My 2 1/2 yearold is hitting! - Page 2

Stormieweather · 04-07-2008, 12:40 PM

Awesome!!

Alas, mine reverted over the weekend and did some biting. I need to do some more work with her on how to express her anger without hurting people.

ferret88 · 04-07-2008, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stormieweather

Awesome!!

Alas, mine reverted over the weekend and did some biting. I need to do some more work with her on how to express her anger without hurting people.

Yeah. That's what I thought.

Mine seems to express anger by yelling about it. She doesn't much get physical. The hitting has been for no apparent reason.

glatt · 04-07-2008, 06:43 PM

My kindergartener came home the other day and sheepishly told me he had to go see the vice-principal because he'd cut a classmate's hair.

It was April Fool's day. The little guy got me.

Shawnee123 · 04-08-2008, 08:26 AM

What a great sense of humor your kid has, glatt.

Agent-G · 04-22-2008, 10:20 PM

Spanking is incredibly effective, but it has to be done correctly. The best way to do that is to start kids when they are young. If they do something wrong, you spank them. You cannot spank in anger because that teaches them it is a way to act when you are angry.

You tell them no. If they dont listen, you tell them again. If it happens a third time you spank and tell them no again. You do this when they are young and you wont have to worry about it when they are older. They will associate you saying no with spanking.

It is a real contraversial subject because parents dont want to disipline with violence. But spanking isnt violence. It is punishment. There is a huge difference. My parents spanked when we were young, and after they had no problem with gaining respect from us.

My dad's brother didnt believe in spanking his kids, he believed in time out. I remember a time we were over at his house and my uncle told him to do something and he just walked away and said, "Fuck you dad, im leaving." Thats something I would never say to my dad.

monster · 04-22-2008, 11:07 PM

...and you turned out alright.....?

monster · 04-22-2008, 11:12 PM

what about people who don't spank because they prefer redirection and positive reinforcement as behaviour modification tools? Are they fools? Or are they people the spamkers may envy at grandparebt stage,, when their family's visits to the grandparents is from love and not duty? Just a thought....

monster · 04-22-2008, 11:18 PM

I actually taze my children. I think it's more humane than spanking because it is a regulated amount of non-harmful pain.

It would be cool if they could build a shock device into diapers -like the invisible electric fence thing for dogs. in fact, let's make it moisture sensitive -potty training will be a breeze! This idea is so aweome I'm printing and dating before I post, so don't even think about marketing D'oh-diapers without paying me......

Shawnee123 · 04-23-2008, 08:00 AM

D'oh Diapers. You're too much.

smoothmoniker · 04-23-2008, 10:15 AM

She isn't learning that "hitting is something we never do to people", she's learning that hitting is something SHE can do to people without meaningful consequence.

Hitting is a power-play. It's the cause and effect that she is playing with. By hitting this person, I can get them to react, to cry, to run away, to scream out to mommy, I can get adults to react to me. That's a very powerful set of responses to a simple action.

There are two possibilities here, as I see it:

1) Your daughter is pre-rational in her ability to connect action with complex imposed consequence, so things like time-out and toys going away don't enter her decision-making process at the time of the incident.

2) Your daughter is able to rationally consider the imposed consequence in her decision-making, and likes the power she has over other children through hitting enough that she is willing to put up with the consequence.

A judicious use of spanking would work for either case!

Stormieweather · 04-23-2008, 12:23 PM

"I can hit YOU, but you can't hit ANYONE". Makes perfect sense.

Hitting is a power-play. It's the cause and effect that we are playing with. By hitting this person, I can get them to react, to obey, to pay attention, to scream out to anyone who will listen. I can get children to react to me. That's a very powerful set of responses to a judicious action.

smoothmoniker · 04-23-2008, 12:35 PM

Where did we get the silly idea that parents and children are peers, and operate under the same rules?

glatt · 04-23-2008, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothmoniker

Where did we get the silly idea that parents and children are peers, and operate under the same rules?

Is anyone in this thread saying that?

Agent-G · 04-23-2008, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

...and you turned out alright.....?

Myself and the rest of my brothers and sister of course have had our difficulties in life. I have not always made the right choices, and neither have they. But we have always respected our parents. In my experience, parents that try to dicipline other ways and they dont work and continue to try and disipline that way have child that dont respect them.

