What's upsetting you today? - Page 192

Treasenuak · 11-12-2008, 10:56 AM

Well, as if dealing with Mick and my child going to Hawaii for a long period of time and a new job and the ex and everything attendant to that wasn't enough, further excrement hath hit air conditioning.

Allow me to explain. No, that will take to long. Let me sum up.

The ex, who shall heretofore be referred to as "B", has a sister. Let's call her "S". S is 16 years old and a bit sheltered. B has confided in her EVERYTHING about our marital split... except for the parts that make him look bad. In other words, S knows I took the baby and left, and that B is very broken up about the fact that his daughter is so far away, yadda yadda yadda. So S leaves me a comment on Myspace about how I've ruined B's life, how she'll never see her niece again, and so on. So I comment back and politely remind her that there's two sides to every story, and perhaps she should hear both of them this time before jumping to conclusions. The reply I get is basically "You're lying, I don't want to hear it, my brother is a great guy and he could never do anything to you that would justify you treating him this way." Again, I responded as politely as I could, while gritting my teeth in frustration, that she really doesn't understand the issues involved here, and needs to either hear both sides of the story, or back off. The response I get? "You have no idea how much B tells me, I know everything that happened, I will never forgive you even if he does, and you better hope you never come into my presence again because if you do I don't know if I can control my temper." That was the essence of it... it was a lot wordier than that, but I really don't see the need to repeat the whole thing here. Why is the opinion of a 16-year-old high schooler upsetting me so much? Because she and I used to be GREAT friends, before her "perfect" brother lost HIS temper and beat the fuck out of me and raped me, and I left and filed a report with NCIS and he's now filling her head with what a horrible person I am.

Sorry. Done ranting now.

Pico and ME · 11-12-2008, 10:57 AM

SG, Im a stranger to you (considering my short time here so far), but I have come to really admire and respect you. You are in my thoughts and I am sending my best wishes and hopes for a better outcome your way.

Pie · 11-12-2008, 11:21 AM

Oh Treas. Looks like she is purposefully trying to hurt you, to get back at you, for hurting her "perfect brother". You have to think of her as an extension of him at this point. She's chosen sides, and in her case, she landed on the side of shared biology.

classicman · 11-12-2008, 12:55 PM

Thats SOP for a divorce type of situation. Been there, had that done to me (the lies part). It is too early yet in your situation with emotions still running crazy. Things change over time. You can explain your side to her and let her have a year or so to reflect upon it, maybe she will see, maybe not either way you tried. Thats all you can do.

limey · 11-12-2008, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Not really upsetting, but as of tomorrow I am officially unemployed.
I've come to a parting of the ways with EEA.

I'm not going to go into it all here, suffice to say we had a difference of opinion and I felt it was best all round to resign. Since I reached that decision they have behaved impeccably, I admit.

I'm not quite sure what to do with myself now. I'm probably going home this weekend to have a serious talk with my parents. I'm not in the most stable of positions right now, as I based my ability to pay the rent on my (good) salary. I'd be very lucky to find something that paid the same in the next month, especially without a good reference.

Well I'll see what Mum & Dad say. I hope they'll accept me back for a couple of months and let me find my feet. Funny how even 6 months ago the idea horrified me, but now I am seriously hoping they'll consider it. I'm beginning to get tired of the rollercoaster I'm afraid.

Anyway, I'm not too down, oddly enough. I've not cried, got drunk or gone into the usual freefall panic mode. It's just one of those things and one way or another I'll get through it.

Funny the difference a week makes.

EEA won't necessarily refuse to give you a good reference, especially if they're taking your decision in their stride at the moment. Just because you've disagreed doesn't mean they'll want to spoil your chances of future employment.
Meanwhile, I hope you know how we're all on your side here, admiring the way you're holding it together.
Hugs, definitely.

Cicero · 11-13-2008, 10:25 AM

Umm...My heart is shattered into 50 million pieces. It's so cliche to say that, but that's exactly how it feels. So there isn't a better way to say it, outside of saying that there is a feeling, that there is a light film of hell sticking to my reality. I can see through it but that doesn't keep the hell from being there. I can't sleep. I wake up too early, and then I can't pull it together. I'm usually high-functioning but I can't concentrate when my heart hurts, and I just cry when I have to talk to anyone. I need to think right now, but I can't concentrate. Why does my body fail me when I need it the most? I need it to get in gear like a little trooper. I'll give it a couple more hours to shape up. What a crybaby. Waah. I hope that when I am done whining I actually get something accomplished.

