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Old 08-20-2010, 08:31 PM   #3586
Undertoad
Radical Centrist
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
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Excellent Craigslist post: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/1881050881.html
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Old 08-20-2010, 09:12 PM   #3587
Nirvana
Back in 10
 
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Speaking simply... do not confuse this with having a simple mind.
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Old 08-20-2010, 10:56 PM   #3588
monster
I hear them call the tide
 
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excellent ut
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Old 08-21-2010, 12:52 AM   #3589
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.
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Old 08-21-2010, 04:05 AM   #3590
ZenGum
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Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
That's nothing. On failbook today there are two post series, one grappling with the question of where the other half of the moon goes during a half-moon, and the other struggling to cope with the concept of a spherical Earth.
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Old 08-21-2010, 10:30 AM   #3591
squirell nutkin
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Ha! Zen, Go ahead and laugh. Any moment you and your Australian friends will be falling off the earth because you are upside down!!111!
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Old 08-21-2010, 10:52 AM   #3592
jinx
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How can plain land on a treadmill if its upside down? Please exsplain.
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Old 08-21-2010, 11:18 AM   #3593
Shawnee123
Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya?
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 21,206
Wow, I knew you Aussies were backwards but I had no idea you were also upside down.
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Old 08-21-2010, 07:22 PM   #3594
ZenGum
Doctor Wtf
 
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Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
Jinx, well OBVIOUSLY, we put the treadmill upside down too. Then the plane can land on (or should that be under) the underneath side of it. Clear?

It is worth noting that the round earth debaters often wrote "aeroplane", which is British-style English, so these twits are probably not from the US. "Plain" and "gravaty" can be attributed to general stupidity, but we knew that already.
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Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008.
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Old 08-22-2010, 01:54 AM   #3595
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhianne View Post
Two flies were sitting on (I'm sorry about this) some dog shit. Suddenly one of them farts and the other looks at him disgusted, "Do you mind", he says, "I'm trying to eat my dinner here".
I saw a t-shirt...on it was two piles of shit...a fly was on one pile of shit...a fly was hovering over the other pile of shit...The hovering fly says to the first fly, "Pardon me, is this stool taken?"

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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
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Old 08-23-2010, 03:08 AM   #3596
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?

Monitor: No prob, boss.

Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?

Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.

Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?

Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.

Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?

Mouse: Of course.

Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.

Monitor: Oh God, here we go.

Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?

Printer: No.

Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.

Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!

Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne...

Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.

Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.

Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!

Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.

Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!

Computer: You're not out of in...

Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!

Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.

Monitor: But sir, he has plen...

Computer: Just do it, damn it!

Monitor: Yes sir.

Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!

Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.

Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!

Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!

Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!

Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?

Computer: No. He did this to himself.

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Old 08-23-2010, 04:24 AM   #3597
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
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Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
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Old 08-23-2010, 11:07 AM   #3598
Lamplighter
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods
Posts: 6,402
Cast of characters:

Computer: xoxoxoBruce
Monitor: UnderToad
Mouse: Wolf
Keyboard: LumberJim
Printer: ? ? ?

(No evil intended)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?

Monitor: No prob, boss.

Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?

Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.

Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?

Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.

Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?

Mouse: Of course.

Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.

Monitor: Oh God, here we go.

Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?

Printer: No.

Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.

Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!

Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne...

Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.

Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.

Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!

Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.

Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!

Computer: You're not out of in...

Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!

Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.

Monitor: But sir, he has plen...

Computer: Just do it, damn it!

Monitor: Yes sir.

Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!

Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.

Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!

Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!

Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!

Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?

Computer: No. He did this to himself.

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Old 08-23-2010, 11:51 AM   #3599
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
I'll be the person banging on the keyboard .... wouldn't be the first time.
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Old 08-23-2010, 12:17 PM   #3600
squirell nutkin
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And now I'm finished posting.
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