What is pissing you off this time? - Page 25

Stormieweather · 11-09-2011, 06:14 PM

@Aliantha - they're not going to make any money on the sale. A short sale means the owner has a hardship and cannot keep up with his mortgage, so the mortgage holder has agreed to a sale for less than the mortgage. The owner gets to walk away without ruining his credit but he doesn't keep a dime.

@Spexxvet and Lamp - I don't want to buy the house. I have no ues for a 4 bedroom house after my oldest daughter moves out, which will probably be in the next couple of years. My financial plan calls for the purchase of a 2 bedroom condo/townhouse with a 15yr mortgage at a certain dollar amount, which is supposed to be paid off when I retire.

I don't blame the owner. He expressed that he really, really didn't want this. It happens all too often in this economy, I had just hoped this wouldn't happen to MY landlord.

We have 30 days notice requirements (both ways), once the lease expires the end of the month and hopefully, I can find another nice house. But it will still cost me a couple grand to get moved, unfortunately. And a lot of sweat!! A lot of people suggest I stop paying rent or not pay the last month's rent, but I won't do that. I always fulfill my legal obligations.

Lamplighter · 11-09-2011, 06:21 PM

Good on you Stormie... if I had a place, I'd rent to you !

Aliantha · 11-09-2011, 06:27 PM

Ahh, I didn't know what a short sale was. Makes more sense now then. Maybe you should try and buy the house, then sell it when you're done with it? Specially if it's a good deal and you can afford it. At least then you're not at the mercy of the rent gods anymore.

ZenGum · 11-09-2011, 06:40 PM

Any chance the new owner would let you keep renting it?

Stormieweather · 11-09-2011, 06:51 PM

There's always a chance of that, Zen. They can either have us sign a lease and present the property as an investment property, or leave us month-to-month to attract owner occupants.

I have weighed hanging in until the last minute, but don't want to be rushed into finding a new place to live. So think I'll quit worrying until after New Year's, and then start looking in earnest.

HungLikeJesus · 11-09-2011, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

Notice to all consumers: when you do this, we hate you.

Yes, but you still want our money.

Trilby · 11-10-2011, 04:29 AM

My son has OcD.

he refuses all treatment.

I'm just supposed to let him go about doing what he does and pay for all the soap, water, etcc. that his OcD requires.

I woke up this morning and the faucet in the bathroom was running. He had left it ON all NIGHT.

My water bill DOUBLES when he lives here and he's NOT doing his OcD thing. Now I imagine it will be TRIPLE.

I"m very upset. It's like living with an active alcoholic because his OcD rules change every day (one day it's ok to touch something and the next day it's NOT okay to touch it) he's constantly on edge and woe unto me if I run out of soap.

It's driving me fookin' crazy. I am getting desperate.

Aliantha · 11-10-2011, 05:02 AM

I don't have any advice, but I feel sorry for you Bri. Is there maybe a support group you could join just to learn some coping strategies or something?

Sorry but that's all I've got.

Trilby · 11-10-2011, 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

I don't have any advice, but I feel sorry for you Bri. Is there maybe a support group you could join just to learn some coping strategies or something?

Sorry but that's all I've got.

thanks, Ali.

I was thinking I could go to Al-anon (which is for the loved ones of an alcoholic - for co-dependants) because it really is like living with an active alcoholic. I feel like I have walk on eggshells around him so he doesn't freak out (which happened a few weeks ago and was NOT pretty)

ugh.

If he would at least TRY to get help but he's not at ALL interested in getting any.

Aliantha · 11-10-2011, 05:18 AM

I guess most of us live in denial about our problems till they get way out of hand. Does he realise he has a problem at least?

I hope you can get some help though. It must be pretty tough emotionally, let alone the financial expense.

Was he like this before you got sick? Could it have something to do with that at all? Is family counselling an option at all?

ZenGum · 11-10-2011, 05:22 AM

"Oi, kid.

Get help or move out."

If only it were that easy. I'm sure it's not. But I do think that is the general direction to be heading.