For some kids the time out or the raised voice works, but it doesnt work for everyone. I suppose the key is to find out what works and stick with it. You cant keep doing the same thing without results and keep trying some more.

monster · 04-23-2008, 07:55 PM

I have no respect for my parents. I was smacked/spanked. Go figure. Perhaps they didn't do it hard enough.

(Brits tend to say smack rather than spank -spanking is usually taken to mean reapeated (very hard) slaps on the bare arse, and so the word is usually used more in regards to a sexual perversion)

04-07-2008, 12:40 PM	#16
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,181	Awesome!! Alas, mine reverted over the weekend and did some biting. I need to do some more work with her on how to express her anger without hurting people. __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

04-08-2008, 08:26 AM	#19
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	What a great sense of humor your kid has, glatt. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

04-22-2008, 11:07 PM	#21
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	...and you turned out alright.....? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-22-2008, 11:12 PM	#22
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	what about people who don't spank because they prefer redirection and positive reinforcement as behaviour modification tools? Are they fools? Or are they people the spamkers may envy at grandparebt stage,, when their family's visits to the grandparents is from love and not duty? Just a thought.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-22-2008, 11:18 PM	#23
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I actually taze my children. I think it's more humane than spanking because it is a regulated amount of non-harmful pain. It would be cool if they could build a shock device into diapers -like the invisible electric fence thing for dogs. in fact, let's make it moisture sensitive -potty training will be a breeze! This idea is so aweome I'm printing and dating before I post, so don't even think about marketing D'oh-diapers without paying me...... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-07-2008, 06:43 PM	#18
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	My kindergartener came home the other day and sheepishly told me he had to go see the vice-principal because he'd cut a classmate's hair. It was April Fool's day. The little guy got me.

04-22-2008, 10:20 PM	#20
Agent-G Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Lake Tahoe, California Posts: 103	Spanking is incredibly effective, but it has to be done correctly. The best way to do that is to start kids when they are young. If they do something wrong, you spank them. You cannot spank in anger because that teaches them it is a way to act when you are angry. You tell them no. If they dont listen, you tell them again. If it happens a third time you spank and tell them no again. You do this when they are young and you wont have to worry about it when they are older. They will associate you saying no with spanking. It is a real contraversial subject because parents dont want to disipline with violence. But spanking isnt violence. It is punishment. There is a huge difference. My parents spanked when we were young, and after they had no problem with gaining respect from us. My dad's brother didnt believe in spanking his kids, he believed in time out. I remember a time we were over at his house and my uncle told him to do something and he just walked away and said, "Fuck you dad, im leaving." Thats something I would never say to my dad.

04-23-2008, 08:00 AM	#24
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	D'oh Diapers. You're too much. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

04-23-2008, 10:15 AM	#25
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	She isn't learning that "hitting is something we never do to people", she's learning that hitting is something SHE can do to people without meaningful consequence. Hitting is a power-play. It's the cause and effect that she is playing with. By hitting this person, I can get them to react, to cry, to run away, to scream out to mommy, I can get adults to react to me. That's a very powerful set of responses to a simple action. There are two possibilities here, as I see it: 1) Your daughter is pre-rational in her ability to connect action with complex imposed consequence, so things like time-out and toys going away don't enter her decision-making process at the time of the incident. 2) Your daughter is able to rationally consider the imposed consequence in her decision-making, and likes the power she has over other children through hitting enough that she is willing to put up with the consequence. A judicious use of spanking would work for either case! __________________ to live and die in LA

04-23-2008, 12:23 PM	#26
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,181	"I can hit YOU, but you can't hit ANYONE". Makes perfect sense. Hitting is a power-play. It's the cause and effect that we are playing with. By hitting this person, I can get them to react, to obey, to pay attention, to scream out to anyone who will listen. I can get children to react to me. That's a very powerful set of responses to a judicious action. __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

04-23-2008, 12:35 PM	#27
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	Where did we get the silly idea that parents and children are peers, and operate under the same rules? __________________ to live and die in LA

04-23-2008, 07:55 PM	#30
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	I have no respect for my parents. I was smacked/spanked. Go figure. Perhaps they didn't do it hard enough. (Brits tend to say smack rather than spank -spanking is usually taken to mean reapeated (very hard) slaps on the bare arse, and so the word is usually used more in regards to a sexual perversion) __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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