Fu**. My body does what it wants sometimes because it's stupid. I tell it one thing and it does something else.

Pie · 11-13-2008, 10:43 AM

Maybe I missed it -- what the hell happened, Cic?

Shawnee123 · 11-13-2008, 10:46 AM

Yeah, Cic...we're here for you if you feel like talking.

Sorry, hon.

skysidhe · 11-13-2008, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cicero

I hope that when I am done I actually get something accomplished.

You will!

I understand because someone I know mirrors those same words.

Cicero · 11-13-2008, 11:12 AM

My husband wants a divorce. I have to move out. Of course the truck is his, so I have to find somewhere to live in town that allows pets, and is close enough to the job I'm not even technically employed at yet. My parents are right, I might have to move to Mississippi, as I don't have any friends or family here, and not much of a job to go to. This is an expensive place for one income and the real jobs are scant.

Do I say fuck it, I can't make it on my own out here like this? Ask my mom to hit the highway and pick me up so I can load up the vehicle and pup?

Or do I get on craigslist and search for house share situations or an apartment, and live on my own like I always have?

I've always lived on my own outside of the brief marriage I've had, and a couple of roommates.

So my husband seems final about it. I have to get my act together and make some decisions. Except every time I stand up to put myself together I cry. I need to get out of here and start hunting today. Or make the call to my mummy. There really isn't anything in this town for me, as I haven't even made a close friend since living here. Just all work and life in the country.....

My mom wants me to stay here until I've been to more appointments with the doctors that I've made. It's just a toss. I don't know. Everything was normal 2 days ago, and now I have a new life to start, that from this vantage point, seems a little dismal. Oh well. I'll try to move about some more. My puppy seems bored with my current attitude. Small miracle, I don't have to work today.

Ok I'm getting up and at it. Thanks for listening. I can't start dysfunctional habits now.. I just have to do.

Sundae · 11-13-2008, 11:15 AM

Shit!
Oh Cic I'm so sorry.

DanaC · 11-13-2008, 11:20 AM

Christ, Cic, I'm so sorry. What a kick in the guts. *hugs*

Don't beat yourself up over going back to your mum's though. It's the done thing *smiles* I know I did it when me and J split. It might even do you good. There's something nourishing about going back to base for a bit. And something major like this isnt something you should have to cope with alone.

I hope you get it together, and you know where we are if you need to vent.

Pie · 11-13-2008, 11:39 AM

I'm so sorry, Cic. There's no shame in leaning on your parents at a time like this, so don't see it as some sort of personal failure.

Just hang in there.

Pico and ME · 11-13-2008, 11:40 AM

Go to your Moms Cic. You can figure out the rest of your life from there. Its one way to get rid of the hell-tainted film on your life. I know how that film looks and feels...action is the best reaction.

classicman · 11-13-2008, 12:46 PM

Sorry for your troubles Cic. Perhaps you may want to just go back home and regroup. Thats what I did and it turned out to be a really good thing for me mentally, emotionally... all around.

11-12-2008, 11:21 AM	#2868
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Oh Treas. Looks like she is purposefully trying to hurt you, to get back at you, for hurting her "perfect brother". You have to think of her as an extension of him at this point. She's chosen sides, and in her case, she landed on the side of shared biology. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

11-12-2008, 12:55 PM	#2869
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Thats SOP for a divorce type of situation. Been there, had that done to me (the lies part). It is too early yet in your situation with emotions still running crazy. Things change over time. You can explain your side to her and let her have a year or so to reflect upon it, maybe she will see, maybe not either way you tried. Thats all you can do. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

11-13-2008, 10:25 AM	#2871
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Umm...My heart is shattered into 50 million pieces. It's so cliche to say that, but that's exactly how it feels. So there isn't a better way to say it, outside of saying that there is a feeling, that there is a light film of hell sticking to my reality. I can see through it but that doesn't keep the hell from being there. I can't sleep. I wake up too early, and then I can't pull it together. I'm usually high-functioning but I can't concentrate when my heart hurts, and I just cry when I have to talk to anyone. I need to think right now, but I can't concentrate. Why does my body fail me when I need it the most? I need it to get in gear like a little trooper. I'll give it a couple more hours to shape up. What a crybaby. Waah. I hope that when I am done whining I actually get something accomplished. Fu. My body does what it wants sometimes because it's stupid. I tell it one thing and it does something else. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

11-13-2008, 10:43 AM	#2872
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Maybe I missed it -- what the hell happened, Cic? __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