Afterthought. Change that or to and/or.

Clodfobble · 11-10-2011, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

he refuses all treatment.

Force him to a psych once. Get the psych to give you a scrip. Agree with the son afterwards that he doesn't have to take it if he doesn't want to.

And then dose his orange juice every morning.

Side question: Has he always had OCD symptoms, or has it become worse or started up entirely in recent years?

Trilby · 11-11-2011, 05:53 AM

I tried to kick him out a few weeks ago and he got physical with me (he is 6'6") and threatened harm to me and my house. (specifically kicking the TV in) Then he went to make a move like he was going to kick it in and stopped mid-swing and then came up to me in a menacing way. I said, "get out," and he said, basically, "Make me!"

when he was 13 he suffered from psychotic depression. he was on an antidepressant and risperdal (antipychotic). He was on it for a year and saw a doc regularly. He was eventually weaned off and seemed fine. This is when the ocd (handwashing and fear of certain objects becasue they were "evil") started.

Last Feb. he started to have these thoughts (evil things) again. He saw three different docs who ALL said he should be on an antidepressant. He rejects that. he thinks it makes him less than a man to take meds (this shame is from his father who thinks anyone on meds is a goddamn baby, etc.) and he refuses to talk abou it - yelling at me when I try to bring it up that talking "only makes it worse," I am also NOT to interrupt him during one of his rituals. If I say, "That's enough handwashing" I am making it worse.

He won't sleep in his room/bed so uses my living room for his bedroom. all his shit is there, he sleeps on the couch. See - something is evil about his room/bed but I'm not allowed to know what is wrong or to even allude to it. I'm just supposed to bring his clean towels, soap and hundreds of dollars in water. The other day he washed his hands for half an hour.

I'm going crazy.

MY therapist says You are Responsible for Your Own Feelings. So - what do I do?????

eta - he's 20 now. And he goes to college and he works a small job as a magician. His father has kicked him out of his home because he couldn't stand the OCD shit so the kid, who before split his time between us, now is with ME all the time.

Griff · 11-11-2011, 06:24 AM

I'm so sorry Bri. I don't know what you can do, but you've got to keep yourself safe.

monster · 11-11-2011, 06:54 AM

Frankly, I think you need to evict him. But I'm a harsh bitch and I've never been in your situation. Change the locks while he's out, leave his stuff on the porch with a note that says "I love you but I have to do this for both of us. When you've seen a doctor and got some medication to help then we can discuss further" and call the police if he gets violent. You have to put yourself and your personal safety first. You're no help to him in hospital/the morgue.

11-09-2011, 06:14 PM	#361
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,181	@Aliantha - they're not going to make any money on the sale. A short sale means the owner has a hardship and cannot keep up with his mortgage, so the mortgage holder has agreed to a sale for less than the mortgage. The owner gets to walk away without ruining his credit but he doesn't keep a dime. @Spexxvet and Lamp - I don't want to buy the house. I have no ues for a 4 bedroom house after my oldest daughter moves out, which will probably be in the next couple of years. My financial plan calls for the purchase of a 2 bedroom condo/townhouse with a 15yr mortgage at a certain dollar amount, which is supposed to be paid off when I retire. I don't blame the owner. He expressed that he really, really didn't want this. It happens all too often in this economy, I had just hoped this wouldn't happen to MY landlord. We have 30 days notice requirements (both ways), once the lease expires the end of the month and hopefully, I can find another nice house. But it will still cost me a couple grand to get moved, unfortunately. And a lot of sweat!! A lot of people suggest I stop paying rent or not pay the last month's rent, but I won't do that. I always fulfill my legal obligations. __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

11-09-2011, 06:27 PM	#363
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Ahh, I didn't know what a short sale was. Makes more sense now then. Maybe you should try and buy the house, then sell it when you're done with it? Specially if it's a good deal and you can afford it. At least then you're not at the mercy of the rent gods anymore. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-09-2011, 06:40 PM	#364
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Any chance the new owner would let you keep renting it? __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

