Quotes and Stuff

[Gravdigr]

Two more by Gen. Mattis, I love this guy:

Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.

~One of the rules Mattis gave his Marines to live by in Iraq.
_______________________________________________

For decades, Saddam Hussein has tortured, imprisoned, raped and murdered the Iraqi people; invaded neighboring countries without provocation; and threatened the world with weapons of mass destruction. The time has come to end his reign of terror. On your young shoulders rest the hopes of mankind. When I give you the word, together we will cross the Line of Departure, close with those forces that choose to fight, and destroy them. Our fight is not with the Iraqi people, nor is it with members of the Iraqi army who choose to surrender. While we will move swiftly and aggressively against those who resist, we will treat all others with decency, demonstrating chivalry and soldierly compassion for people who have endured a lifetime under Saddam’s oppression. Chemical attack, treachery, and use of the innocent as human shields can be expected, as can other unethical tactics. Take it all in stride. Be the hunter, not the hunted: never allow your unit to be caught with its guard down. Use good judgment and act in best interests of our Nation. You are part of the world’s most feared and trusted force. Engage your brain before you engage your weapon. Share your courage with each other as we enter the uncertain terrain north of the Line of Departure. Keep faith in your comrades on your left and right and Marine Air overhead. Fight with a happy heart and strong spirit. For the mission’s sake, our country’s sake, and the sake of the men who carried the Division’s colors in the past battles-who fought for life and never lost their nerve-carry out your mission and keep your honor clean. Demonstrate to the world there is "No Better Friend, No Worse Enemy" than a U.S. Marine.

OO-fuckin'-RAH!

I bet Marines fall all over themselves to fight for this motherfucker. I read that last quote and wanted to run into battle myself.

[Gravdigr]

“I said to her something like: ‘Thank you for speaking. God bless you. I will pray for you. But you have not been helpful’.”

~Brother Noah, of the Monastery of Christ in the Desert, in New Mexico, after speaking with United Airlines' Customer Service

Yes, they made a monk lose his temper.

[Gravdigr]

Today my twin brother, womb-mate and best friend went home to be with the Lord.

~Andre Crouch's sister, Sandra

Womb-mate?!?!?! Rly?

[Gravdigr]

...the first intelligent you've done.

~Justice Scalia, after Justice Ginsburg recounted dozing off during Obama's State of the Union address.

[Gravdigr]

Fromunda the mug:

I always figured that it said a lot about a company when you consider that their basic premise for assuming you may do drugs is grounded in the fact that you want to work for them.

~buzzoff (Buzz O'Feinstein)

[Gravdigr]

“We’ll continue to have Internet Explorer, but we’ll also have a new browser called Project Spartan, which is codenamed Project Spartan...”

~Microsoft’s marketing chief Chris Capossela, on finally killing off Internet Explorer

[classicman]

Will it still suck as bad as IE?

[DanaC]

Nothing could ever suck that bad

[Gravdigr]

If it sucks better than IE, will it be better, or, worse?

[DanaC]

Umm....good question...

[Crimson Ghost]

“We’ll continue to have Internet Explorer, but we’ll also have a new browser called Project Spartan, which is codenamed Project Spartan...”

I seem to have found a flaw in your otherwise perfect plan...

[xoxoxoBruce]

Don't be silly, that's not a flaw, it's a feature.

[xoxoxoBruce]

White Livered Widders
(from AppalachianHistory.net and Project MUSE)

In the Southern Appalachians, and particularly among the older generation, it might be heard of someone that they are white-livered. Though this phrase is now quite rare, it was once well-known and provides an interesting look at folk medicine in Appalachian history.

White-livered means having an abnormally high sex drive that incapacitates or kills a spouse by draining them of their vitality through incessant sex. One of the earliest mentions of this comes from a Vance Randolph study: “When a lively, buxom, good-looking woman loses several husbands by death, it is often said that her inordinate passion has ‘killed ‘em off,’ and she is referred to as a white-livered widder (or widow).” Usually the phrase was only a figure of speech, but it was sometimes believed that a “high nature” created white spots on the liver, and that if one were to marry three times, their liver would automatically turn white. Some believed that being white-livered correlated with having bad blood, which was a euphemism for syphilis, and transferred the fatal disease to the sexual deviants’ victims.

The phrase was mostly applied to women, leading some to believe that its popularity died off when people realized that women can have sexual appetites without being ill.

[Gravdigr]

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

~Garrison Keillor

[Gravdigr]

He was a person you wanted to be around because he always made you feel better.

~Richard Petty, on the passing of NASCAR giant (literally, he was 6'6") Buddy Baker