Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 235

xoxoxoBruce · 08-23-2010, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lamplighter

Talk about nostalgia...

MS Word 5.0 back in the early days was about 100k and just about as good as the current version.
No bells-n-whistles, but a easy-to-use word processor.

But then, things were always better back in the dark recesses of my mind.

I was using open office, but it drove me crazy, trying to do what I didn't want to do. Then I found TinyWord, it's wonderful and free.

Scriveyn · 08-24-2010, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

... Nearly every time I create a report, the costumer is unhappy because it doesn't print right.

Well, artists can be difficult to please

I had trouble with my printer for months. Eventually, when I replaced the USB cable, all the troubles were gone

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

... it drove me crazy, trying to do what I didn't want to do. ...

I hate software that is trying to guess what I want to do - especially MS WORD and EXCEL. It takes forever to turn off all the automatic formatting/replacing options and even then there are some nauseating "features" left. Gets worse with each new version.

Oh, and I'm a programmer too.

Flint · 08-24-2010, 11:27 AM

Since MS Word replaced the WYSIWYG interface to create headers with an "easier" and "better" menu of canned options, it now takes me about half an hour to figure out how to create a headers as extravagant as the title centered at the top of the page and the page number right justified. Once they start making it "easier" it becomes impossible.

classicman · 08-23-2010, 06:13 PM

Awe Shel. I never knew you cared.

squirell nutkin · 08-23-2010, 09:56 PM

http://www.comedycentral.com/tosh.0/...elf-destructs/

gets good about 30 seconds in

Clodfobble · 08-26-2010, 11:08 PM

Let me state for the record, a bunch of poor Chilean miners being trapped underground for 2-4 months while they wait for rescue is not funny.

However, this MSNBC article about said miners has been absolutely cracking me up this evening. Scroll down to the bottom (you may have to click "show more text" to see the whole article first) and find the section where they display all the miners' photos, including little personal blurbs about each one underneath. I don't know who wrote these things, but some of them are very, very weird:

Quote:

Yonni Barrios
Age: 50
Marital status: Married
Driller. Wife has urged him to find different job after 25 years in mines.

Quote:

Juan Illanes
Age: 51
Marital status: Married
Spends free time with his wife. Has a son.

Quote:

Claudio Yanez
Age: 34
Marital status: Single
Supplemented mine pay with other jobs on days off.

Quote:

Ariel Ticona
Age: 29
Marital status: Married
Wife is six months' pregnant with his third child. Family says he likes parties.

And, you can filter the list by age range... in case you're only interested in the weird personal details of trapped miners who are 19-29 years old?

xoxoxoBruce · 08-27-2010, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Trapped miners need to watch their waistlines.

Quote:

Each miner trapped in that Chile mine must have a waistline smaller than 35 inches in order to escape through the mine shaft. NBC's Brian Williams reports.

Uh yeah, those guys trapped in the mine, better cut down on the partying and banquets.

Clodfobble · 08-27-2010, 09:16 AM

That's what they were trying to warn everyone about, that one miner "likes parties"...

squirell nutkin · 08-27-2010, 09:32 AM

"Doesn't much matter to me what you wear, just gonna be the two of us..."

BigV · 08-27-2010, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirell nutkin

"Doesn't much matter to me what you wear, just gonna be the two of us..."

Please tell the whole joke!

Pete Zicato · 08-27-2010, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV

Please tell the whole joke!

That would spoil its use as an oblique/obscure reference. How, then, would we be able to tell the outsiders?

BigV · 08-27-2010, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete Zicato

That would spoil its use as an oblique/obscure reference. How, then, would we be able to tell the outsiders?

Or, we could just use a numeric system:

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number six!" There was dead silence in the cell block. He asks the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?"

"Well," said the older man, "sometimes it's not the joke, but how you tell it."

spudcon · 09-02-2010, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirell nutkin

"Doesn't much matter to me what you wear, just gonna be the two of us..."

Remember the song "Timothy?"

Gravdigr · 09-02-2010, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spudcon

Remember the song "Timothy?"

Timmah??

BigV · 08-27-2010, 11:20 PM

There is me, and you're all outsiders.

minus the ones that live in my head of course.

08-24-2010, 11:27 AM	#3
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	Since MS Word replaced the WYSIWYG interface to create headers with an "easier" and "better" menu of canned options, it now takes me about half an hour to figure out how to create a headers as extravagant as the title centered at the top of the page and the page number right justified. Once they start making it "easier" it becomes impossible. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

08-23-2010, 06:13 PM	#4
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Awe Shel. I never knew you cared. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

08-23-2010, 09:56 PM	#5
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	http://www.comedycentral.com/tosh.0/...elf-destructs/ gets good about 30 seconds in __________________ And now I'm finished posting.

08-27-2010, 09:16 AM	#8
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	That's what they were trying to warn everyone about, that one miner "likes parties"... __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

08-27-2010, 09:32 AM	#9
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	"Doesn't much matter to me what you wear, just gonna be the two of us..." __________________ And now I'm finished posting.

08-27-2010, 11:20 PM	#15
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	There is me, and you're all outsiders. minus the ones that live in my head of course. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

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