11-09-2011, 06:51 PM	#365
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,181	There's always a chance of that, Zen. They can either have us sign a lease and present the property as an investment property, or leave us month-to-month to attract owner occupants. I have weighed hanging in until the last minute, but don't want to be rushed into finding a new place to live. So think I'll quit worrying until after New Year's, and then start looking in earnest. __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

11-10-2011, 04:29 AM	#367
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	My son has OcD. he refuses all treatment. I'm just supposed to let him go about doing what he does and pay for all the soap, water, etcc. that his OcD requires. I woke up this morning and the faucet in the bathroom was running. He had left it ON all NIGHT. My water bill DOUBLES when he lives here and he's NOT doing his OcD thing. Now I imagine it will be TRIPLE. I"m very upset. It's like living with an active alcoholic because his OcD rules change every day (one day it's ok to touch something and the next day it's NOT okay to touch it) he's constantly on edge and woe unto me if I run out of soap. It's driving me fookin' crazy. I am getting desperate. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-09-2011, 06:21 PM	#362
Lamplighter Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods Posts: 6,402	Good on you Stormie... if I had a place, I'd rent to you !

11-10-2011, 05:02 AM	#368
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I don't have any advice, but I feel sorry for you Bri. Is there maybe a support group you could join just to learn some coping strategies or something? Sorry but that's all I've got. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-10-2011, 05:18 AM	#370
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I guess most of us live in denial about our problems till they get way out of hand. Does he realise he has a problem at least? I hope you can get some help though. It must be pretty tough emotionally, let alone the financial expense. Was he like this before you got sick? Could it have something to do with that at all? Is family counselling an option at all? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-10-2011, 05:22 AM	#371
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	"Oi, kid. Get help or move out." If only it were that easy. I'm sure it's not. But I do think that is the general direction to be heading. Afterthought. Change that or to and/or. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

11-11-2011, 05:53 AM	#373
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I tried to kick him out a few weeks ago and he got physical with me (he is 6'6") and threatened harm to me and my house. (specifically kicking the TV in) Then he went to make a move like he was going to kick it in and stopped mid-swing and then came up to me in a menacing way. I said, "get out," and he said, basically, "Make me!" when he was 13 he suffered from psychotic depression. he was on an antidepressant and risperdal (antipychotic). He was on it for a year and saw a doc regularly. He was eventually weaned off and seemed fine. This is when the ocd (handwashing and fear of certain objects becasue they were "evil") started. Last Feb. he started to have these thoughts (evil things) again. He saw three different docs who ALL said he should be on an antidepressant. He rejects that. he thinks it makes him less than a man to take meds (this shame is from his father who thinks anyone on meds is a goddamn baby, etc.) and he refuses to talk abou it - yelling at me when I try to bring it up that talking "only makes it worse," I am also NOT to interrupt him during one of his rituals. If I say, "That's enough handwashing" I am making it worse. He won't sleep in his room/bed so uses my living room for his bedroom. all his shit is there, he sleeps on the couch. See - something is evil about his room/bed but I'm not allowed to know what is wrong or to even allude to it. I'm just supposed to bring his clean towels, soap and hundreds of dollars in water. The other day he washed his hands for half an hour. I'm going crazy. MY therapist says You are Responsible for Your Own Feelings. So - what do I do????? eta - he's 20 now. And he goes to college and he works a small job as a magician. His father has kicked him out of his home because he couldn't stand the OCD shit so the kid, who before split his time between us, now is with ME all the time. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-11-2011, 06:24 AM	#374
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I'm so sorry Bri. I don't know what you can do, but you've got to keep yourself safe. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

11-11-2011, 06:54 AM	#375
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Frankly, I think you need to evict him. But I'm a harsh bitch and I've never been in your situation. Change the locks while he's out, leave his stuff on the porch with a note that says "I love you but I have to do this for both of us. When you've seen a doctor and got some medication to help then we can discuss further" and call the police if he gets violent. You have to put yourself and your personal safety first. You're no help to him in hospital/the morgue. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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