Finest commencement speech ever

[elSicomoro]

You know who would have been really cool to have as a commencement speaker? Mr. T.

[warch]

I thought I'd heard something about CNN international picking up the Daily Show for late late night...it struck me, because I thought that was cool and strange both. Maybe Ive made it up...

[Kitsune]

One of my side jobs is graduation photography, so I've seen it all and heard them all. After September 11th, we'd all get together and play "terrorist bingo". We'd get cards, place words on them like terror, osama, world trade center, patriotism, with jesus as the free square. As the speech would go on, we'd start marking them off. It took all our energy to not yell "bingo!" in the middle of the speech.

[Happy Monkey]

Mr. Marion Barry crashed my high school graduation. I'm not certain whether he was mayor at the time. Sweating profusely (not particularly surprising, it was June in DC with no AC), he spouted a few "inspirational" platidudes, standing next to the bewildered student council president, and disappeared.

It was the only redeeming feature of an otherwise crushingly boring and sweltering morning.

[russotto]

I had Cosby.

[wolf]

Temple, eh?

My college commencement speaker (undergrad) was Shirley Chisolm. I don't remember one damn thing she said.

I was anxious to get on with the drinking.

My Master's Degree speaker was some unknown, but well off, former graduate of the University.

[elSicomoro]

Matt, you went to U of M, right?

Shirley Chisholm, now that's cool...even if you don't remember it.

God, my school fucking sucked.

[Kitsune]

Its the student speeches that always get me. Last Friday I attended a High School graduation in which the valedictorian gave a speech that made me think he had a savior complex.

"Here I stand before you, with nothing to hide..." he said, taking off his robe to reveal his dress shirt underneath. He paused for drama, acting as if he couldn't find the words and seemed to find inspiration by looking into the stage lights with tears in his eyes. "...with no secrets to keep from you. I must tell you now that you, the students, and your families are the most important thing to me second only to one thing: my relationship with Jesus Christ."

The crowd went completely insane with applause for what seemed like five minutes. Students threw their hats into the air. Horns sounded. The crowd stood. The cheering didn't seem to end and only grew with intensity as the prinicpal stood and clapped.

In my high school, that would have gotten your ass kicked and complaints from parents.

Ah, small town high school graduations are so amusing.

[xoxoxoBruce]

At Symphony Hall in Boston, June 13th, 1964. Commencement address by Dr Bengjamin C. Willis, General Superintendent of Schools, Chicago, Illinois. Wonder what he said?

[DanaC]

Are you saying we have no understanding of American culture even though we have simply osmosised, ectyped and shrunk-to-fit everything you have sent over on your really big ships?

Hahahahahah. I've said it before I'll say it again. Class in a glass.

We get a fair bit of American comedy via the Comedy Central channel on sky tv....usually anything that does well on our branch of Comedy Central then makes it onto terrestrial....Politically Incorrect is good I liked that back when I had skytv....I think you're right about some of the comedy being more culturally specific than others though UT.....there are some areas where the sense of the joke doesnt necessarly translate but I really think it works across the water more oftne than it doesnt....either that or our TV network execs are doing a damn fine job of streaming out the really really American stuff

Even the politics....We get a fair amount of Stateside political coverage over here, especially during an election year....oh and any time you guys do something really really strange so that we can all look superior, roll our eyes and say "only in America" *blinks*

Mostly though.....I think humour divides more alongclass/economic or political identity lines than along National ones.

[Happy Monkey]

Originally posted by DanaC
....oh and any time you guys do something really really strange so that we can all look superior, roll our eyes and say "only in America" *blinks*

You'd like the Daily Show. That's a primary staple.

[lookout123]

Originally posted by sycamore
I had the worst commencement speaker ever. The people in the spring semester graduating class got former Canadian PM Brian Mulroney. We (the fall semester graduating class) got the head of Edward Jones. Goddamn, he was boring...I can't remember a thing he said.

i can understand why you would be disappointed but to the right audience he would have been great. sorry, i'm a broker with Edward Jones and have to admit i like listening to both John Bachman and Doug Hill speak.

[wolf]

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
At Symphony Hall in Boston, June 13th, 1964. Commencement address by Dr Bengjamin C. Willis, General Superintendent of Schools, Chicago, Illinois. Wonder what he said?

I wouldn't have a clue either, but in an odd twist of fate, I was best friends in elementary school with the son of his successor ...

[Catwoman]

Originally posted by DanaC
oh and any time you guys do something really really strange

I think you meant stupid. (See banana guard thread for details.)

[russotto]

Originally posted by sycamore
Matt, you went to U of M, right?

Yep, University of Maryland College Park, where our most famous graduate (Jim Henson) died because he was too dumb to come in out of the rain.