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Old 05-21-2016, 08:52 AM   #16
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
You misspelled border.
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
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Old 05-21-2016, 09:10 AM   #17
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
+100 for a doctorate. That's a lot of work
+50 for a masters
+25 bachelor's degree
-50 for having more than 3 cats
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Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:21 AM   #18
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
+10 if you or your child got a SSN before graduating high school.
+5 if your or your child got a SSN while in college.
+5 if you've received a gift that says World's Best/#1 - mom/dad, aunt/uncle, son/daughter...etc.
+5 if you've been arrested (speeding tickets, while technically an arrest, don't count).
-50 if you've been arrested and convicted (for not being cool enough to beat the rap).
+10 for having been in public service.
-10 for getting into public service by being elected.
+5 if you've made a parachute jump (tandem jumps don't count).
+5 more if you've made a parachute jump from over 20,000 ft.
+5 if you have an emergency cache; or, bug-out bag at home (lists alone don't count).
+5 more if you have an emergency cache; or, bug-out bag at home AND with you while travelling.
+5 if you've been certified to do CPR.
+10 if you share a hobby with a relative of another generation.
+5 if you have a sockpuppet (anonymous doesn't count).
-5 if you have more than one sockpuppet.
+100 if you're a lurker who's never posted in The Cellar (you must post to validate your points).
-100 if you've posted in The Cellar; but, never started a thread (waivered if you've started a Social Group).
+15 if you've posted your NSFW selfie in the any of the annual Dwellar NSFW threads.
+5 if you've ever had a pet.
-5 if you've ever eaten a so-called pet.
+20 if you've ever stooped so low as to help a child (other than your own).
+1 if you have a sexy username.
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:29 AM   #19
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
Do eyebrows count as facial hair?
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:32 AM   #20
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
If they're connected.
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:35 AM   #21
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC View Post
+100 if you have a bearded collie
Quote:
Originally Posted by sexobon View Post


-5 if you've ever eaten a so-called pet.
+95 if you've ever eaten a breaded collie
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:39 AM   #22
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
Quote:
Originally Posted by sexobon View Post
... +1 if you have a sexy username.
Find a dwellar with a foot fetish and you've got yourself a point.
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Old 05-21-2016, 09:35 PM   #23
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
+15 habitually singing un-self-consciously even if you suck
+5 per book you've read in the last year
-50 facial hair (I'm sorry, but these are my rules, make your own)
+50 glasses
+25 dressing nicer than you have to
-50 getting on social media every day
+30 getting on the cellar every day
+30 starting at 15 years married/partnered, plus 2 points per year for every year after.
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Old 05-21-2016, 10:28 PM   #24
glatt
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
+5 for each instance of quitting a book when you realize you don't like it after all
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Old 05-21-2016, 11:24 PM   #25
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
-69 every time your treatment of someone it dictated by their gender (e.g. holding a door open for a "lady")
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 05-21-2016, 11:41 PM   #26
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perpetual Chaos
Posts: 30,852
positives

+25 having a pet other than a cat or dog
+10 using a word with 5 syllables or more in conversation before noon
+13 if you've ever legally changed your name
+6 squatting down to talk to a child unrelated to your job or family
+18 if you've ever parlayed a truly free upgrade on anything (personal not business)
+45 if you can ride a unicycle
+12 if you regularly wear an interesting hat (no baseball caps, wooly winter hats, work-required hats, bike helmets ....)
+30 if you can tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue
+65 if you've ever skiied to work
+10 if you've ever ordered your drink in twos
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 05-21-2016, 11:51 PM   #27
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clodfobble View Post
-50 facial hair (I'm sorry, but these are my rules, make your own)
I see what you did there.

You could have just said +50 for driving a minivan, but you knew that would be too obvious. Clever girl
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan
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Old 05-22-2016, 12:23 AM   #28
infinite monkey
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
Plus 500 for having a job.
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Old 05-22-2016, 01:02 AM   #29
sexobon
I love it when a plan comes together.
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
-69 every time your treatment of someone it dictated by their gender (e.g. holding a door open for a "lady")
+69 if you're a lady in public and a slut in the bedroom.
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Old 05-22-2016, 06:40 AM   #30
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
Quote:
Originally Posted by lumberjim View Post
I see what you did there.

You could have just said +50 for driving a minivan, but you knew that would be too obvious. Clever girl
Oh no no, because I don't think driving a minivan makes you cool. Actually, I think wanting to drive a cool car makes one uncool, because vehicles are way overrated. But minivans aren't inherently cool.

On the other hand, I've expressed my distaste for facial hair many times. The number of millimeters of facial hair a man has is directly proportional to my Kinsey Number.
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