What's upsetting you today?

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by limey

Doesn't that "didn't want to be a bother" thing SUCK??
Please remember folks - your friends and family want to know, want to help, want to show they care.

As someone who has perpetual "didn't want to be a bother" syndrome, I can tell you that it's more about avoiding the attention in the first place. If you show your care in more understated ways rather than talking about it, simply do the helpful thing rather than ask "What can I do?," then you are more likely to be let in the loop. Just sayin'.

[Sundae]

Playing games with the system.

GPs in Aylesbury won't register me without photo ID.
I technically possess it, but I don't have it to hand.
I lost my driving licence and passport about 5 years ago.

Called up to get a replacement driving licence (£17.50, not so bad - passport is going to be more I think) and it will take 15 working days. That's three weeks even before you take off postage time, and three Bank Holidays in between.

I don't have enough anti-depressants to last three weeks.

This is a frustration of my own making - I should have replaced my driving licence years ago. I should have tried to register with a new GP the Monday morning after I moved here. I should have checked my medication before I started to see the bottom of the pill bottle.

The only minor defence I can offer is that I have registered at 3 different practices in my life and have never been asked for photo ID. I certainly have never been told, "No photo ID, no registration".

Have contacted an NHS helpline. See if they can do anything for me.
Thing is, I can't even just pop to A&E to see a doctor (the usual fallback, even though it costs the NHS a lot of money) because no emergency doctor is going to give me a 30 day prescription on my say-so. At least not without a fight.

I really make my own problems.
Still, I haven't had a drink since Friday.

[DanaC]

No photo ID no registration? That's awful. What if you don't drive and don't have a passport (like me)? That's totally screwy.

[Trilby]

Sundae--quit beating yourself up. It doesn't help. Ok, so you didn't get your license in a timely manner. Ok. Now we have to go to plan B. You might have to go to the ER and just SEE what happens when you tell them your story. maybe they will be able to help you out; maybe not, but you have to try. this is no time for us to be circling the drain----you need to act while you still have a choice (not drunk, not do depressed you can't move, etc) I have a bad habit of doing this myself----making no choice until the choice is forced (and the forced choice always sucks, right?) There must be some way. Is your family a help at all? what about some AA people?

I want you to know that I am going thru the very same thing. My last drink was friday, too. I had a bender and wound up pretty sick. I HAVE to go to meetings. They are the only thing that helps me stay away from alcohol. Oh, god, Sundae. I wish I could help.

*powerless*

[Cicero]

That sucks guys! I wish the best for you in your endeavors. It really isn't a good idea to beat yourself up. Try talking to yourself with the nice, caring, and kind voice. The world can naturally beat you up, and you are supposed to be nice to yourself, and understanding.

Take the same compassion you have for others, and try applying that to yourself sometime. I am not suggesting that you wallow in pity, but for heaven's sake, don't live in shame.

Why am I saying this? Because I can apply it to myself, as I look around, and my bedroom is disorganized. I decided that I am a piece of low class shit, then I realized that I had just worked for 2 days at 13 hours a day, with a fever. Then I decided that I am a badass. (and still trying to get over this cold, flu, whatever this is)

It's a matter of a little change in perspective. Give yourself the same humanization you would give others. You aren't any less because you know yourself really well. Just think about it for a minute and you may see yourself in a different light.

[limey]

Originally Posted by Brianna

Sundae--quit beating yourself up. It doesn't help. Ok, so you didn't get your license in a timely manner. Ok. Now we have to go to plan B. You might have to go to the ER and just SEE what happens when you tell them your story. maybe they will be able to help you out; maybe not, but you have to try. this is no time for us to be circling the drain----you need to act while you still have a choice (not drunk, not do depressed you can't move, etc) I have a bad habit of doing this myself----making no choice until the choice is forced (and the forced choice always sucks, right?) There must be some way. Is your family a help at all? what about some AA people?

I want you to know that I am going thru the very same thing. My last drink was friday, too. I had a bender and wound up pretty sick. I HAVE to go to meetings. They are the only thing that helps me stay away from alcohol. Oh, god, Sundae. I wish I could help.

*powerless*

Bri, you're not powerless. What you say is such a good message.
SG, listen up to Bri - get down to A&E and see what they say NOW not when you're on the last antidepressant and it's Xmas eve. Do you have any other ID at all SG, even without a photo?
Hugs to the both of youse [proper Scots word, that!].
Oh, and what Cic said, too!

[limey]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

As someone who has perpetual "didn't want to be a bother" syndrome, I can tell you that it's more about avoiding the attention in the first place. If you show your care in more understated ways rather than talking about it, simply do the helpful thing rather than ask "What can I do?," then you are more likely to be let in the loop. Just sayin'.

(sorry for the multipost)
yabbut ... how can we know something's wrong if you don't tell us? Isn't it human nature to show you I care more if I think you're in trouble than if I think you're doing OK (that is "show you " more, not "care" more)?

[Clodfobble]

Sure, it's human nature, but that doesn't mean the person has to like being the recipient of pity or special treatment, even if it's what you want to give them. It's also human nature to avoid situations that make us uncomfortable. I'm just saying, if you have a friend or family member who routinely avoids telling people about their personal struggles, then when you do find out about it, the appropriate response is to give them a hug, and change the subject in a timely manner. Later you can bring them flowers or food or whatever you want, just do it in a discreet and matter-of-fact way: "we're helping you because that's what people do for each other, and it's no big deal," rather than "your life is obviously really, really terrible right now, so you deserve some stuff."

[limey]

Originally Posted by limey

Doesn't that "didn't want to be a bother" thing SUCK??
Please remember folks - your friends and family want to know, want to help, want to show they care.
Sending healing vibes via you to her.

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Sure, it's human nature, but that doesn't mean the person has to like being the recipient of pity or special treatment, even if it's what you want to give them. It's also human nature to avoid situations that make us uncomfortable. I'm just saying, if you have a friend or family member who routinely avoids telling people about their personal struggles, then when you do find out about it, the appropriate response is to give them a hug, and change the subject in a timely manner. Later you can bring them flowers or food or whatever you want, just do it in a discreet and matter-of-fact way: "we're helping you because that's what people do for each other, and it's no big deal," rather than "your life is obviously really, really terrible right now, so you deserve some stuff."

Point taken. "Show you care" should suit the recipient more than the giver.

[Sundae]

For the record, I found some more anti-depressants.
I didn't mean to create drama - I am genuinely happy and relived not to have to get confrontational (with the NHS) over this.

Posted in the happy thread

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by Cicero

It's a matter of a little change in perspective. Give yourself the same humanization you would give others. You aren't any less because you know yourself really well. Just think about it for a minute and you may see yourself in a different light.

I needed to hear just that. Great post.

[Cicero]

Well I am glad someone was listening.

[Treasenuak]

I'm a little upset b/c I'm worried about Big Sarge

[lookout123]

One of the first grade teachers at Lil Lookout's school has taken it upon themselves to announce in class that there is no santa claus. she went on to explain that parents set up all the toys and eat the cookies so kids think there will be a santa. WTF!?!

This wasn't LL's teacher (he's in second) but all of the students from this class promptly spread the word at recess. and more than a few went home and spilled it in front of younger brothers and sisters.

I'm seriously pissed off about this. LL came to the conclusion on his own a while back that he knows some people don't believe in Santa but he is going to because he thinks Christmas is more fun that way. Nothing was ruined for my kid but I'm still pissed. Who does this bitch think she is?

[HungLikeJesus]

Well, they would have found out from the Ouija board sooner or later.