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Old 07-18-2011, 11:23 PM   #4066
ZenGum
Doctor Wtf
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
Posts: 12,861
I showed it to a Spanish friend and he laughed too.

I was a LOLin' Juan.
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Old 07-19-2011, 10:47 PM   #4067
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman. "How about global warming, universal health care or stimulus packages?" as he smiled smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care or the economy when you don't know crap?"

Then she went back to reading her book.
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Old 07-23-2011, 01:44 PM   #4068
regular.joe
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NC, dreaming of large Russian women.
Posts: 1,464
If I have a rooster and you have a donkey, and your donkey eats the feet off of my rooster what do you have?

Wait for it.....

Two feet of my cock in your ass.
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Death, like birth, is a secret of Nature. - Marcus Aurelius.
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Old 07-24-2011, 04:07 AM   #4069
Gravdigr
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
Hah!
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These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
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Old 07-24-2011, 04:00 PM   #4070
skysidhe
~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~
 
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Old 07-26-2011, 08:42 AM   #4071
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
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~~~
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Old 07-26-2011, 09:02 AM   #4072
GunMaster357
Professor
 
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Location: Brest (FRANCE)
Posts: 1,837
What's the difference between a watchman and a police officer?



As a watchman, you may feel like a cop
but as a police officer, you can cop a feel
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Old 07-26-2011, 10:17 AM   #4073
Spexxvet
Makes some feel uncomfortable
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,346
What's the difference between a pigmy tribe and a girls hockey team?

A pigmy tribe is a bunch of cunning runts

A girls hockey team is a bunch of running c*nts
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Old 07-26-2011, 10:41 AM   #4074
Spexxvet
Makes some feel uncomfortable
 
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Posts: 10,346
What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?

A pick pocket snatches watches

A peeping Tom watches snatches
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Old 07-26-2011, 11:02 AM   #4075
infinite monkey
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What's the difference between Spexxvett and (insert name of any asshat here)?

One's a smart feller and the nother is a fart smeller.
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Old 07-26-2011, 11:19 AM   #4076
Spexxvet
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Old 07-26-2011, 11:32 AM   #4077
BigV
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
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What's the difference between a poor golfer and a poor skydiver?

One of them goes "Thwack!... shit."
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Old 07-26-2011, 11:52 AM   #4078
infinite monkey
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And that's when he went to the drycleaners.
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Old 07-26-2011, 11:52 AM   #4079
infinite monkey
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And that's when she ate two tylenol.
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Old 08-03-2011, 07:11 PM   #4080
Gravdigr
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,
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