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Old 05-03-2010, 07:58 PM   #3436
ferret88
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And there's always this.
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Old 05-03-2010, 08:21 PM   #3437
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Old 05-04-2010, 02:27 AM   #3438
toranokaze
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wwf wtf iff !fml
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It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge

The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.
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Old 05-04-2010, 06:09 AM   #3439
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Q: What is the sexual position that gives ugly children ?

















A: Ask your mother
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Old 05-04-2010, 11:00 PM   #3440
monster
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The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart
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Old 05-07-2010, 08:11 PM   #3441
TheMercenary
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A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"


"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff, Ffffff, Ffffff, but before she could say "Fuck!" the Rottweiler ate her!"

The teacher had to leave the room.
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Old 05-08-2010, 05:57 PM   #3442
monster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nirvana View Post
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!"

Before the mother could raise a concern,
Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a hidden smile,
Sally's Mom asked, "Really small, was it?"

Sally replied, "No... Salty."

Mom fainted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheMercenary View Post
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"


"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff, Ffffff, Ffffff, but before she could say "Fuck!" the Rottweiler ate her!"

The teacher had to leave the room.
What is it with this unnecessary last line business? Kills the joke, totally.
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Old 05-08-2010, 07:38 PM   #3443
squirell nutkin
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Remedial Joke telling.

The "Humor Impaired" America's fastest growing minority.


Actually, I think it is this pathetic trope that I see often in my inbox along with other Glurge purporting to be "True" accounts "From the mouths of babes" like so much regurgitated pablum.

As you point out, the jokes are great, the tagline shits it.
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Old 05-08-2010, 08:33 PM   #3444
monster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squirell nutkin View Post
Remedial Joke telling.

The "Humor Impaired" America's fastest growing minority.


Actually, I think it is this pathetic trope that I see often in my inbox along with other Glurge purporting to be "True" accounts "From the mouths of babes" like so much regurgitated pablum.

As you point out, the jokes are great, the tagline shits it.

And now I'm finished posting.
fix'd that for you
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Old 05-08-2010, 10:44 PM   #3445
squirell nutkin
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Actually lolled
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And now I'm finished posting.
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Old 05-08-2010, 11:07 PM   #3446
monster
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good Your ing made me which I needed cause I'm a little

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Old 05-09-2010, 11:58 PM   #3447
DangerouslySimple
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Man takes his fish into the veterinarian and says to the doc, "I think my fish has epilepsy."
Doctor takes a look at the fish thru the fishbowl and says, "I don't see anything wrong with him sir. He looks completely healthy."
Before the doctor could usher him out the exam room, the man replied, "Wait doc... Lemme take him outta the bowl!"
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Old 05-10-2010, 01:36 AM   #3448
UncaDollas
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The King of Rap?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb_j8DScFck

or was that the King of Heavy Metal?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnO7Pdm4ttc
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Old 05-10-2010, 05:04 AM   #3449
GunMaster357
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A guy got pulled on the side of the road by a police officer.

"Good morning, Officer. What's the problem ?"

"You were speeding well over the limit. Can I see your licence ? and have you name and profession ?"

"Of course, Name's John Smith, I'm an asshole enlarger and here is my licence."

"Asshole enlarger, seriously. What's that ?"

"You see, Officer, some people think they have too small an asshole. So they call upon my services to stretch it. Then I put gloves on, a lot of lubricant and insert first a finger then two, three, and son until I get my hand in. Then, I start working to insert the other hand. When I reach that step, I begin to use tools to keep the stretching going on. When they're real loose, I start using struts for shoring. I stop when they have a 6 foot asshole."

"Unbelievable ! And what can people do with a 6 foot asshole ?"

"They give him a uniform and put him on the side of the road.""
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Old 05-10-2010, 12:31 PM   #3450
Shawnee123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squirell nutkin View Post
Remedial Joke telling.

The "Humor Impaired" America's fastest growing minority.


Actually, I think it is this pathetic trope that I see often in my inbox along with other Glurge purporting to be "True" accounts "From the mouths of babes" like so much regurgitated pablum.

As you point out, the jokes are great, the tagline shits it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
fix'd that for you
Quote:
Originally Posted by squirell nutkin View Post
Actually lolled

'Cause see, I thought the joke in squirl's post was that As you point out, the jokes are great, the tagline shits it actually WAS a tagline, and therefore ironic.

I guess not.
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