Am I Lazy or Crazy? - Page 2

SteveDallas · 06-04-2009, 09:40 AM

You're not lazy and you're not crazy. Cleaning out a house is a thankless task under the best of circumstances, and this is far the best of circumstances.

Is there somebody you could enlist to help you? Not physically, so much as in triaging the stuff with an objective eye. On the other hand, it's up to you how much emotional effort you put into deciding what stays and what goes. If you select some things you know you want to keep and trash the rest (and there are outfits that will carry it out and haul it away for you), nobody will fault you.

Laurel & Hardy 8mm films might actually have some value to collectors. Their fan club is called "Sons of the Desert."

Juniper · 06-04-2009, 10:27 AM

Thanks, everyone.

I have so much emotional baggage along with this, it makes the physical baggage pale by comparison.

I mean...seriously. I remember when my dad was depressed after his stroke and started talking about all his stuff that he'd collected through the years. "Just take all those cans downstairs and dump 'em into the recycle bin," he said. Boy, that hurt. Yeah, they're just beer cans, but there were so many of them, lined up on shelves all around his basement den, all during my childhood, so much fun to look at. And the LP's. And the silent 8mm movies. And the boxes of old camera equipment.

My mom's thing was crafts, so along with the umptyzillion boxes of fabric (and it's not GOOD fabric, necessarily, a lot of it is weird polyester crap, I need to go through it) there are also umptyzillion boxes of notions - trims, buttons, patterns, quilt supplies though she never even made one quilt (she always MEANT to and felt, I guess, that if she bought enough quilting shit it might make itself?). And also tons of other various craft supplies. And BOOKS on how to make crafts. The thing is, I like sewing and crafts too (I even DO make quilts) so I hate to get rid of it, but I don't have room for all of it at once.

Also, mom liked to collect items that were sold/given as premiums by the newspaper where she worked for 40 years. Multiples of the same item in many cases. So we have at least six boxes of glasses and also coffee mugs, director's chairs, sweatshirts, playing cards, serving trays, and I don't know what else that say "The Cincinnati Enquirer."

Also tupperware out the wazoo. And all the kitchenware that was used during my childhood, like this set of pastel Pyrex dishes I can't bear to part with because they were on the table every night, you know?

I don't really have friends locally who can help. Most of them are very busy with jobs and kids and I'd hate to ask. Tomorrow's the last day of school, so maybe my kids can come help out. I think and 11 and 13 year old are capable of painting a room, as long as there's lots of drop cloths.

They don't want to go over there though, it's too sad for them.

Renting - I don't know if I can do that, the HOA I think has rules against it.

I was thinking about keeping the condo and using it as an office for my business - go over there every day like a normal job and work; I'm a freelance writer, see, and right now my office is this dreary little room in the basement. It would, after all, only cost me what I'm paying now (plus a little bit more for utilities, and Internet service) and would make me feel a lot more professional. But hubby didn't like it, said it was excessive for my needs, and I guess he's right.

It's in a very good area, and I think it will sell even despite the economy. I can afford to leave it on the market till I get a big enough offer; after all, I've waited this long!

Well, gotta go paint. I'm a messy painter, I always get lots of it on myself too.

And UGH I bought a 5-gal bucket, which is so heavy...

Pie · 06-04-2009, 12:16 PM

I went through some of this last year when my dad died. Sometimes, the worst feelings come from throwing something away. If Mom (or Dad) had use for a particular item, it would feel like a repudiation of them to make it value-less in a dumpster. So if it doesn't get snapped up on eBay or craigslist, consider taking it down to the local goodwill or salvation army.

Someone will find value in it. Make the question for yourself: is this something I value, or would someone else value it more? Then emotionally you've done the right thing. And you can imagine Mom's collection of Cincinnati Enquirer stuff populating the bedrooms of college students everywhere. Your childhood corelle dinnerware being used to serve some other kid's after school snack.

It's still not easy, though!

Clodfobble · 06-04-2009, 01:08 PM

I second the suggestion to make heavy use of Goodwill and Salvation Army. I really, really have a hard time throwing away things with even the slightest useful value left in them--but if I know that some poor family will be getting use out of it, then I actually feel good about getting rid of stuff I don't need. An emotional attachment is harder to overcome, but just keep reminding yourself what an impact a simple set of glasses could have on a family that doesn't have any. Or there are places like nursing homes full of people who love to craft but don't have the materials available anymore. Can you just imagine the joy that would come from a box full of quilting supplies for them?

Juniper · 06-04-2009, 03:32 PM

I already have taken a bunch of stuff to Goodwill. I did that right away with her clothes - bagged 'em up and trucked 'em over before I could have second thoughts.

'Cause no WAY would I wear my mom's clothes; let's just say, her style and mine do not mesh.

I was over there for a few hours today, just got back. I decided it's time to have an estate sale, so that's what we're gonna do next week, the kids and me. We're gonna get some tables and shelves together, organize and price the stuff, and try not to get emotional while people paw through it. I offered to split the money three ways with them if they help out. We'll see how THAT goes.

