Weird News

[HungLikeJesus]

Oh - when I heard that 12 girls had tics I sent them a case of Hartz Ultraguard collars.

[HungLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by Sundae

I can swim approx 25 metres. In a pool.
I would struggle to swim in the sea. Close to rocks and a huge sinking vessel, currents would be unpredictable. In a shipwreck, I'm Shelley Winters Swimming distance depends on the swimmer.
...

Trivia: Shelley Winters learned to swim from Olympic champion Johnny Weissmuller.

[Sundae]

My apologies. Movies warp real facts; lemmings actually swim very well too.

[infinite monkey]

You know, the deeper underneath the water you go, the more nitrogen narcosis sets in, and the more relaxed you are, and the less seasick.

Of course, the downside is no air.

I forgot I was in scuba gear when I did that.

[Sundae]

I should have said Belle Rosen.
But I don't like to make obscure jokes if I wouldn't personally get them.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

My first thought was hoax, but I'm cynical like that.

It's The Devils Lite.

[Pete Zicato]

Originally Posted by HungLikeJesus

Trivia: Shelley Winters learned to swim from Olympic champion Johnny Weissmuller.

If Poseidon Adventure is how you remember Shelley Winters, it's easy to forget she once looked like this:

[glatt]

You know who's a good swimmer? Clint Eastwood. For real.

He was in a plane crash in '51 off the coast of California and swam a few miles to shore by himself. Taught swimming in the military after that.

[infinite monkey]

She was heeeelarious as Roseanne's grandma.

[footfootfoot]

Old age don't have no mercy in this thread.

[classicman]

Originally Posted by glatt

You know who's a good swimmer? Clint Eastwood.

Just don't go skiing with him. He ran into my bro on the slopes in Aspen - Literally.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Has anyone heard about these 12 HS girls exhibiting tourette-like symptoms? They're calling it conversion disorder (mass hysteria) but I don't really buy it. Of courses, I'm not a doctor IRL or on TV.

It's cool, it's just 2012. The neurological damage has reached critical mass, and we're all gonna start tipping over the edge and dropping like flies in the next few months. Been nice knowing you guys--cuntpissfuck!

[ZenGum]

Wow, that T-shirt about Tourette's was well timed. Bitchface!


Sent from my warped mind using digital telekinesis.

[monster]

Originally Posted by ZenGum

I was about to post that in the Mildly Amusing thread.

First of all this guy appears to have really screwed up the navigation in some of the best charted waters in the world in a ship with all the modern wizz-bang gizmos.

Then - maybe this is a second-language issue - he mentioned "a rock collided with our ship". ORLY? How fast was the rock going?

Then he went from "we were the last to leave" to "I WAS co-ordinating - from the lifeboat".

Yesterday, the ship had lurched violently and tipped them into the sea.

Now he "tripped and fell ... right into a lifeboat"

You, captain, are NO CAPTAIN.

And now he ordered dinner for his fancy ladye an hour after the crash

http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/19/world/...ook/index.html


The deaths aren't funny, but this captain sure is. How in the heck did they hire him? Where did they find him?

[glatt]

Originally Posted by monster

Where did they find him?

It's machismo. Not uncommon in those parts.

Hey, I'm a big important man. I'm going to ignore those pesky rules for wimps and bring my ship in close to the shore so I can impress my buds.

So you say we scraped bottom a little bit? It's just a little flesh wound. Get me my dinner and drinks. Can't you see I have a woman here?

My only wonder is when he went from full blown machismo mode to realizing the shit had hit the fan and he transitioned into whimpering baby mode.