Dwellar Secrets

[monster]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

1.) I have had recurring plantar's warts on my feet for years. Dr. Scholl's bandaids fix 'em up good though.

.

Brits call 'em verrucas. That's why the name is so funny in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. My pediatrician is married to a Brit, so never corrected/edumacated me, and it wasn't until one of Hebe's got so bad it needed freezing off and I had to make an appointment with the receptionist that I learned that Americans don't call them that.

[infinite monkey]

You guys will never believe this one: I have imperfections. I know, I know. Screws me up sometimes too.

Also, back in aught 5, I killed a family of 37 mormons. They were at the movies eating popcorn and talking, and they pissed me off. WTF does a bunch of mormons want with seeing The Wedding Crashers, anyway?

I think that's all.

[footfootfoot]

not secret as much as factoidal:
By the time I was 30 I had moved over 40 times. Since then, I've moved 12 more times.

[kerosene]

I had 7 different jobs in 2006. Taxes were a bitch in 2007.

[Pete Zicato]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

not secret as much as factoidal:
By the time I was 30 I had moved over 40 times. Since then, I've moved 12 more times.

I've heard it's a rough life living on the lam.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Pete Zicato

I've heard it's a rough life living on the lam.

"I don't know but I've been told it's hard to run with the weight of gold.
On the other hand, I've heard it said it's just as hard with the weight of lead...

One way or another this darkness has got to give."

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Yaa-aaa-aaaaah, it is.

And if he'd stay away from the lambs he wouldn't have to move so much [/groucho impression]

It would seem I am knowledgeable, if not expert

Farmer Wilson walks over to Farmer Jones' place and says
"Jones, I got me a problem and I gotta to go to court - I need a lawyer, do you know any?" Farmer Jones replies, "yeah, I know a couple of those guys. One is a hell of a trial lawyer, great guy but expensive as hell; the other, not so great, but the guy sure knows how to pick a jury and he's a lot cheaper." Wilson thanks his buddy and moves on thinking to himself, well I don't have a lot of money so I guess I know what I have to do.


Wilson's day in court finally comes and the first witness called to the stand is his neighbor Mrs. Smith. Mrs. Smith is sworn in and the prosecuter asks her, "Mrs. Smith, would you please tell the court what you saw on the day in question. "Why yes I can", she says, "I was doing my dishes, looking out my window over the sink when I saw Farmer Wilson come out from behind his barn and grab one of his goats". Yes mam, and then what did you see? "Well after he grabbed that goat he proceeded to drop his pants and fornicate with that there goat!" Is that all mam? "Well no, after it seemed like he had his way with that goat, the goat turned around and proceeded to lick him clean!"


It was at this point of the testimony that one man on the jury turns to another man on the jury and says "you know, a good goat will do that"..

[Undertoad]

When I was fourteen, I lived across the road from a Mennonite family that had 15 kids.

They had a small farm that they worked, only enough farm to give the kids chores and keep them busy.

The father worked for Harrisburg Dairies, and every day he would drive home with his station wagon full of expired cartons of milk and such.

It was the kids' job to open up all the cartons and pour the milk into the trough for the pigs.

Sometimes I would help because it was so amazing. The pigs loved the stuff. Sometimes he would come home with eggnog, and I would reserve a pint of that for myself. Too good for the pigs.

The kids were not allowed to listen to radio or watch TV. They could only read the newspaper.

Their mom and dad were very nice folks though, and were thankful to me for being a friend to their lot, especially when I gave them all the little soccer balls and footballs I didn't need when I moved away after a year and a half.

[infinite monkey]

I've heard it's a rough life living on the lam.

Yaa-aaa-aaaaah, it is.

And if he'd stay away from the lambs he wouldn't have to move so much [/groucho impression]

[plthijinx]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

....snip....And if he'd stay away from the lambs he wouldn't have to move so much [/groucho impression]

if he used the rubber boots then they can't get away! or use the cliff method too. that works just as well!

[skysidhe]

sorry wrong boobs

[DanaC]

Oh verrucas! Yeah. I have one on each foot, right in the centre of the front pad of the foot. Been there for years. Can't bear the idea of a chiropadist mauling with my feet so I use the plasters.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Oh verrucas! Yeah. I have one on each foot, right in the centre of the front pad of the foot. Been there for years. Can't bear the idea of a chiropadist mauling with my feet so I use the plasters.

I had one in the same spot and it finally went away after I was running on a stony beach and landed on a sharp pointy rock directly in the center of the wart. It was one of the most painful things I've ever felt. Two days later the wart just fell out and never returned. I highly recommend running barefoot on stony beaches as an effective treatment modality.

[Clodfobble]

So is that the deal, the salicylic acid bandaids aren't really enough to kill it and they keep coming back in the same spot until they've been professionally frozen off? I have several that rotate so I haven't really noticed if they're coming back in the exact same spots or not. It's my own damn fault for going barefoot everywhere for years on end.

[Pete Zicato]

I had plantar warts a few years ago. Hurt like a mother.

I never go barefoot anymore. If it's farther that the bedroom to the bathroom, I put on flip-flops at least.

Verruca? That sounds like an oddball houseplant.

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by Pete Zicato

Verruca? That sounds like an oddball houseplant.

Reminds me of salt