DanaC · 06-04-2009, 03:33 PM

Oh what a smashing idea Juni! Let us know how it goes (and maybe get some pics of the stalls set up?)

Undertoad · 06-04-2009, 03:41 PM

no but srsly, what are the records?

Sheldonrs · 06-04-2009, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

no but srsly, what are the records?

They are round disks that music used to be recorded on before iPods and CDs.

Juniper · 06-04-2009, 06:55 PM

The records are a huge collection from the 50's and on, big band, orchestra, jazz, 70's easy-listening stuff. There are also some 78's. Must be over 200 of them altogether. My uncle already went through it and got what he wanted before my mom died, so probably there's nothing spectacular left behind.

Juniper · 06-04-2009, 09:02 PM

LOL, have I got the stuff! My house was built in 1965, but some things are just better left in the past.

Juniper · 06-05-2009, 11:06 AM

Well, I've been informed by the hubby that he hates yard sales so I shall be on my own for this project. Big surprise, eh?

Dunno what ELSE he expected me to do with all that crap. Keep it, I guess. He has joined the voices in my head on more than one occasion, saying "aw, but it's cool to have that old stuff. It was part of their life."+

Sure, but where do we PUT it all?

See, he doesn't have any of that because his parents' house blew up in 1989. Yeah, I mean it actually EXPLODED. It was a gas line malfunction, I think. They were banged up but OK. He had already moved out, but you know when you're 22 you probably don't have all your stuff - you leave all of it at your parents' except what you need for daily life. So, kaboom, no more heirlooms, not even old family photos.

Consequently he has an almost obsessive interest in other people's old family photos. He'll cruise antique shops looking for them. Kind of weird IMO. I imagine our grandkids will one day look at all the framed b&w portraits hanging on our walls and think they're part of our family history, when really they're just some random folks whose photos ended up in the junk shop. Maybe I should put stickers on the back: Decoration only - nobody knows these people!

glatt · 06-05-2009, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juniper

Maybe I should put stickers on the back: Decoration only - nobody knows these people!

You seriously should.

Shawnee123 · 06-05-2009, 11:45 AM

I agree. Like on a gambling machine: For Entertainment Purposes Only. For effect, throw around some new frames with the fake family photos that come with the frame.

Oh, and I am fascinated by old-timey family photos too. I always wonder what their story was: did they get along, what did they do, where did they go...etc.

xoxoxoBruce · 06-06-2009, 04:15 AM

Or put a big wanted poster around each one.

ZenGum · 06-06-2009, 05:26 AM

Better, make up a fake family history, and really mess with your great-grandkids heads.

Quote:

Uncle Seigfried Ansersson, 1889-1970, explored the Andersson plateau in Rhodesia (Zimbabwe), made his fortune in African Artichokes, was implicated in the notorious Hoover dam scandal, was three times president of the American Association of Ambidextrous Archeologists.

06-04-2009, 12:16 PM	#3
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	I went through some of this last year when my dad died. Sometimes, the worst feelings come from throwing something away. If Mom (or Dad) had use for a particular item, it would feel like a repudiation of them to make it value-less in a dumpster. So if it doesn't get snapped up on eBay or craigslist, consider taking it down to the local goodwill or salvation army. Someone will find value in it. Make the question for yourself: is this something I value, or would someone else value it more? Then emotionally you've done the right thing. And you can imagine Mom's collection of Cincinnati Enquirer stuff populating the bedrooms of college students everywhere. Your childhood corelle dinnerware being used to serve some other kid's after school snack. It's still not easy, though! __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

06-04-2009, 01:08 PM	#4
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I second the suggestion to make heavy use of Goodwill and Salvation Army. I really, really have a hard time throwing away things with even the slightest useful value left in them--but if I know that some poor family will be getting use out of it, then I actually feel good about getting rid of stuff I don't need. An emotional attachment is harder to overcome, but just keep reminding yourself what an impact a simple set of glasses could have on a family that doesn't have any. Or there are places like nursing homes full of people who love to craft but don't have the materials available anymore. Can you just imagine the joy that would come from a box full of quilting supplies for them? __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

06-05-2009, 11:45 AM	#13
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I agree. Like on a gambling machine: For Entertainment Purposes Only. For effect, throw around some new frames with the fake family photos that come with the frame. Oh, and I am fascinated by old-timey family photos too. I always wonder what their story was: did they get along, what did they do, where did they go...etc. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

06-06-2009, 04:15 AM	#14
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Or put a big wanted poster around each one. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

06-04-2009, 09:40 AM	#1
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	You're not lazy and you're not crazy. Cleaning out a house is a thankless task under the best of circumstances, and this is far the best of circumstances. Is there somebody you could enlist to help you? Not physically, so much as in triaging the stuff with an objective eye. On the other hand, it's up to you how much emotional effort you put into deciding what stays and what goes. If you select some things you know you want to keep and trash the rest (and there are outfits that will carry it out and haul it away for you), nobody will fault you. Laurel & Hardy 8mm films might actually have some value to collectors. Their fan club is called "Sons of the Desert."

