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Old 09-22-2009, 11:35 PM   #2896
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Joke young, cat old?

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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:16 PM   #2897
Spexxvet
Makes some feel uncomfortable
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveDallas View Post
"T-square?" How old is that joke?
Older than my slide rule :p
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:21 PM   #2898
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
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I'll see your t-square and slide-rule and raise you a protractor.
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:26 PM   #2899
glatt
 
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you can find the protractor in the communal bin. It has a sticker with my daughter's name on it.
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Old 09-23-2009, 09:51 PM   #2900
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
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It's easy to pick out because it's such a lovely color.
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Old 09-23-2009, 10:08 PM   #2901
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
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is it a red swingline protractor?
Attached Images
 
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 09-24-2009, 06:02 AM   #2902
Gravdigr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spexxvet View Post
Older than my slide rule :p
Is that what ya call it?
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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
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Old 09-24-2009, 12:43 PM   #2903
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Old 09-28-2009, 02:57 PM   #2904
skysidhe
~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~
 
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lol @MJ

I found this yesterday. It is a little long but entertaining.


1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid clich?s like the plague. (They're old hat.)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as clich?s.

16. Don't use no double negatives.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

23. DO NOT use exclamation points and all caps to emphasize!!!

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

34. The passive voice should never be used.

35. Do not put statements in the negative form.

36. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

37. A writer must not shift your point of view.

38. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

39. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

40. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

41. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

42. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

43. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

44. Always pick on the correct idiom.

45. The adverb always follows the verb.

46. Be careful to use the rite homonym.

47. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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Old 09-28-2009, 03:34 PM   #2905
Spexxvet
Makes some feel uncomfortable
 
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remember to never split an infinitive.
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Old 09-28-2009, 07:31 PM   #2906
ZenGum
Doctor Wtf
 
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That's still better writing than most of the essays I have to mark. :p
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:21 PM   #2907
Trilby
Slattern of the Swail
 
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"I believe you should not use a passive voice."

"I think you should avoid the passive voice."

"Perhaps you should avoid the passive voice."
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie


Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:48 PM   #2908
skysidhe
~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~
 
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They're certainly easier rules to remember than any I've been taught...and forgotten.
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Old 09-28-2009, 08:55 PM   #2909
Trilby
Slattern of the Swail
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skysidhe View Post
They're certainly easier rules to remember than any I've been taught...and forgotten.
I pasted and copied them. I will refer to them often! I think they're great!
Each kid gets a copy, too.
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie


Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
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Old 09-28-2009, 09:22 PM   #2910
capnhowdy
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Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.
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