Being a kid

[juju]

I got married last month, and my wife loves children.

I don't have a lot of experience with children, aside from having been one myself. I basically have no experience with children. So, we plan to have one after I get out of college, and we get stable financially.

This has led me to start thinking about the practice of raising children.

Here's what is I know about my own childhood.

I fucking hated it. Parents are dictators and children are the slaves. Children are seen as secondary citizens -- they are not even real people. Their opinions do not matter, and they are expected to 'do as they're told'. That parents profess to love their children is to my constant astonishment.

For example, when a kid is talking about something he thinks is cool, the parents often get bored with him and tell him to leave the room. This is bullshit. People's opinions matter -- especially if you love them.

To this day, my parents have never professed even a passing interest in anything I liked. Computers, Dungeons and Dragons, fantasy novels, everything I loved was seen as an obstacle to school. My mother seemed to make it a point to dislike everything I liked.

My father would always joke that they had me and my brother just so we could do chores for them. You were born so that I don't have to take out the trash. Do it, slave.

If I were to ask too many questions, I was told to shut up. If i was to bother my parents by speaking too much, I was told to be quiet, and go play.

My parents looked down on me. Although they professed to love me, they made it clear that I was not as good as they were. They were superior in every way. Oh, do you have an opinion? That's so sweet. Let's hear your "opinion", moron.

Please explain to me why I should love someone who does not value my opinion, hates everything that I love, and forces me to do menial labor purely for the goal of humiliation.


This is how I saw my life as a kid. Of course, now that i'm older, I have a much better relationship with my parents.

I understand being friends with someone means listening to their boring nonsense and pretending to be interested. In turn, they will listen to your boring drivel, and then you'll feel better about yourself. This epiphany helped me a lot in dealing with family.

Anyway, my point is, the above ranting applied when I was a kid -- it doesn't anymore. Since i'm no longer a kid, i'm no longer a second-class citizen in their eyes. I'm an equal now.

More to come on how i will apply this knowledge to raising own kids.