What's upsetting you today? - Page 257

glatt · 04-28-2009, 10:31 AM

Wow. That really does suck. Sorry case.

Undertoad · 04-28-2009, 10:38 AM

Some prick is angling to have today's iotd taken down for copyright violation.

classicman · 04-28-2009, 11:15 AM

Sorry case - thats awful.

04-28-2009, 11:21 AM

Oh, man, Case. That's terrible in an extra special way.

capnhowdy · 04-28-2009, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Some prick is angling to have today's iotd taken down for copyright violation.

That sux. I always wondered about that.

Aliantha · 04-28-2009, 04:30 PM

Does your MIL realize she's hurting you?

It's a suckful thing for her to do, but I guess there must be something about the ex that she really liked. That doesn't have to mean there's anything about you that she doesn't like does it? Maybe she's just trying to be supportive of her grandkids and show that she doesn't hold a grudge?

Clodfobble · 04-28-2009, 05:32 PM

There's only one solution, case. Mothers-in-law are 100% completely and totally driven by the presence and condition of their grandchildren. You have to have a baby with mac_tire, and then all of a sudden you'll be her new favoritest person in the whole world. [/voiceofexperience]

DanaC · 04-28-2009, 06:06 PM

...Or, the target of even more negativity as you fail to measure up to her high standards of mothering and begin the slow agonising process of ruining her grandchildren, forcing her to take charge and intervene for their future happiness :P

Sounds like a nasty situation Case. But, at the end of the day you're with your partner, not his family. Doesn't make it easy, but it's worth reminding yourself now and then.

kerosene · 04-28-2009, 06:53 PM

Thanks, you guys, for your supportive suggestions. It has been 5 years, now and yes, it is a painful and near constant thorn in my paw for as long as I have known mac_tire.

Ali: Unfortunately, I am unable to talk to MIL about how it hurts me, because I am afraid she will not take me seriously, and instead cut me down to the ex-wife and in other gossip circles (primarily the religious faith group she is a part of.) Or she might take my complaints as efforts to control mac_tire and evidence that I am the reason for all negative changes in his (her) life. Either way, it will only make her worse. She once told me "he seems happy, but really he isn't...you are just a phase in his life that I know he will grow out of." I swear she must think he is still 6. Yes, she does favor the ex, because to her, she represented "things as they should be." They are both part of the same religious organization, which I don't participate in, and neither does mac_tire. There is a lot of "us vs. them" mentality with them, so they naturally sort of bond together, even at the expense of their children. Yes, I acknowledge that there needs to be an example for the grandchildren. That's cool. But some of her actions go beyond that and into betrayal. Ex, herself, even asked that MIL take the picture down citing that the image was "hideous." (yes, of course they are "facebook friends")

Clod: Thanks for your expert advice.

Yes, in fact, mac_tire are in the midst of those very discussions, though not for the benefit of the MIL relationship. She is either going to decide to get over the past and accept mac_tire's choices or not. I guess I need to deal with the fact that I have absolutely no power over whether or not she does that. And I should not flog myself over not being accepted by MIL. I suppose having a baby with mac_tire would suddenly turn the magnet to her and she would want to be uber-involved, which would not actually be an improvement. I must be careful not to let that affect me.

Dana: Yes, as we discuss the possibility of growing the mac_tire/case clan, that is a concern of mine. But, I have a very supportive husband, who will not allow anyone (even MIL) to control how we do things. You are right. I married mac_tire. Not MIL. And the fact that we live 10 hours from MIL is testament to the fact that husband doesn't leave himself or our relationship open to her meddling.

Anyway, I appreciate the encouragement. Now, it is mostly a me issue...I gotta let this kind of stuff go. Once I learn how to do that I am sure I will be stronger for it, all said and done. But I am sure I will have no hair left on my head!

Aliantha · 04-29-2009, 01:50 AM

Also yesterday I found out one of my cousins is among the 450 troops heading to Afghanistan in May. He'll be there for at least 6 months.

We're all worried about his safety.

capnhowdy · 04-29-2009, 07:00 AM

We sent of our 148th last week. Had a parade. God bless them.

BigV · 04-30-2009, 12:03 PM

Fuck.

Going to the adjuster's now.

kerosene · 04-30-2009, 12:04 PM

Sucky!!! I am sorry, V. Did the other guy have insurance?

Undertoad · 04-30-2009, 12:08 PM

Christ, it got the bumper, the rear qtr panel, the hatch, the light, and it left a nasty scratch on your license plate.

Chocolatl · 04-30-2009, 12:59 PM

Ouch, BigV. What happened there?

