Humor...I Need Humor...

[Gravdigr]

"If light stay on more than 4 hour, call erectrician."

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

"If light stay on more than 4 hour, call erectrician."

A good friend of mine DIED from a 4 hour erection, you insensitive bastard!!!

(Of course, it was MY 4-hour erection that killed him!)

[BrianR]

A small zoo in Georgia obtained a very rare species of gorilla.

Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00.

[BrianR]

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down.
You will have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests.
What'll it be?"
The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains ."
"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count' St. Peter?" "
No I told you the computer's down, There's no way we can keep track of what you are doing."
In that case" says the second priest, I've always wanted to be a stud.
"So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests.
"Will you have any trouble locating them? he asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter,
"He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles.
But the second one could prove to be more difficult."
Why asks the Lord
"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in Minnesota "

[Rhianne]

I went out into the garden today and was shocked to find my ex-husband lying face down in the grass.

The stupid dog had dug him up again.

[TheMercenary]

Big Boobz (SFW sort of)

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...-big-boob.html

[GunMaster357]

The best fun are the children comments.

While not shocked, I agree that it's was a poor choice for a morning talk show.

I am a guy and I love tits but I don't understand this fascination with huge boobs. In fact, I don't like enhanced breasts.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

In fact, I don't like enhanced breasts.

[Gravdigr]

.

[classicman]

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

I don't like enhanced breasts.

I'll even go on record as saying that I dislike them... a lot.

[footfootfoot]

The main problem with them is that they are the "almond eyes" of breasts. They are a caricature of breasts. A sculptor should have been hired to make the implants, not some doctor who got a C- in art class.

[GunMaster357]

I have nothing against "big" boobs as long as they're Mother Nature's gift. It is the artificial ones that I don't like. I especially dislike the feel when I touch them.

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by GunMaster357

I have nothing against "big" boobs as long as they're Mother Nature's gift. It is the artificial ones that I don't like. I especially dislike the feel when I touch them.

Perhaps if you asked for permission first. ;-)

LOL!

[monster]

Chelsea, from Minneapolis in the US, got the giant boobs by having them injected with polypropylene - a substance used to make packaging. It irritates the breast lining making them swell - and they are still growing at a rate of one inch a month

that really is WTF

I give it less than 10 years before she or her beneficiaries are suing the "medical" team responsible.

[monster]

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

A good friend of mine DIED from a 4 hour erection, you insensitive bastard!!!

Did someone fly a plane into it?