There's lumberthing I want to tell you - Page 117

Clodfobble · 12-06-2019, 10:36 PM

Chopping wood with an axe for the Christmas fire, handle slipped and spun around Looney Tunes style to hack you right in the temple.

This brat kid dropped an iron on your face and electrocuted your partner while the two of you tried to rob his house on Christmas Eve.

Santa flew a little too low and Rudolph's hoof grazed your face as he passed overhead.

Undertoad · 12-06-2019, 10:45 PM

BDSM partner played rough and you forgot the safe word. Brutal night. Might go again though.

~

Nothing actually happened, but your nephew is going to be a surgeon, and he really wanted to practice on a live patient. So it's just a cut and a stitch. He actually paid you $500 for it though, in case it leaves a mark. He did the final tie of the stitch with one hand!

sexobon · 12-06-2019, 11:44 PM

Bought a DIY facelift kit for eye wrinkles. Doing the other side next week.

Got an anti-facial recognition device implant.

Termite damage.

xoxoxoBruce · 12-07-2019, 12:21 AM

"Shot by a bullet in the war" is a standard.

lumberjim · 12-07-2019, 12:57 AM

I used to be an adventurer like you, but....

Gravdigr · 12-07-2019, 04:07 PM

Bacon cooking accident...

BigV · 12-07-2019, 04:13 PM

Good catch, nice scar. Get well, stay well.

Undertoad · 12-07-2019, 06:23 PM

You've heard of those snipers who can kill somebody from a mile and a half away? Yeah so I borrowed my neighbors' string trimmer, but when I used it some debris caught me in the side of the head.

Griff · 12-07-2019, 06:49 PM

Implant for my next generation Tesla pickup.

This one time at band camp...

Clodfobble · 12-08-2019, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

Implant for my next generation Tesla pickup.

Ha! That's the one story suggested here that he'll never tell customers as they get their financing sorted.

monster · 12-09-2019, 10:42 PM

Quote:

So far, customers been too polite to ask what the head wound is about, but I've had to explain it to the coworkers repeatedly. Never a straight answer. I had a zipper put in so I can change the battery easier, etc.

Gave a customer a deal so good it literally blew your mind.....

(Had a parasitic conjoined twin removed because they started inflating the finance rates)

lumberjim · 12-10-2019, 02:36 PM

Healing very nicely. Sutures come out tomorrow.

lumberjim · 12-10-2019, 09:47 PM

Merry Christmas, Bruce!

lumberjim · 12-10-2019, 09:48 PM

I don't know why Tapatalk is posting my pics 90 deg counter. Annoying

xoxoxoBruce · 12-11-2019, 02:08 AM

Tell them your boss hit you upside the head when he found out almost 10% of your customers refuse the undercoating and Scotchgard.

12-06-2019, 10:36 PM	#1741
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Chopping wood with an axe for the Christmas fire, handle slipped and spun around Looney Tunes style to hack you right in the temple. This brat kid dropped an iron on your face and electrocuted your partner while the two of you tried to rob his house on Christmas Eve. Santa flew a little too low and Rudolph's hoof grazed your face as he passed overhead. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

12-07-2019, 12:21 AM	#1744
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	"Shot by a bullet in the war" is a standard. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

12-07-2019, 12:57 AM	#1745
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I used to be an adventurer like you, but.... __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-07-2019, 04:07 PM	#1746
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Bacon cooking accident... __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-07-2019, 04:13 PM	#1747
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Good catch, nice scar. Get well, stay well. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

12-06-2019, 10:45 PM	#1742
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	BDSM partner played rough and you forgot the safe word. Brutal night. Might go again though. ~ Nothing actually happened, but your nephew is going to be a surgeon, and he really wanted to practice on a live patient. So it's just a cut and a stitch. He actually paid you $500 for it though, in case it leaves a mark. He did the final tie of the stitch with one hand!

12-06-2019, 11:44 PM	#1743
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	Bought a DIY facelift kit for eye wrinkles. Doing the other side next week. Got an anti-facial recognition device implant. Termite damage.

12-07-2019, 06:23 PM	#1748
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	You've heard of those snipers who can kill somebody from a mile and a half away? Yeah so I borrowed my neighbors' string trimmer, but when I used it some debris caught me in the side of the head.

12-07-2019, 06:49 PM	#1749
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Implant for my next generation Tesla pickup. This one time at band camp... __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-10-2019, 02:36 PM	#1752
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Healing very nicely. Sutures come out tomorrow. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-10-2019, 09:47 PM	#1753
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Merry Christmas, Bruce! __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-10-2019, 09:48 PM	#1754
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I don't know why Tapatalk is posting my pics 90 deg counter. Annoying __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-11-2019, 02:08 AM	#1755
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Tell them your boss hit you upside the head when he found out almost 10% of your customers refuse the undercoating and Scotchgard. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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