11-13-2008, 10:46 AM	#2873
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Yeah, Cic...we're here for you if you feel like talking. Sorry, hon. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

11-12-2008, 10:56 AM	#2866
Treasenuak Multiorgasmic and wrapped in plastic Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Central Tennessee Posts: 483	Well, as if dealing with Mick and my child going to Hawaii for a long period of time and a new job and the ex and everything attendant to that wasn't enough, further excrement hath hit air conditioning. Allow me to explain. No, that will take to long. Let me sum up. The ex, who shall heretofore be referred to as "B", has a sister. Let's call her "S". S is 16 years old and a bit sheltered. B has confided in her EVERYTHING about our marital split... except for the parts that make him look bad. In other words, S knows I took the baby and left, and that B is very broken up about the fact that his daughter is so far away, yadda yadda yadda. So S leaves me a comment on Myspace about how I've ruined B's life, how she'll never see her niece again, and so on. So I comment back and politely remind her that there's two sides to every story, and perhaps she should hear both of them this time before jumping to conclusions. The reply I get is basically "You're lying, I don't want to hear it, my brother is a great guy and he could never do anything to you that would justify you treating him this way." Again, I responded as politely as I could, while gritting my teeth in frustration, that she really doesn't understand the issues involved here, and needs to either hear both sides of the story, or back off. The response I get? "You have no idea how much B tells me, I know everything that happened, I will never forgive you even if he does, and you better hope you never come into my presence again because if you do I don't know if I can control my temper." That was the essence of it... it was a lot wordier than that, but I really don't see the need to repeat the whole thing here. Why is the opinion of a 16-year-old high schooler upsetting me so much? Because she and I used to be GREAT friends, before her "perfect" brother lost HIS temper and beat the fuck out of me and raped me, and I left and filed a report with NCIS and he's now filling her head with what a horrible person I am. Sorry. Done ranting now.

11-12-2008, 10:57 AM	#2867
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	SG, Im a stranger to you (considering my short time here so far), but I have come to really admire and respect you. You are in my thoughts and I am sending my best wishes and hopes for a better outcome your way.

11-13-2008, 11:12 AM	#2875
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	My husband wants a divorce. I have to move out. Of course the truck is his, so I have to find somewhere to live in town that allows pets, and is close enough to the job I'm not even technically employed at yet. My parents are right, I might have to move to Mississippi, as I don't have any friends or family here, and not much of a job to go to. This is an expensive place for one income and the real jobs are scant. Do I say fuck it, I can't make it on my own out here like this? Ask my mom to hit the highway and pick me up so I can load up the vehicle and pup? Or do I get on craigslist and search for house share situations or an apartment, and live on my own like I always have? I've always lived on my own outside of the brief marriage I've had, and a couple of roommates. So my husband seems final about it. I have to get my act together and make some decisions. Except every time I stand up to put myself together I cry. I need to get out of here and start hunting today. Or make the call to my mummy. There really isn't anything in this town for me, as I haven't even made a close friend since living here. Just all work and life in the country..... My mom wants me to stay here until I've been to more appointments with the doctors that I've made. It's just a toss. I don't know. Everything was normal 2 days ago, and now I have a new life to start, that from this vantage point, seems a little dismal. Oh well. I'll try to move about some more. My puppy seems bored with my current attitude. Small miracle, I don't have to work today. Ok I'm getting up and at it. Thanks for listening. I can't start dysfunctional habits now.. I just have to do. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

11-13-2008, 11:15 AM	#2876
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Shit! Oh Cic I'm so sorry.

11-13-2008, 11:20 AM	#2877
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Christ, Cic, I'm so sorry. What a kick in the guts. hugs Don't beat yourself up over going back to your mum's though. It's the done thing smiles I know I did it when me and J split. It might even do you good. There's something nourishing about going back to base for a bit. And something major like this isnt something you should have to cope with alone. I hope you get it together, and you know where we are if you need to vent.

11-13-2008, 11:39 AM	#2878
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	I'm so sorry, Cic. There's no shame in leaning on your parents at a time like this, so don't see it as some sort of personal failure. Just hang in there. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

11-13-2008, 11:40 AM	#2879
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	Go to your Moms Cic. You can figure out the rest of your life from there. Its one way to get rid of the hell-tainted film on your life. I know how that film looks and feels...action is the best reaction.

11-13-2008, 12:46 PM	#2880
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Sorry for your troubles Cic. Perhaps you may want to just go back home and regroup. Thats what I did and it turned out to be a really good thing for me mentally, emotionally... all around. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

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