I don't blame you. I want to die getting nailed with peckers all over me too.

Urbane Guerrilla · 04-20-2007, 05:03 AM

There's a famous one from the theatre, starring Rex Harrison IIRC:

During a performance of My Fair Lady, Rex had gas. And then he couldn't hold it any more:

"Manners? My manners are the same as Colonel Pickering's." --BRRRRAAPP! Brought the house down.

It's almost too bad it didn't, er, transpire in an earlier scene:

"Pickering, this is going to be ghastly."

[SFX]

"You're right, Higgins. It is ghastly."

Phil · 04-20-2007, 06:16 AM

a friends daughter was allowed to go to the bar to get herself a snack. she asked the barmaid "are you a man?" the barmaid said "no sweetheart, i'm a woman. what can i get you?" friends daughter ordered her snack, took it from the barmaid and said "wel, you look like a man to me."

04-20-2007, 10:21 AM

Damn! It got chilly in here~

SteveDallas · 05-24-2007, 05:10 PM

I can't wait to see how Young Master Dallas' teacher reacts to this bit of homework.

Shawnee123 · 05-24-2007, 05:16 PM

Excellent, STeve! A chip off the old block.

My niece and family were eating pizza one night, and Jeopardy was on the kitchen tv. The "answer" was "what is a pond?" Anna, totally incredulous, says "That guy doesn't even know what a POND is!"

SteveDallas · 05-24-2007, 06:15 PM

Not really... I prefer a modest sedan myself.

piercehawkeye45 · 05-25-2007, 01:58 AM

HAHA, you teach him steve.

04-15-2007, 09:18 AM	#152
luvclowns Person Who Has Posted Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Greentree PA, with my dad to care for him Posts: 2	This is a great thread....gotta love the way kids minds work. My grandson will be 4 next month....several months ago he was playing doctor with mommy and checked her eyes and ears and nose. All was okay. Then he said, "Open your mouth big Mommy!" She did, he looked in and saw the uvula (hanging thing) in the back of her mouth and said, "Mommy! You have a pecker in your mouth!" __________________ A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

04-18-2007, 09:34 PM	#153
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Last night we were talking to the kids about being an organ donor and we were explaining the whole process to them, including the fact that in most cases, if we donate organs it's because we've died before we were old and our organs were used up. Obviously this meant that the kids made the connection to us maybe dying while we're still youngish, so it led to a discussion about burials and funerals etc. After we'd stopped chatting, my son Aden sat and thought for a minute and then asked, "Mum, when you die, do you want to be crucified or buried". I told him I didn't really care, but that I'd rather be cremated than crucified. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

04-19-2007, 01:36 AM	#155
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	You want the birds to eat you? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

04-19-2007, 09:02 AM	#157
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	This morning, dad was in the shower, I was brushing my teeth and the pup was on the floor with her blanket. Dad made a comment about a 'f*ckin' show... and I said WHAT!! since the little one was right there. She pipes back with, ''he said ...puppet show, mom.'' He's lucky he gets to let that swear word slide... __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

04-20-2007, 05:03 AM	#159
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	There's a famous one from the theatre, starring Rex Harrison IIRC: During a performance of My Fair Lady, Rex had gas. And then he couldn't hold it any more: "Manners? My manners are the same as Colonel Pickering's." --BRRRRAAPP! Brought the house down. It's almost too bad it didn't, er, transpire in an earlier scene: "Pickering, this is going to be ghastly." [SFX] "You're right, Higgins. It is ghastly." __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course. Last edited by Urbane Guerrilla; 04-20-2007 at 05:13 AM.

04-11-2007, 11:28 PM	#151
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Of course they do. Knowledge like that will come in handy if he writes in a gerbil. You know, a gerbil . . . like a book of paper you can write stuff in. (Credit my daughter, from about the same age.)

04-18-2007, 10:05 PM	#154
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Not me... if I had a choice I would much rather be crucified! In my leather jacket, sprinkled with birdseed!

04-19-2007, 02:27 AM	#156
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Yup.

04-20-2007, 06:16 AM	#160
Phil Hoodoo Guru Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 304	a friends daughter was allowed to go to the bar to get herself a snack. she asked the barmaid "are you a man?" the barmaid said "no sweetheart, i'm a woman. what can i get you?" friends daughter ordered her snack, took it from the barmaid and said "wel, you look like a man to me." __________________ Atheist n A person to be pitied in that he is unable to believe things for which there is no evidence, and who has thus deprived himself of a convenient means of feeling superior to others.

04-20-2007, 10:21 AM	#161
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Damn! It got chilly in here~

05-24-2007, 05:10 PM	#162
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I can't wait to see how Young Master Dallas' teacher reacts to this bit of homework. Attached Images

05-24-2007, 05:16 PM	#163
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Excellent, STeve! A chip off the old block. My niece and family were eating pizza one night, and Jeopardy was on the kitchen tv. The "answer" was "what is a pond?" Anna, totally incredulous, says "That guy doesn't even know what a POND is!" __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

05-24-2007, 06:15 PM	#164
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Not really... I prefer a modest sedan myself.

05-25-2007, 01:58 AM	#165
piercehawkeye45 Franklin Pierce Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Minnesota Posts: 3,695	HAHA, you teach him steve.

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