04-28-2009, 11:15 AM	#3843
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Sorry case - thats awful. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

04-28-2009, 04:30 PM	#3846
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Does your MIL realize she's hurting you? It's a suckful thing for her to do, but I guess there must be something about the ex that she really liked. That doesn't have to mean there's anything about you that she doesn't like does it? Maybe she's just trying to be supportive of her grandkids and show that she doesn't hold a grudge? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

04-28-2009, 05:32 PM	#3847
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	There's only one solution, case. Mothers-in-law are 100% completely and totally driven by the presence and condition of their grandchildren. You have to have a baby with mac_tire, and then all of a sudden you'll be her new favoritest person in the whole world. [/voiceofexperience] __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

04-29-2009, 01:50 AM	#3850
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Also yesterday I found out one of my cousins is among the 450 troops heading to Afghanistan in May. He'll be there for at least 6 months. We're all worried about his safety. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

04-29-2009, 07:00 AM	#3851
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	We sent of our 148th last week. Had a parade. God bless them. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

04-28-2009, 10:31 AM	#3841
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Wow. That really does suck. Sorry case.

04-28-2009, 10:38 AM	#3842
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Some prick is angling to have today's iotd taken down for copyright violation.

04-28-2009, 11:21 AM	#3844
Tiki Guest Posts: n/a	Oh, man, Case. That's terrible in an extra special way.

04-28-2009, 06:06 PM	#3848
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	...Or, the target of even more negativity as you fail to measure up to her high standards of mothering and begin the slow agonising process of ruining her grandchildren, forcing her to take charge and intervene for their future happiness :P Sounds like a nasty situation Case. But, at the end of the day you're with your partner, not his family. Doesn't make it easy, but it's worth reminding yourself now and then.

04-28-2009, 06:53 PM	#3849
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	Thanks, you guys, for your supportive suggestions. It has been 5 years, now and yes, it is a painful and near constant thorn in my paw for as long as I have known mac_tire. Ali: Unfortunately, I am unable to talk to MIL about how it hurts me, because I am afraid she will not take me seriously, and instead cut me down to the ex-wife and in other gossip circles (primarily the religious faith group she is a part of.) Or she might take my complaints as efforts to control mac_tire and evidence that I am the reason for all negative changes in his (her) life. Either way, it will only make her worse. She once told me "he seems happy, but really he isn't...you are just a phase in his life that I know he will grow out of." I swear she must think he is still 6. Yes, she does favor the ex, because to her, she represented "things as they should be." They are both part of the same religious organization, which I don't participate in, and neither does mac_tire. There is a lot of "us vs. them" mentality with them, so they naturally sort of bond together, even at the expense of their children. Yes, I acknowledge that there needs to be an example for the grandchildren. That's cool. But some of her actions go beyond that and into betrayal. Ex, herself, even asked that MIL take the picture down citing that the image was "hideous." (yes, of course they are "facebook friends") Clod: Thanks for your expert advice. Yes, in fact, mac_tire are in the midst of those very discussions, though not for the benefit of the MIL relationship. She is either going to decide to get over the past and accept mac_tire's choices or not. I guess I need to deal with the fact that I have absolutely no power over whether or not she does that. And I should not flog myself over not being accepted by MIL. I suppose having a baby with mac_tire would suddenly turn the magnet to her and she would want to be uber-involved, which would not actually be an improvement. I must be careful not to let that affect me. Dana: Yes, as we discuss the possibility of growing the mac_tire/case clan, that is a concern of mine. But, I have a very supportive husband, who will not allow anyone (even MIL) to control how we do things. You are right. I married mac_tire. Not MIL. And the fact that we live 10 hours from MIL is testament to the fact that husband doesn't leave himself or our relationship open to her meddling. Anyway, I appreciate the encouragement. Now, it is mostly a me issue...I gotta let this kind of stuff go. Once I learn how to do that I am sure I will be stronger for it, all said and done. But I am sure I will have no hair left on my head!

04-30-2009, 12:03 PM	#3852
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Fuck. Going to the adjuster's now. Attached Images __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

04-30-2009, 12:04 PM	#3853
kerosene Touring the facilities Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The plains of Colorado Posts: 3,476	Sucky!!! I am sorry, V. Did the other guy have insurance?

04-30-2009, 12:08 PM	#3854
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Christ, it got the bumper, the rear qtr panel, the hatch, the light, and it left a nasty scratch on your license plate.

04-30-2009, 12:59 PM	#3855
Chocolatl Glutton for Gluttony Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 1,409	Ouch, BigV. What happened there?

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