Weird News

[orthodoc]

Enjoying an evening stroll - that's what we Canadians always say when we're up to something nefarious.

[footfootfoot]

Little Ferry Man Arrested in Hoboken after Vandalizing Downtown Bar

If a single clitoris can wreck a bar, imagine what an entire pussy could do.

(paging Helen of Troy...)

I didn't read the article, don't take me to task over the actual, irrelevant facts.

[Crimson Ghost]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Little Ferry Man Arrested in Hoboken after Vandalizing Downtown Bar

If a single clitoris can wreck a bar, imagine what an entire pussy could do.

(paging Helen of Troy...)

I didn't read the article, don't take me to task over the actual, irrelevant facts.

Make you go antiquing, use a duvet, and color coordinate your clothes.

[footfootfoot]

Alert: Escaped Ukrainian navy dolphins may have guns

• Killer Ukrainian dolphins on the loose
• Dolphins are trained by navy to blow stuff up
• Possibly just looking for dolphin love, not known when they'll return

WE interrupt your morning coffee to bring you extremely worrying news of three rogue dolphins on the loose.

In even more worrying news, the dolphins almost certainly have pistols and/or knives strapped to their heads and possibly their fins.

Here's the most frightening thing of all. This is not a gee-up. We repeat, this is not a gee-up.

If you still think it is a gee-up, you clearly haven't been paying attention to the Russian International News Agency RIA Novosti, which overnight reported that three of the Ukrainian navy's killer dolphins are on the loose.

Yes, killer Ukrainian Dolphins. There were five in the force and they all went rogue earlier this month. Two came back after a few days. But the other three are still out there...

[xoxoxoBruce]

On the day of the papal conclave, faces at the scandal-struck Vatican are probably even redder than usual after it has emerged that the Holy See had purchased a €23 million (£21 million) share of a Rome apartment block that houses Europe’s biggest gay sauna. The senior Vatican figure sweating the most due to the unlikely proximity of the gay Europa Multiclub is probably Cardinal Ivan Dias, the head of the Congregation for Evangelisation of Peoples, who is due to participate in today’s election at the Sistine Chapel.

link

[orthodoc]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

They fail to say whether the escaped dolphins are Orthodox

Of course they are; they're just living it up during Cheese Week and the Butter Festival. Come the start of Great Lent next Monday, they'll be sober, fasting, humble dolphins. Their fins will ache from making prostrations and they'll come back to port looking for their borscht and black bread.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by orthodoc

Of course they are; they're just living it up during Cheese Week and the Butter Festival. Come the start of Great Lent next Monday, they'll be sober, fasting, humble dolphins. Their fins will ache from making prostrations and they'll come back to port looking for their borscht and black bread.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Methinks I detect some Canadian optimism there.

[ZenGum]

Commando dolphins gone rogue ... or are they just on an expedition to take out some flying sharks?

[footfootfoot]

But are they on the same side as the bear cavalry?

[Gravdigr]

The dolpins broke free not just any old time...They waited to be armed...It was premeditated.

That's right...
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They did it on porpoise.




I'm here all week. Try the Unicorn brisket.

[BigV]

:snicker:

[Gravdigr]

Penis-Snatching Panics Resurface in Africa

In a recent issue of "Pacific Standard" magazine, Louisa Lombard, an anthropologist at the University of California at Berkeley, described visiting a small town in the Central African Republic where she encountered two men who claimed that their penises had been stolen.

It seems that the day before, a traveler visiting the town had shaken hands with a tea vendor who immediately claimed he felt a shock and sensed that his penis had shrunk. He cried out in alarm, gathering a crowd, and a second man then said it also happened to him.

This is not the setup to a joke; it is a real psychological disorder called koro in which victims (mostly men, but sometimes women) come to believe that their genitals are shrinking or retracting into the body. The concern is not only for their sexuality, but also for their lives, since they believe that the condition may be life threatening if not reversed. In order to prevent further shrinkage, victims have been known to securely tie their penises with string or metal clamps — even sometimes having family members hold it in relays until treatment can be sought, usually from shamen or traditional healers.

The condition has most often been found in Africa in recent decades, though it has also been widely reported in Asia.

"In recent years, news media in several West African countries have reported periodic episodes of 'panic' in which men and women are beaten, sometimes to death, after being accused of causing penises, breasts, and vaginas to shrink or disappear," wrote Vivian Dzokoto and Glenn Adams in a study published in 2005 in the journal Culture, Medicine and Psychiatry. "At least 56 separate cases of genital shrinking, disappearance, and snatching have been reported in the last seven years [1998-2005] by news media of seven West African countries."

Victims of koro usually believe that a touch or "accidental" brush with a stranger caused the theft, in the same way that a pickpocket might steal a wallet.Dzokotoand Adams give one example of a 17-year-old man in Ghana who "claimed that he had gone to fetch water for his father and was returning when [the perpetrator] came behind him, touched him and immediately he felt his penis shrink until it was no longer visible."

Koro can be understood in a variety of ways; from a psychological perspective it can be seen as an example of mass hysteria or delusion, in which a collective cultural belief can be manifested in one person's experience — whether objectively "real" or not.

"Victims of genitalia-shrinking panics recover within hours or days after being convinced that the 'illness' is over or never existed, and most clearly lack any psychosexual problems," write sociologist Robert Bartholomew and myself, in the book "Hoaxes, Myths, and Mania: Why We Need Critical Thinking".

"Penis-shrinking panics are a timely reminder that no one is immune from mass delusions and that the influence of culture and society on individual behavior is far greater than most of us would like to admit. Yet the main reason for the absence of penis-shrinking epidemics in Western societies is their incredible nature ... but any delusion is possible if the false belief underlying it is plausible."

In this case the delusion is made possible by the underlying belief in witchcraft, or black magic. A 2010 Gallup poll found that belief in magic is widespread throughout sub-Saharan Africa, with over half of respondents saying they personally believe in witchcraft. Studies in 18 countries in sub-Saharan Africa show belief varies widely, but on average 55 percent of people polled believe in witchcraft.Because most Westerners do not believe in magic — or at least not in the variety that has the potential to shrink or steal someone's genitals — there is no underlying belief system that would make koro plausible and thus no one reports it.

No one has ever died from koro, at least not directly. Belief in koro can have deadly consequences: hundreds of people have been accused of stealing (or shrinking) other people's genitals, and dozens have been killed for the accusations. In many cases koro "victims" have shouted and asked bystanders to help apprehend the penis thief, whereupon the accused people — often as surprised as everyone else and protesting their innocence — have been lynched on the spot by street mobs, much the way an accused mugger or rapist might be set upon by "street justice."

[DanaC]

I got this far:

"At least 56 separate cases of genital shrinking, disappearance, and snatching

And was too convulsed with laughter to continue reading.

[footfootfoot]

It happened to me and it's not funny. Luckily, I got these pills on the internet...