Am Ithe only one who thinks this is... - Page 2

melidasaur · 07-19-2005, 10:43 AM

At my great-grandmother's funeral, there was an open casket. My sister who was about 5 at the time kept touching the body. It was creepy.

elSicomoro · 07-19-2005, 10:46 AM

I was tempted a couple of times to touch a dead body at a funeral, but never did. Though I have touched a dead body once...when I kissed my grandmother good-bye shortly after she died at a hospital in 1997.

lookout123 · 07-19-2005, 11:40 AM

death doesn't freak me out. let's face it, we are all dieing right now. part of my training in the military had me working in the trauma units in San Antonio - gunshot wounds galore. that was interesting. i also worked in the morgue - they aren't as creepy IRL as they are in the movies. i also worked in the autopsy room as well - that is creepy. seeing a person dismantled completely while talking about which bar you are going to when the shift is over is just a little too surreal.

due to family medical history i spent a VERY large part of my youth sleeping in ICU chairs waiting for news.

these experiences, among others, have removed the "freak factor" from death. my trust documents give explicit orders to throw my bones into the cheapest wood box available and burn my ass. no bedside moment or lazy boy viewing for me.

Carbonated_Brains · 07-19-2005, 12:05 PM

My dying wish is to have my unembalmed corpse be sent one-way Fedex to the doorstep of somebody I hate.

lookout123 · 07-19-2005, 12:11 PM

better than that is when the day comes that you feel the end is near sneak over to their house and hide in their trunk. noone will notice until the smell is horrid and imagine your enemies surprise when they are arrested for your murder! oh yeah, you got Punk'd!

dar512 · 07-19-2005, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sycamore

I know...it's so hard though b/c being an asshole is so much fun.

LabRat · 07-19-2005, 12:23 PM

My dad died of a heart attack before I was able to get to the hospital. Once there, I asked for a few minutes alone with him and I said my goodbyes ending with a hug and kiss. His body was only a few hours dead, so he did look like he was just sleeping. He smelled like my dad too...whatever he used in his hair will always remind me of him.

Anyway, at the funeral, he was the wrong color, his hair was done way wrong, and his expression was off. He was an organ donor, and his corneas went to someone (we got a card later saying so) so his eyes were not quite right bulgewise either. I decided right then and there that there would be none of this open casket business for me. Just lots of pictures of me when I was alive, and food. LOTS of food

This was confirmed when I went to both of my grandparents funerals, they just don't even look like THEM, so why have the damn thing there anyway?? All I have now is this memory of their dead body. I didn't want to look, but I figured everyone else would see it as a sign of disrespect if I didn't walk by the casket with everyone. Now, I am old enough to know I can just say "no thanks, I prefer to remember X as they were". Screw 'em if they think I'm being rude. :p

lookout123 · 07-19-2005, 12:47 PM

here is the thing - the funeral is supposed to be for the survivors. that is why i don't go. i don't need closure, and it sickens me to look around a roomful of teary eyed people who didn't care all that much about the person when they were alive.

my grandfather's last brother passed away a few months ago. some of the extended family got pissed because i refused to take part in a big memorial that they had planned. i spent the last ten years writing letters back and forth to him, recording stories of his youth, WWII, life afterwards, and all that jazz. the man was fascinating. they wanted me to bring the recordings and journals and read some of the letters. i told them all to piss off. i had invited most of them at various times to be included in these events while he was still alive, but they were too busy. screw 'em. if they really cared or were interested they would have been interested while he was alive. i don't have the time or the inclination to teach them who he was now that he is gone. and i think he felt the same way. i had asked him for many years if i could take a video of some of his WWII experiences for the DDAy museum archives in new orleans and he had always refused. about a month before he died he traveled across the country, and handed me a tape. he said it was the only one in existence and he wasn't going to tell anyone else about it. after his death i made one copy for my uncle who was also very close to him, and that is it.

all that to say this - pay attention to them while they are alive, the funeral isn't that important.

wolf · 07-19-2005, 01:28 PM

One of my coworkers was given an open casket service ... but it was kinda cool in a way, because the funeral home did stuff that I've not seen before ... yeah, he looked too damn pink, but that's always a problem ... but, he was buried in his black jeans, his Flyers jersey (and the pall bearers all wore jerseys as well ... none of the suit and tie nonsense), and rather than the hands folded in peaceful repose pose ... his right hand was stuck into his jeans pocket the way he always did it, with his pinkie curled back ... and well, he looked like he always did just prior to kicking someone's ass.

