The Generic Support Group Thread - Page 11

limey · 01-12-2006, 07:16 AM

As I understand it here in the UK AA is not so spiritually oriented, you are encouraged to get the strength you need from whichever source suits you best ... It probably depends on the group leader/co-ordinator a bit, but in the Midlands you should be able to find a number of groups within striking distance, and so find one that suits you. If you are considering Weight Watchers as a support group then support groups are something you think you would benefit from. I'd say give it a go and best of British to you!

laebedahs · 01-17-2006, 06:03 PM

I need support. I'll be straight up: I'm lonely

. I haven't been alone in 6 years before now and it's tearing me up.

Sundae · 01-18-2006, 07:44 AM

Right - joined Weight Watchers rather than AA, but haven't had a drink in over a week & intend to stick to that.

WW is awful - I forgot I'm not a group person, but I'll use it as an incentive. I've promised myself I will keep going until I've lost 4 stone, after that I'm on my own.

Talking of being on my own - Laebedahs, I know it feels all wrong when it first happens, but you may come to appreciate it. If you set out to meet someone just for the sake of being in a couple it rarely lasts. There are a lot of advantages to being on your own that you don't really appreciate for the first few months.

If you're a list person, draw up a list of the things you can do now that you couldn't before. Even if it's cooking kippers or drinking straight from the orange juice carton. Buy the books you always meant to read - or get them out of the library. Start an exercise regime or a fiddly DIY project.

Fill your time basically.

If you can learn to value your freedom then time spent alone isn't wasted - it's a useful thing to experience. I think it benefits most people to be self-reliant and you are still young enough to know there will be someone in the future for you. Just keep reminding yourself that loneliness won't kill you & there are worse states to be in. That helped me anyway!

But you do have my sympathy...

01-18-2006, 10:55 AM

Good for you and weight watchers, Sundae Girl! I think any support group is helpful in a situation like yours. It gets you out of your house and allows you to see that other folks are struggling with issues, too. The very best of luck to you!

Laebedahs, the end of a long term relationship or marriage is always difficult. Sometimes the loneliness seems to just echo around in your head, as vast as the Grand Canyon.

Find things that interest you in 3D land. Take a class or join a poetry group. You do write pretty good poetry. In my town there's a weekly poetry slam group that meets that is lots of fun. Its a great way of meeting like minded people.

It takes time to adjust, but you WILL adjust. The very worst possible thing you could do is just jump into a new relationship now to fill the void. Get yourself some buddies by going out in the world and doing things that interest you.

I'll send you a pack of banana chips in the mail!

Trilby · 01-18-2006, 02:43 PM

I feel lonely sometimes, too, then I go out and observe my fellow beings and end up thanking the gods that I AM alone. For the most part, people annoy me. I've very little patience and even less good will. I USED to have some (lots, I think) but it all got eaten up. I always end up doing things I don't want to do, saying things I don't mean and being someone I'm not. It takes a toll, though, being alone. Sometimes I fear I'm becoming the female equivalent of Ted Kaczinsky. Then I remember that I'm not that smart.

Trilby · 01-20-2006, 02:39 PM

well, eff ya! no one cares re: my loneliness and alienation!

*SOB*

Rock Steady · 01-20-2006, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

well, eff ya! no one cares re: my loneliness and alienation!

*SOB*

I was going to post something late last night, but all my clever reponses seemed kind of dumb, so I got writer's block. I guess posting something dumb is better than not saying anything when it comes to showing you the lurve you need.

Trilby · 01-20-2006, 03:17 PM

i lurve you!

glatt · 01-20-2006, 03:35 PM

So what's your situation, Brianna? Don't your sons live with you any longer? Did I miss a post about them moving out? Or are they always out of the house with their friends?

How often do you speak with real people?

Trilby · 01-20-2006, 03:41 PM

um. ouch.

my sons are fine. one lives with me and the other does not.

I never speak with real people.

I'll go away now.

Rock Steady · 01-20-2006, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

um. ouch.

my sons are fine. one lives with me and the other does not.

I never speak with real people.

I'll go away now.

Don't worry about the guy in the ivory tower.

We live with a 19 yo teenage son; he has his own world and doesn't want us in it, barely see him. One needs adult contact; I thought that news reached the ivory tower by now, professor.

glatt · 01-20-2006, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

um. ouch.

Sorry if I came across harsh. I honestly didn't mean to.

I was just curious about the details of your situation. You used to talk every once in a while about your kids, and you don't any more.

I get a lot from my kids, so I can't imagine being lonely as long as they are around. Of course, teenagers aren't the same as little kids. At least, I wasn't when I was a teenager.

Many years ago, I was living alone and was unemployed for about 3-4 months. It was very lonely. I spoke to real human beings (as opposed to typing on a computer) about 2-3 times a week back then. I didn't even have the Cellar to fall back on. It wasn't really enough. Some days, walking over to a 7-11 was the most human contact I would get.

