Really Creative Insults - Page 2

footfootfoot · 03-21-2007, 10:34 PM

You may be drunk, but I'm Winston Churchill.

lumberjim · 03-21-2007, 10:43 PM

i'll rip your arm off and beat you with the wet end.

I will buttfuck you in the mouth, flint.

I'll fuck you 'til you love me.....mike tyson.

is that your head, or is your neck blowing bubbles?

your cock is assprone

i'd hit you, but i don't want to get stupid on my hands.......but shit splatters

zippyt · 03-21-2007, 10:58 PM

use your head for some thing besides a hat rack

I said this to some one once , his reply " I don't wear hats , you know that !!"

Sheldonrs · 03-21-2007, 11:13 PM

How many kinds of stupid are you trying to be?

Kagen4o4 · 03-21-2007, 11:35 PM

if you had another brain it'd be lonely

Crimson Ghost · 03-21-2007, 11:38 PM

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

After talking to you, I know why animals eat their young.

Sorry, I don't speak "shit-head".

Were you born a worthless, slimy piece of shit, or did you have to work at it?

If I had to choose between you and "Full Blown AIDS", I'll take the AIDS.

Sheldonrs · 03-21-2007, 11:51 PM

If you were the last woman on earth and I was the last man, you would be the last woman on earth and I would be the last man.

Aliantha · 03-22-2007, 02:35 AM

If you had half a brain it'd be lonely.

Larry · 03-22-2007, 04:34 AM

In response to any insult: "So's your face"

Sundae · 03-22-2007, 06:15 AM

If I wanted to hear from an arsehole I'd have farted

be-bop · 03-22-2007, 08:32 PM

There were a crowd of teenagers outside the local shop where I used to live and I must admit I'm overweight( but I'm kind to animals and sometime give to charity )so I'm not that bad a person,anyway passing these teenagers one of the young ladies remarked "Look at that fat c**t.
I thought this is not on and turned to her and told her in a voice that all her friends heard "I my well be a fat c**t but i can go on a diet and lose weight,but you'll always be an ugly cow.
The howls and cat calls she then got from her friends and her red face was a joy to see

BigV · 03-22-2007, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

If I wanted to hear from an arsehole I'd have farted

heheh... not an insult, but a parry-riposte:

1 -- Did you fart?!

2 -- Hell yes I farted! You don't think I smell like this all the time, do you?

melidasaur · 03-22-2007, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be-bop

There were a crowd of teenagers outside the local shop where I used to live and I must admit I'm overweight( but I'm kind to animals and sometime give to charity )so I'm not that bad a person,anyway passing these teenagers one of the young ladies remarked "Look at that fat c**t.
I thought this is not on and turned to her and told her in a voice that all her friends heard "I my well be a fat c**t but i can go on a diet and lose weight,but you'll always be an ugly cow.
The howls and cat calls she then got from her friends and her red face was a joy to see

BRAVO!!!! I totally commend you!

Crimson Ghost · 03-23-2007, 05:56 AM

If I want any shit out of you, I'll squeeze your head.

I'll bet your parents wish your mother swallowed.

You're gonna have a job with your name on your shirt.

You look just like Brian Peppers.

Shawnee123 · 03-23-2007, 10:02 AM

Loud mouth boisterous guy was sitting clear across the bar from me. Trying to show off, he yells "Hey Lisa, have you ever heard of 60 second sex?"

I'd heard this joke, and knew this was a great time to reinforce my "Queen of Quick Comebacks" title.

Innocently, I said "uh, no?"

He replied with the usual "Got a minute?"

I gave pause so everyone could chuckle at the joke before I said "Sure, but what are we going to do with the other 45 seconds?"

The look on his face and the cheers of the crowd made me feel pretty darn smug!

03-21-2007, 10:34 PM	#16
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	You may be drunk, but I'm Winston Churchill. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

03-21-2007, 10:43 PM	#17
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	i'll rip your arm off and beat you with the wet end. I will buttfuck you in the mouth, flint. I'll fuck you 'til you love me.....mike tyson. is that your head, or is your neck blowing bubbles? your cock is assprone i'd hit you, but i don't want to get stupid on my hands.......but shit splatters __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

03-21-2007, 10:58 PM	#18
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	use your head for some thing besides a hat rack I said this to some one once , his reply " I don't wear hats , you know that !!" __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

03-21-2007, 11:13 PM	#19
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	How many kinds of stupid are you trying to be? __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

03-21-2007, 11:35 PM	#20
Kagen4o4 The Sheriff of Nothingland Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Melbourne, Aus Posts: 1,794	if you had another brain it'd be lonely __________________ something we both can enjoy??

03-21-2007, 11:38 PM	#21
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. After talking to you, I know why animals eat their young. Sorry, I don't speak "shit-head". Were you born a worthless, slimy piece of shit, or did you have to work at it? If I had to choose between you and "Full Blown AIDS", I'll take the AIDS. __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

03-21-2007, 11:51 PM	#22
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	If you were the last woman on earth and I was the last man, you would be the last woman on earth and I would be the last man. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

03-22-2007, 02:35 AM	#23
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	If you had half a brain it'd be lonely. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

03-22-2007, 04:34 AM	#24
Larry Practically God Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 22	In response to any insult: "So's your face"

03-22-2007, 06:15 AM	#25
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	If I wanted to hear from an arsehole I'd have farted __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

03-22-2007, 08:32 PM	#26
be-bop Operations Operative Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: scotland/uk Posts: 664	There were a crowd of teenagers outside the local shop where I used to live and I must admit I'm overweight( but I'm kind to animals and sometime give to charity )so I'm not that bad a person,anyway passing these teenagers one of the young ladies remarked "Look at that fat ct. I thought this is not on and turned to her and told her in a voice that all her friends heard "I my well be a fat ct but i can go on a diet and lose weight,but you'll always be an ugly cow. The howls and cat calls she then got from her friends and her red face was a joy to see

03-23-2007, 05:56 AM	#29
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	If I want any shit out of you, I'll squeeze your head. I'll bet your parents wish your mother swallowed. You're gonna have a job with your name on your shirt. You look just like Brian Peppers. __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

03-23-2007, 10:02 AM	#30
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Loud mouth boisterous guy was sitting clear across the bar from me. Trying to show off, he yells "Hey Lisa, have you ever heard of 60 second sex?" I'd heard this joke, and knew this was a great time to reinforce my "Queen of Quick Comebacks" title. Innocently, I said "uh, no?" He replied with the usual "Got a minute?" I gave pause so everyone could chuckle at the joke before I said "Sure, but what are we going to do with the other 45 seconds?" The look on his face and the cheers of the crowd made me feel pretty darn smug! __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

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