LabRat · 07-19-2005, 03:23 PM

not sure if I'm going to get haunted for this, but my dad was buried in his tighty whities only, the way he was most comfortable, and usually seen around the house ( --used to embarass the hell out of me when friends would come over

). It was my mom's idea, and I thought it was a good one. He only had the top half of a suit on whole time of the viewing...

Dagney · 07-19-2005, 05:08 PM

When my Grandmother passed in January - we got the opportunity to sit with her a body and wait for the arrival of the cremation folks. It was tough, knowing she wasn't there, and feeling her body get cold...pretty quickly too.

But having the ability to sit with her, say goodbye, and have that closure was extremely helpful in the grieving process.

We're a 'no funeral' family. I think it's better that way.

Kellie

xoxoxoBruce · 07-19-2005, 06:26 PM

Quote:

pay attention to them while they are alive, the funeral isn't that important.

Agreed.

OnyxCougar · 07-20-2005, 09:58 AM

I still want Patrick to do my eulogy.

mrnoodle · 07-20-2005, 10:23 AM

I find funerals to be off-putting, in general. Memorial services, sure. Wakes, great. But the idea of slapping some clay and makeup on a corpse to display it in a church for a bunch of crying people is just weird. Embalming is weird. The amount of money spent on caskets is weird.

That said, I understand the need for closure and all that, so I'll let my family do what they want with my carcass when I'm gone. But for me, when my grandpa died (I was 16) and I literally felt his soul leave the room, I had more closure than any amount of pre-burial pomp could've provided.

Oddly, when my nana died in 2003, the sense of her presence (and her departure) weren't nearly as strong. In the intervening years I had made a conscious effort to squelch my awareness of things psychic. Good for not being bothered by ghosts, bad for general awareness.

/weird

OnyxCougar · 07-21-2005, 08:13 AM

I know exactly what you mean, noodle. I grew up 'knowing things" and I've had precog dreams all my life. That's why when people want to pin me down about my beliefs, I give the ultimate confusing answer.. Literalist Creationist Christian Wiccan.

Or something like that

07-19-2005, 10:43 AM	#16
melidasaur Traded your soul for pogs. Join Date: May 2004 Location: Champaign, IL Posts: 646	At my great-grandmother's funeral, there was an open casket. My sister who was about 5 at the time kept touching the body. It was creepy. __________________ I love England, what can I say?

07-19-2005, 11:40 AM	#18
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	death doesn't freak me out. let's face it, we are all dieing right now. part of my training in the military had me working in the trauma units in San Antonio - gunshot wounds galore. that was interesting. i also worked in the morgue - they aren't as creepy IRL as they are in the movies. i also worked in the autopsy room as well - that is creepy. seeing a person dismantled completely while talking about which bar you are going to when the shift is over is just a little too surreal. due to family medical history i spent a VERY large part of my youth sleeping in ICU chairs waiting for news. these experiences, among others, have removed the "freak factor" from death. my trust documents give explicit orders to throw my bones into the cheapest wood box available and burn my ass. no bedside moment or lazy boy viewing for me. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

07-19-2005, 12:11 PM	#20
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	better than that is when the day comes that you feel the end is near sneak over to their house and hide in their trunk. noone will notice until the smell is horrid and imagine your enemies surprise when they are arrested for your murder! oh yeah, you got Punk'd! __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

07-19-2005, 12:23 PM	#22
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	My dad died of a heart attack before I was able to get to the hospital. Once there, I asked for a few minutes alone with him and I said my goodbyes ending with a hug and kiss. His body was only a few hours dead, so he did look like he was just sleeping. He smelled like my dad too...whatever he used in his hair will always remind me of him. Anyway, at the funeral, he was the wrong color, his hair was done way wrong, and his expression was off. He was an organ donor, and his corneas went to someone (we got a card later saying so) so his eyes were not quite right bulgewise either. I decided right then and there that there would be none of this open casket business for me. Just lots of pictures of me when I was alive, and food. LOTS of food This was confirmed when I went to both of my grandparents funerals, they just don't even look like THEM, so why have the damn thing there anyway?? All I have now is this memory of their dead body. I didn't want to look, but I figured everyone else would see it as a sign of disrespect if I didn't walk by the casket with everyone. Now, I am old enough to know I can just say "no thanks, I prefer to remember X as they were". Screw 'em if they think I'm being rude. :p __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

