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Old 04-01-2010, 11:32 AM   #331
Shawnee123
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Oh that is funny!
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Old 04-01-2010, 11:47 AM   #332
jinx
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I think the funniest thing is the search timer results, ie.

Quote:
Results 1 - 10 of about 125,000,000 for april fool [definition]. (1.02 times the velocity of an unladen swallow)
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Old 04-01-2010, 01:42 PM   #333
jinx
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Still amused by these...

Quote:
(0.05 nanocenturies)
(11.90 parsecs)
(0.21 microfortnights)
(0.28e+43 Planck times)
(2.00 shakes of a lamb's tail)
(at warp 9.28)
(at 6.47 hertz)
(0.04 nanocenturies)
(23.00 skidoo)
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Old 04-02-2010, 08:06 AM   #334
Carruthers
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Actually, this happened last weekend but it has been amusing me today.

Last Sunday, the nation finally advanced its clocks by an hour at 2am.
Having sauntered down the road for a newspaper and some milk I was on my way back when I heard the town clock strike six at 9.32am precisely. As far as I am aware, it remained silent for the rest of the day.
It was the sort of thing you might have seen or heard in the background of an early Peter Sellers film.

The offending time piece.

Carruthers

ETA

I hate having to go through the wretched caper of putting the clock forward as it always knackers my body clock. I can get jet-lag without leaving the parish. Due to the differing dates the US and UK change their clocks, for about three weeks we're only four hours ahead of Eastern Time. No real problem but I listen to NPR on the web and it throws my schedule out of the window.
Look, these things matter to a chap.OK?
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Old 04-02-2010, 12:03 PM   #335
Nirvana
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Pie and CM being pissed off in the "What's making you happy?",thread
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Old 04-02-2010, 12:59 PM   #336
jinx
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The Onion

Quote:
Increasing Number Of Parents Opting To Have Children School-Homed


WASHINGTON—According to a report released Monday by the U.S. Department of Education, an increasing number of American parents are choosing to have their children raised at school rather than at home.
Deputy Education Secretary Anthony W. Miller said that many parents who school-home find U.S. households to be frightening, overwhelming environments for their children, and feel that they are just not conducive to producing well-rounded members of society.
Thousands of mothers and fathers polled in the study also believe that those running American homes cannot be trusted to keep their kids safe.
"Every year more parents are finding that their homes are not equipped to instill the right values in their children," Miller said. "When it comes to important life skills such as proper nutrition, safe sex, and even basic socialization, a growing number of mothers and fathers think it's better to rely on educators to guide and nurture their kids."
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:16 PM   #337
classicman
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HA HA HA HA HA THAT IS AWESOME!

and kinda true
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:52 PM   #338
Clodfobble
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Check out the photo caption:

Quote:
Parents of school-homed children say they relish the extra time they are able to spend away from their kids.
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Old 04-02-2010, 04:18 PM   #339
monster
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that's fucking hysterical.
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Old 04-02-2010, 08:42 PM   #340
SteveDallas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
that's fucking hysterical.
It's funny because it's true.
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Old 04-02-2010, 08:47 PM   #341
monster
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yup. The further you get into the article the truer it gets.

Quote:
"It's really a matter of who has more experience in dealing with my child," Cincinnati- resident Kevin Dufrense said of his decision to have his 10-year-old son Jake, who suffers from ADHD and dyslexia, school-homed. "These teachers are dealing with upwards of 40 students in their classrooms at a time, so obviously they know a lot more about children than someone like me, who only has one son and doesn't know where he is half the time anyway."
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Old 04-16-2010, 08:13 PM   #342
TheMercenary
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The Graham Norton Show...

The guy is an absoulte hoot.
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Old 04-21-2010, 10:05 PM   #343
monster
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Tonight's hockey game.

It's the first season after aging up into a level where they can check. Unbeknown to us parents, the coach told the team he'd give the boy with the most checks a Gatorade. My friend and I watched in amusement and surprise as her large but sweet and placid son started "bringing it on" with a few players -an elbow here, a slam there, at one point we thought he was about to start a fight.... and then he slammed a player into the boards so hard they stopped the game while they picked him up (player was ok). Naughty Kevin went to the penatly box, up he went on the board, then the ref stopped the game again to declare that it was actually two penalties to run one consecutively so 4 minutes in the box.... and then we saw the coach patting Naughty Kevin on the back, and then after the game the coach gave him his reward, multiple fist bumps and was all over how much his game had improved.... My poor friend was proud and mad at the same time. And very conflicted. I just find it funny. Amusing me no end. Probably not so much when it's my kid, although given he's literally half the weight of his buddy Kevin, it probably ain gonna happen.....
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Old 04-22-2010, 08:27 AM   #344
classicman
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lol - Seen that a time or two around here as well.

One note of caution, YOUR kid, being smaller, will be the target of the other teams players. Keep him working on his skating and agility. There is nothing better for your boy to see the big kid coming, move quickly and seeing the big kid end up checking himself into the boards.
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Old 04-22-2010, 09:59 AM   #345
xoxoxoBruce
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Get the boy a switchblade hockey stick.
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