Funny/Embarrassing things they say - Page 12

LabRat · 05-25-2007, 07:54 AM

Master Dallas and Master rkzenrage. Don't let those two guys meet in college, they'll end up being the next generation's Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong.

smurfalicious · 05-25-2007, 08:39 AM

I had a bad day (I work for attorneys... so, you know, most of them are) and I was explaining to Scully, my 6 year old daughter, upon picking her up from school, that I had had a bad day, and to please be on extra good behavior for a little while until I was able to improve my attitude. She asked why it was a bad day, and I explained that I had had a disagreement with Mr. Bill, one of the attorneys, and I felt as though he was being terribly unfair and blaming me for a problem that he created.

Now, normally, I didn't go into detail like this, but around that time, she had a habit of coming home and complaining every day about someone in her class and how they "ruined" her whole day by skipping her inline, or not wanting to play her game, or some other equally silly thing, so I was trying to point out that it happens to everyone, and that sometimes you need to talk and have a few minutes to change your attitude. I was trying to set an example.

Well, it so happens that there was a teacher work day the following day, and I had to take Scully into work with me.

We weren't there an hour when Mr. Bill, who had previously spoken to me earlier that morning and we had resolved our issue, came up to me and handed me a piece of paper that had been given to him by my daughter. It read:

To Mister Bill
I hered you havent ben nice to my mommy so can you be more nicer to her and if you want to no hoo toled me it is my mommy Love Scully

Now, not only did she completely embarrass me, but then she totally made it a point to throw me under the bus. No loyalty, I tell ya!

Shawnee123 · 05-25-2007, 09:20 AM

Smurf, that is great!

BigV · 05-25-2007, 09:25 AM

Under the bus?! No, no no nonono... the truth will set you free! You have a fierce advocate there, a champion dedicated to the defense of her beloved mother. You have done very well as a mother and I am awed by your articulate, self possessed, loving daughter. You have a lot to be proud of.

smurfalicious · 05-25-2007, 09:38 AM

lol, okay, you might have a point BigV...

but how about the times when she was about 3 years old when we were in public restrooms and she asked if I wiped good, or what was that white thing going in my vagina...

(my apologies for TMI)

monster · 05-25-2007, 09:42 PM

Our summer pool opens tomorrrow. Tonight board members and members who helped prepare the pool got a sneak preview. Thor (5) was so excited. He remembered how last year (when he had just learned to bike without training wheels and was tiny and cute and stole all heart in the bike parade) he got the "speared award". The way they say Spirit round here sounds like speared, so I said "Oh the spirit award?" He said "No, speared. SPEARED. spelled SPIRD." So I said do you mean like a good team member, having fun? He said "No , Speared, like warrior". Well he's proud of it anyway.

SteveDallas · 05-25-2007, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LabRat

Master Dallas and Master rkzenrage. Don't let those two guys meet in college, they'll end up being the next generation's Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong.

I was planning to send mine to do his undergraduate work in your lab. I figure you'll straighten him out if anybody can.

SteveDallas · 05-25-2007, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smurfalicious

but how about the times when she was about 3 years old when we were in public restrooms and she asked if I wiped good, or what was that white thing going in my vagina...

At about the same age, when using a public restroom was still a novelty, Mrs. Dallas was taking my daughter somewhere on Sunday. We had been to church, and there had been Communion. She had to go to the bathroom, and while they were there in the stall taking care of business, the little girl started saying very clearly, "Body of Christ, given for you! Body of Christ, given for you!" As Mrs. Dallas said to me, "I can only imagine what kind of religious freaks everybody thought we were."

Undertoad · 05-26-2007, 08:26 AM

Jacquelita's daughter yesterday: "Hey Mom, I got the Pepsi scholarship. It's like $500."

Jac: "That's great! What did they say you did to earn it?"

Daughter: "I dunno... I didn't think I had a chance at getting anything, so I didn't pay attention until they called my name."

SteveDallas · 06-01-2007, 12:35 PM

My son's second grade class went on a field trip to Dutch Wonderland this week. Mrs. Dallas went along as a chaperone. Among other things, they saw a play. Two of my son's friends decided they really liked the princess... liked her so much, in fact, that they went up to her and gave her their phone numbers.

(I asked my son if he did too, and he said no. When I asked him why not, he said, "That's just idiotic. I mean, she must be, like, 20!")

smurfalicious · 06-01-2007, 01:51 PM

Not funny, but friggin beautiful...

(as I'm tucking her into bed, age 5)
Mommy?
Yeah?
I know what I want to be when I grow up.
Oh really? What have you decided on this week?
I don't want to be a teacher or a builder. I want to be an artist. Some people are just meant to be something.

06-01-2007, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LabRat

Master Dallas and Master rkzenrage. Don't let those two guys meet in college, they'll end up being the next generation's Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong.

He told my wife he wanted a tattoo on his butt of "blocks with 'mom' on it" yesterday.

Aliantha · 06-04-2007, 05:24 AM

Tonight we were having a bit of a talk after dinner and hubby and I were giving our oldest boy a bit of stick about the number of girlfriends he has had, at which point I stated that he'd changed g/f's more often than he'd changed his underpants. His response to this was, "I've only had 7 g/f's. I've changed my undies 10 times this year."

smurfalicious · 06-05-2007, 01:33 PM

today's gem...

Clodfobble · 07-03-2007, 04:46 PM

My 5-year-old stepson came up out of nowhere today and asked me, "You know that woman, that relative on the syrup bottle?"