07-19-2005, 12:47 PM	#23
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	here is the thing - the funeral is supposed to be for the survivors. that is why i don't go. i don't need closure, and it sickens me to look around a roomful of teary eyed people who didn't care all that much about the person when they were alive. my grandfather's last brother passed away a few months ago. some of the extended family got pissed because i refused to take part in a big memorial that they had planned. i spent the last ten years writing letters back and forth to him, recording stories of his youth, WWII, life afterwards, and all that jazz. the man was fascinating. they wanted me to bring the recordings and journals and read some of the letters. i told them all to piss off. i had invited most of them at various times to be included in these events while he was still alive, but they were too busy. screw 'em. if they really cared or were interested they would have been interested while he was alive. i don't have the time or the inclination to teach them who he was now that he is gone. and i think he felt the same way. i had asked him for many years if i could take a video of some of his WWII experiences for the DDAy museum archives in new orleans and he had always refused. about a month before he died he traveled across the country, and handed me a tape. he said it was the only one in existence and he wasn't going to tell anyone else about it. after his death i made one copy for my uncle who was also very close to him, and that is it. all that to say this - pay attention to them while they are alive, the funeral isn't that important. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

07-19-2005, 10:46 AM	#17
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I was tempted a couple of times to touch a dead body at a funeral, but never did. Though I have touched a dead body once...when I kissed my grandmother good-bye shortly after she died at a hospital in 1997.

07-19-2005, 12:05 PM	#19
Carbonated_Brains Does it show up here when I type? Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Between the smoky layers of a prosciutto sandwich! Posts: 355	My dying wish is to have my unembalmed corpse be sent one-way Fedex to the doorstep of somebody I hate.

07-19-2005, 01:28 PM	#24
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	One of my coworkers was given an open casket service ... but it was kinda cool in a way, because the funeral home did stuff that I've not seen before ... yeah, he looked too damn pink, but that's always a problem ... but, he was buried in his black jeans, his Flyers jersey (and the pall bearers all wore jerseys as well ... none of the suit and tie nonsense), and rather than the hands folded in peaceful repose pose ... his right hand was stuck into his jeans pocket the way he always did it, with his pinkie curled back ... and well, he looked like he always did just prior to kicking someone's ass. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

07-19-2005, 03:23 PM	#25
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	not sure if I'm going to get haunted for this, but my dad was buried in his tighty whities only, the way he was most comfortable, and usually seen around the house ( --used to embarass the hell out of me when friends would come over ). It was my mom's idea, and I thought it was a good one. He only had the top half of a suit on whole time of the viewing... __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

07-19-2005, 05:08 PM	#26
Dagney The Prodigal Brat Returneth Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: North Cackalacky Posts: 1,107	When my Grandmother passed in January - we got the opportunity to sit with her a body and wait for the arrival of the cremation folks. It was tough, knowing she wasn't there, and feeling her body get cold...pretty quickly too. But having the ability to sit with her, say goodbye, and have that closure was extremely helpful in the grieving process. We're a 'no funeral' family. I think it's better that way. Kellie __________________ The Constitution gives every American the right to make a total fool out of himself. But that doesn't mean you need to.

07-20-2005, 09:58 AM	#28
OnyxCougar Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Kingdom of Atlantia Posts: 2,979	I still want Patrick to do my eulogy. __________________ Impotentes defendere libertatem non possunt. "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

07-20-2005, 10:23 AM	#29
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	I find funerals to be off-putting, in general. Memorial services, sure. Wakes, great. But the idea of slapping some clay and makeup on a corpse to display it in a church for a bunch of crying people is just weird. Embalming is weird. The amount of money spent on caskets is weird. That said, I understand the need for closure and all that, so I'll let my family do what they want with my carcass when I'm gone. But for me, when my grandpa died (I was 16) and I literally felt his soul leave the room, I had more closure than any amount of pre-burial pomp could've provided. Oddly, when my nana died in 2003, the sense of her presence (and her departure) weren't nearly as strong. In the intervening years I had made a conscious effort to squelch my awareness of things psychic. Good for not being bothered by ghosts, bad for general awareness. /weird __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

07-21-2005, 08:13 AM	#30
OnyxCougar Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Kingdom of Atlantia Posts: 2,979	I know exactly what you mean, noodle. I grew up 'knowing things" and I've had precog dreams all my life. That's why when people want to pin me down about my beliefs, I give the ultimate confusing answer.. Literalist Creationist Christian Wiccan. Or something like that __________________ Impotentes defendere libertatem non possunt. "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

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