Rock Steady · 01-20-2006, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

Sorry if I came across harsh. I honestly didn't mean to.

I'm glad to hear that. Hopefully, Bri will be back after a short break.

For a Support thread, some folks have been fairly critical after people let loose with their honest feelings. That reinforces the idea that if you tell someone something, they can use it against you. So, you bottle it up inside until it explodes.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-20-2006, 11:21 PM

Maybe so, but sometimes those explosions are more revealing......feel better, too.

laebedahs · 01-27-2006, 10:28 AM

I did some looking around for a local poetry group, couldn't find any (wonderful backwoods city!). I'm sure I could find one if I started looking in the Atlanta metro area, but I really don't want to have to drive there. It isn't very far, it's just my car gets horrible gas miledge.

01-12-2006, 07:16 AM	#151
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	As I understand it here in the UK AA is not so spiritually oriented, you are encouraged to get the strength you need from whichever source suits you best ... It probably depends on the group leader/co-ordinator a bit, but in the Midlands you should be able to find a number of groups within striking distance, and so find one that suits you. If you are considering Weight Watchers as a support group then support groups are something you think you would benefit from. I'd say give it a go and best of British to you! __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

01-17-2006, 06:03 PM	#152
laebedahs Abecedarian Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 172	Since this is generic support group.... I need support. I'll be straight up: I'm lonely . I haven't been alone in 6 years before now and it's tearing me up.

01-18-2006, 02:43 PM	#155
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I feel lonely sometimes, too, then I go out and observe my fellow beings and end up thanking the gods that I AM alone. For the most part, people annoy me. I've very little patience and even less good will. I USED to have some (lots, I think) but it all got eaten up. I always end up doing things I don't want to do, saying things I don't mean and being someone I'm not. It takes a toll, though, being alone. Sometimes I fear I'm becoming the female equivalent of Ted Kaczinsky. Then I remember that I'm not that smart. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-20-2006, 02:39 PM	#156
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	well, eff ya! no one cares re: my loneliness and alienation! SOB __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-20-2006, 03:17 PM	#158
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	i lurve you! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-18-2006, 07:44 AM	#153
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Right - joined Weight Watchers rather than AA, but haven't had a drink in over a week & intend to stick to that. WW is awful - I forgot I'm not a group person, but I'll use it as an incentive. I've promised myself I will keep going until I've lost 4 stone, after that I'm on my own. Talking of being on my own - Laebedahs, I know it feels all wrong when it first happens, but you may come to appreciate it. If you set out to meet someone just for the sake of being in a couple it rarely lasts. There are a lot of advantages to being on your own that you don't really appreciate for the first few months. If you're a list person, draw up a list of the things you can do now that you couldn't before. Even if it's cooking kippers or drinking straight from the orange juice carton. Buy the books you always meant to read - or get them out of the library. Start an exercise regime or a fiddly DIY project. Fill your time basically. If you can learn to value your freedom then time spent alone isn't wasted - it's a useful thing to experience. I think it benefits most people to be self-reliant and you are still young enough to know there will be someone in the future for you. Just keep reminding yourself that loneliness won't kill you & there are worse states to be in. That helped me anyway! But you do have my sympathy...

01-18-2006, 10:55 AM	#154
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	Good for you and weight watchers, Sundae Girl! I think any support group is helpful in a situation like yours. It gets you out of your house and allows you to see that other folks are struggling with issues, too. The very best of luck to you! Laebedahs, the end of a long term relationship or marriage is always difficult. Sometimes the loneliness seems to just echo around in your head, as vast as the Grand Canyon. Find things that interest you in 3D land. Take a class or join a poetry group. You do write pretty good poetry. In my town there's a weekly poetry slam group that meets that is lots of fun. Its a great way of meeting like minded people. It takes time to adjust, but you WILL adjust. The very worst possible thing you could do is just jump into a new relationship now to fill the void. Get yourself some buddies by going out in the world and doing things that interest you. I'll send you a pack of banana chips in the mail!

01-20-2006, 03:35 PM	#159
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	So what's your situation, Brianna? Don't your sons live with you any longer? Did I miss a post about them moving out? Or are they always out of the house with their friends? How often do you speak with real people?

01-20-2006, 03:41 PM	#160
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	um. ouch. my sons are fine. one lives with me and the other does not. I never speak with real people. I'll go away now. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-20-2006, 11:21 PM	#164
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Maybe so, but sometimes those explosions are more revealing......feel better, too. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-27-2006, 10:28 AM	#165
laebedahs Abecedarian Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 172	I did some looking around for a local poetry group, couldn't find any (wonderful backwoods city!). I'm sure I could find one if I started looking in the Atlanta metro area, but I really don't want to have to drive there. It isn't very far, it's just my car gets horrible gas miledge.

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