06-04-2009, 10:27 AM	#2
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	Thanks, everyone. I have so much emotional baggage along with this, it makes the physical baggage pale by comparison. I mean...seriously. I remember when my dad was depressed after his stroke and started talking about all his stuff that he'd collected through the years. "Just take all those cans downstairs and dump 'em into the recycle bin," he said. Boy, that hurt. Yeah, they're just beer cans, but there were so many of them, lined up on shelves all around his basement den, all during my childhood, so much fun to look at. And the LP's. And the silent 8mm movies. And the boxes of old camera equipment. My mom's thing was crafts, so along with the umptyzillion boxes of fabric (and it's not GOOD fabric, necessarily, a lot of it is weird polyester crap, I need to go through it) there are also umptyzillion boxes of notions - trims, buttons, patterns, quilt supplies though she never even made one quilt (she always MEANT to and felt, I guess, that if she bought enough quilting shit it might make itself?). And also tons of other various craft supplies. And BOOKS on how to make crafts. The thing is, I like sewing and crafts too (I even DO make quilts) so I hate to get rid of it, but I don't have room for all of it at once. Also, mom liked to collect items that were sold/given as premiums by the newspaper where she worked for 40 years. Multiples of the same item in many cases. So we have at least six boxes of glasses and also coffee mugs, director's chairs, sweatshirts, playing cards, serving trays, and I don't know what else that say "The Cincinnati Enquirer." Also tupperware out the wazoo. And all the kitchenware that was used during my childhood, like this set of pastel Pyrex dishes I can't bear to part with because they were on the table every night, you know? I don't really have friends locally who can help. Most of them are very busy with jobs and kids and I'd hate to ask. Tomorrow's the last day of school, so maybe my kids can come help out. I think and 11 and 13 year old are capable of painting a room, as long as there's lots of drop cloths. They don't want to go over there though, it's too sad for them. Renting - I don't know if I can do that, the HOA I think has rules against it. I was thinking about keeping the condo and using it as an office for my business - go over there every day like a normal job and work; I'm a freelance writer, see, and right now my office is this dreary little room in the basement. It would, after all, only cost me what I'm paying now (plus a little bit more for utilities, and Internet service) and would make me feel a lot more professional. But hubby didn't like it, said it was excessive for my needs, and I guess he's right. It's in a very good area, and I think it will sell even despite the economy. I can afford to leave it on the market till I get a big enough offer; after all, I've waited this long! Well, gotta go paint. I'm a messy painter, I always get lots of it on myself too. And UGH I bought a 5-gal bucket, which is so heavy...

06-04-2009, 03:32 PM	#5
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	I already have taken a bunch of stuff to Goodwill. I did that right away with her clothes - bagged 'em up and trucked 'em over before I could have second thoughts. 'Cause no WAY would I wear my mom's clothes; let's just say, her style and mine do not mesh. I was over there for a few hours today, just got back. I decided it's time to have an estate sale, so that's what we're gonna do next week, the kids and me. We're gonna get some tables and shelves together, organize and price the stuff, and try not to get emotional while people paw through it. I offered to split the money three ways with them if they help out. We'll see how THAT goes.

06-04-2009, 03:41 PM	#7
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	no but srsly, what are the records?

06-04-2009, 06:55 PM	#9
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	The records are a huge collection from the 50's and on, big band, orchestra, jazz, 70's easy-listening stuff. There are also some 78's. Must be over 200 of them altogether. My uncle already went through it and got what he wanted before my mom died, so probably there's nothing spectacular left behind.

06-04-2009, 09:02 PM	#10
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	LOL, have I got the stuff! My house was built in 1965, but some things are just better left in the past.

06-05-2009, 11:06 AM	#11
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	Well, I've been informed by the hubby that he hates yard sales so I shall be on my own for this project. Big surprise, eh? Dunno what ELSE he expected me to do with all that crap. Keep it, I guess. He has joined the voices in my head on more than one occasion, saying "aw, but it's cool to have that old stuff. It was part of their life."+ Sure, but where do we PUT it all? See, he doesn't have any of that because his parents' house blew up in 1989. Yeah, I mean it actually EXPLODED. It was a gas line malfunction, I think. They were banged up but OK. He had already moved out, but you know when you're 22 you probably don't have all your stuff - you leave all of it at your parents' except what you need for daily life. So, kaboom, no more heirlooms, not even old family photos. Consequently he has an almost obsessive interest in other people's old family photos. He'll cruise antique shops looking for them. Kind of weird IMO. I imagine our grandkids will one day look at all the framed b&w portraits hanging on our walls and think they're part of our family history, when really they're just some random folks whose photos ended up in the junk shop. Maybe I should put stickers on the back: Decoration only - nobody knows these people!

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)