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#361 | |
changed his status to single
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Right behind you. No, the other side.
Posts: 10,308
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Quote:
i'm glad you posted that bruce - i came across that little tidbit several months ago but knew i couldn't post it without being slammed for being some sort of neocon prick. i think the whole thing was pretty damned hilarious.
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Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin |
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#362 |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Just because you didn't post it doesn't mean you're not a neocon prick.
![]() Seriously though, why this attack of thin skin? btw- Somebody told me the state police caught some of our local Dems coming out of the Chester, PA, state prison on Friday night. They supposedly had boxes of absentee ballots and some sleazily dressed women with them. I haven't seen anything on the news but I've been pretty busy. ![]()
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. Last edited by xoxoxoBruce; 10-31-2004 at 02:33 PM. |
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#363 |
The urban Jane Goodall
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,012
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Here in La there is a push to get ballots into the prison for the people awaiting trial. As long as they aren't already convicted of some other felony I'm fine with that.
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I have gained this from philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law. - Aristotle |
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#364 | |
changed his status to single
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Right behind you. No, the other side.
Posts: 10,308
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Quote:
like i've said before - from the available list of choices i think bush is most closely matches my priorities and world view. i want him to win. i have concerns with a kerry victory. BUT - i don't believe either choice will be cataclysmic. many around here do. so until after the election is settled i will avoid most of the political discussions and jabs here.
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Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin |
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#365 | |
As stable as a ring of PU-239
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: On a huge rock covered in water, highly advanced moss and 7 billion parasites
Posts: 1,264
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It would seem not everything in my Email box is garbage...
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"I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then getting' upset 'cos they act like people." ~Adam Young, Good Omens "I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out." ~Adam Young, Good Omens |
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#366 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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Two dutch girls are riding their bikes through the streets of Amsterdam, as it starts getting late they realize they are pretty far from home. Anxiously, one girl leans toward her friend and says:
"You know, I've never come this way before." Her friend replies: "It's the cobblestones."
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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#367 |
To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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A blonde is driving her car and it just conks out. She calls the garage and they send someone over to look at it. The mechanic lokks under the hood for a while and fiddles around a bit, then starts the car.
"What's the deal with the car?" Asks the Blonde. "Aw, just crap in the carburator." He says. "Really? How often do I have to do that?"
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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#368 |
Lecturer
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: CT USA
Posts: 826
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Celebratory Lunch
George Bush and Dick Cheney are enjoying a celebration lunch at a fancy Washington restaurant. Their waitress approaches their table to take their order; she is young and very attractive.
She asks Cheney what he wants, and he replies, "I'll have the heart-healthy salad." "Very good, sir," she replies, and turning to Bush she asks, "And what do you want, Mr. President?" Bush answers, "How about a quickie?" Taken aback, the waitress slaps him and says, "I'm shocked and disappointed in you. I thought you were committed to high principles and morality. I'm sorry I voted for you." With that, the waitress departed in a huff. Cheney leans over to Bush, and says, "Mr. President, I believe that's pronounced 'quiche'".
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"To disarm the people is the most effectual way to enslave them." ~George Mason~ |
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#369 | |
Enemy Combatant/Evildoer
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 263
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Quote:
Note from the left: Jessie Jackson really doesn't count anymore, not even to us. You may fire away, and I can promise you that I won't be jumping to his defense, and most of us lefties would probably be sticking with me.
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The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. ---Friedrich Nietzsche |
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#370 |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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Does that mean that we can tell the airplane joke and use the n-word too?
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![]() ![]() "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
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#371 |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United States when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!" Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you." Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!" Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!" "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war." "I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners of war."
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![]() ![]() "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
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#372 |
*shameless....so stop trying so hard....*-me
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Colorado location*
Posts: 215
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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?.........
Let's go ride bikes!!
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- I know we won't meet again in the season of blossoms, And I won't sit quietly by drunk in my chamber- YU HSUAN- CHI Ninth Century, CHANG' AN |
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#373 |
*shameless....so stop trying so hard....*-me
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Colorado location*
Posts: 215
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I'm a light bulb joke fan...........
How many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?........ YOU DON'T KNOW YOU WEREN'T THERE!!! ![]() And......... P.S. For the people that think I am Mari.....I now have undeniable proof I'm not! ![]()
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- I know we won't meet again in the season of blossoms, And I won't sit quietly by drunk in my chamber- YU HSUAN- CHI Ninth Century, CHANG' AN |
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#374 |
When Do I Get Virtual Unreality?
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Raytown, Missouri
Posts: 12,719
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Well, I'm not one of those who necessarily think that you are Mari, but just for the sake of argument, what's the proof?
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog |
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#375 |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.
On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke. "Well, sister, this looks pretty grim." "I know, father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." "I agree", says the Father, "Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" "Anything, Father." "I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours." "Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm." The nun opened her habit and the priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. "Sister, would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. "Father, could I ask something of you?" "Yes, Sister?" "I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?" "I suppose that would be OK," the priest replied lifting his robe. "Oh Father, may I touch it?" This time the priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life." "Is that true father?" "Yes, it is, Sister." "Oh Father that's wonderful, stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here."
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![]() ![]() "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis Last edited by wolf; 11-11-2004 at 11:54 AM. |
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