Long pause.

"Uh... You mean Aunt Jemima?"
"Yeah!"
"What about her?"
"Why do you think they put her on the bottle?"
"Well, I think maybe they hope people will think she looks like she's a really good cook, so the syrup must be really tasty."

"Oh. My mom says that they chose her because her skin is the color of maple syrup."

...

"Uh... Okay. That's... a strange thing for your mom to think."

05-25-2007, 07:54 AM	#166
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	Master Dallas and Master rkzenrage. Don't let those two guys meet in college, they'll end up being the next generation's Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong. __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

05-25-2007, 08:39 AM	#167
smurfalicious Tool. Not the band - you are one. Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 501 Northlake Blvd., North Palm Beach FL Posts: 329	I had a bad day (I work for attorneys... so, you know, most of them are) and I was explaining to Scully, my 6 year old daughter, upon picking her up from school, that I had had a bad day, and to please be on extra good behavior for a little while until I was able to improve my attitude. She asked why it was a bad day, and I explained that I had had a disagreement with Mr. Bill, one of the attorneys, and I felt as though he was being terribly unfair and blaming me for a problem that he created. Now, normally, I didn't go into detail like this, but around that time, she had a habit of coming home and complaining every day about someone in her class and how they "ruined" her whole day by skipping her inline, or not wanting to play her game, or some other equally silly thing, so I was trying to point out that it happens to everyone, and that sometimes you need to talk and have a few minutes to change your attitude. I was trying to set an example. Well, it so happens that there was a teacher work day the following day, and I had to take Scully into work with me. We weren't there an hour when Mr. Bill, who had previously spoken to me earlier that morning and we had resolved our issue, came up to me and handed me a piece of paper that had been given to him by my daughter. It read: To Mister Bill I hered you havent ben nice to my mommy so can you be more nicer to her and if you want to no hoo toled me it is my mommy Love Scully Now, not only did she completely embarrass me, but then she totally made it a point to throw me under the bus. No loyalty, I tell ya! __________________

05-25-2007, 09:20 AM	#168
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Smurf, that is great! __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

05-25-2007, 09:25 AM	#169
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Under the bus?! No, no no nonono... the truth will set you free! You have a fierce advocate there, a champion dedicated to the defense of her beloved mother. You have done very well as a mother and I am awed by your articulate, self possessed, loving daughter. You have a lot to be proud of. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

05-25-2007, 09:38 AM	#170
smurfalicious Tool. Not the band - you are one. Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 501 Northlake Blvd., North Palm Beach FL Posts: 329	lol, okay, you might have a point BigV... but how about the times when she was about 3 years old when we were in public restrooms and she asked if I wiped good, or what was that white thing going in my vagina... (my apologies for TMI) __________________

05-25-2007, 09:42 PM	#171
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Our summer pool opens tomorrrow. Tonight board members and members who helped prepare the pool got a sneak preview. Thor (5) was so excited. He remembered how last year (when he had just learned to bike without training wheels and was tiny and cute and stole all heart in the bike parade) he got the "speared award". The way they say Spirit round here sounds like speared, so I said "Oh the spirit award?" He said "No, speared. SPEARED. spelled SPIRD." So I said do you mean like a good team member, having fun? He said "No , Speared, like warrior". Well he's proud of it anyway. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-26-2007, 08:26 AM	#174
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Jacquelita's daughter yesterday: "Hey Mom, I got the Pepsi scholarship. It's like $500." Jac: "That's great! What did they say you did to earn it?" Daughter: "I dunno... I didn't think I had a chance at getting anything, so I didn't pay attention until they called my name."

06-01-2007, 12:35 PM	#175
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	My son's second grade class went on a field trip to Dutch Wonderland this week. Mrs. Dallas went along as a chaperone. Among other things, they saw a play. Two of my son's friends decided they really liked the princess... liked her so much, in fact, that they went up to her and gave her their phone numbers. (I asked my son if he did too, and he said no. When I asked him why not, he said, "That's just idiotic. I mean, she must be, like, 20!")

06-01-2007, 01:51 PM	#176
smurfalicious Tool. Not the band - you are one. Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 501 Northlake Blvd., North Palm Beach FL Posts: 329	Not funny, but friggin beautiful... (as I'm tucking her into bed, age 5) Mommy? Yeah? I know what I want to be when I grow up. Oh really? What have you decided on this week? I don't want to be a teacher or a builder. I want to be an artist. Some people are just meant to be something. __________________

06-04-2007, 05:24 AM	#178
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Tonight we were having a bit of a talk after dinner and hubby and I were giving our oldest boy a bit of stick about the number of girlfriends he has had, at which point I stated that he'd changed g/f's more often than he'd changed his underpants. His response to this was, "I've only had 7 g/f's. I've changed my undies 10 times this year." __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

06-05-2007, 01:33 PM	#179
smurfalicious Tool. Not the band - you are one. Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 501 Northlake Blvd., North Palm Beach FL Posts: 329	today's gem... __________________

07-03-2007, 04:46 PM	#180
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	My 5-year-old stepson came up out of nowhere today and asked me, "You know that woman, that relative on the syrup bottle?" Long pause. "Uh... You mean Aunt Jemima?" "Yeah!" "What about her?" "Why do you think they put her on the bottle?" "Well, I think maybe they hope people will think she looks like she's a really good cook, so the syrup must be really tasty." "Oh. My mom says that they chose her because her skin is the color of maple syrup." ... "Uh... Okay. That's... a strange thing for your mom to think."

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