Tasteless Jokes - Page 28

crazybuoy · 06-22-2010, 02:24 AM

The top ten signs that someone is using your e-mail account

10. "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?"

9. One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is slapping cuffs on you.

8. Apparently, your flame war with DonCorleone@mafia.com is about to turn ugly.

7. When you log on, your computer says "You've got lawsuits!"

6. You're suddenly getting more Spam than the Hormel outlet store.

5. Sotheby's says the Rembrandt is yours and that you now owe them $71,000,000 and change.

4. You now have 130,000 ClubTop5 subscriptions and the list moderator is on the cover of Business Week.

3. Terse "Knock it off, Oedipus" e-mail from your Mom.

2. Your wife calls you at the office to report that Pogdi, your Pakistani mail-order bride, has arrived.

1. "The resistance welcomes your involvement. Your contact information has been forwarded to a local insurgent who will bring supplies and reinforcements to you immediately."

GunMaster357 · 06-22-2010, 02:50 AM

If it is true that you are what you eat then I am....

.... a pussy.

GunMaster357 · 06-22-2010, 03:56 AM

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room?

A: One... If you throw it hard enough

GunMaster357 · 06-24-2010, 04:11 AM

Pick the odd one out: a woman, a washing machine, a toaster and the garden hose?

The toaster, the rest leak when they're fucked.

06-28-2010, 01:33 PM

how did canada get its name?
You take a C eh, and an N eh, and you take a D eh

06-28-2010, 01:37 PM

view from a black man in a well

GunMaster357 · 06-30-2010, 03:10 AM

Q: Why does the bride always wear white?

A: Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

classicman · 06-30-2010, 07:32 AM

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

Gravdigr · 07-02-2010, 02:25 PM

.

GunMaster357 · 07-05-2010, 02:59 AM

Q: Why do men have assholes?

A: So they won't be total pricks.

GunMaster357 · 08-30-2010, 06:45 AM

Q: What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common?

A: They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

classicman · 08-30-2010, 08:17 AM

... did.

Rhianne · 08-30-2010, 08:57 AM

That was awful - but it made me laugh!

I told my daughter, she's in the shower now and I can still hear her giggling.

sullage · 08-30-2010, 09:04 AM

How are Michael Phelps and Hitler different?

Phelps can finish a race.

be-bop · 08-30-2010, 05:47 PM

There was a news report that
the flood in Pakistan was the act of a
Suicide Plumber

06-22-2010, 02:50 AM	#407
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	If it is true that you are what you eat then I am.... .... a pussy. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

06-22-2010, 03:56 AM	#408
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: One... If you throw it hard enough __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

06-24-2010, 04:11 AM	#409
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	Pick the odd one out: a woman, a washing machine, a toaster and the garden hose? The toaster, the rest leak when they're fucked. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

06-30-2010, 03:10 AM	#412
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	Q: Why does the bride always wear white? A: Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

06-30-2010, 07:32 AM	#413
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

06-22-2010, 02:24 AM	#406
crazybuoy Banned Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 8	The top ten signs that someone is using your e-mail account 10. "Honey, why is an 18-wheeler from Amazon.com backing into our driveway?" 9. One Secret Service agent is sitting on your head while another is slapping cuffs on you. 8. Apparently, your flame war with DonCorleone@mafia.com is about to turn ugly. 7. When you log on, your computer says "You've got lawsuits!" 6. You're suddenly getting more Spam than the Hormel outlet store. 5. Sotheby's says the Rembrandt is yours and that you now owe them $71,000,000 and change. 4. You now have 130,000 ClubTop5 subscriptions and the list moderator is on the cover of Business Week. 3. Terse "Knock it off, Oedipus" e-mail from your Mom. 2. Your wife calls you at the office to report that Pogdi, your Pakistani mail-order bride, has arrived. 1. "The resistance welcomes your involvement. Your contact information has been forwarded to a local insurgent who will bring supplies and reinforcements to you immediately."

06-28-2010, 01:33 PM	#410
trailerman83 Guest Posts: n/a	how did canada get its name? You take a C eh, and an N eh, and you take a D eh

06-28-2010, 01:37 PM	#411
trailerman83 Guest Posts: n/a	view from a black man in a well

07-02-2010, 02:25 PM	#414
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	. Attached Images __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

07-05-2010, 02:59 AM	#415
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	Q: Why do men have assholes? A: So they won't be total pricks. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

08-30-2010, 06:45 AM	#416
GunMaster357 Professor Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Brest (FRANCE) Posts: 1,837	Q: What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common? A: They both used their brains to paint the ceiling. __________________ "War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Ambrose Bierce

08-30-2010, 08:17 AM	#417
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	... did. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

08-30-2010, 08:57 AM	#418
Rhianne Nearly done. Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Teetering on the edge. Posts: 1,134	That was awful - but it made me laugh! I told my daughter, she's in the shower now and I can still hear her giggling.

08-30-2010, 09:04 AM	#419
sullage Master Locutor Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Iowa Posts: 155	How are Michael Phelps and Hitler different? Phelps can finish a race.

08-30-2010, 05:47 PM	#420
be-bop Operations Operative Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: scotland/uk Posts: 664	There was a news report that the flood in Pakistan was the act of a Suicide Plumber

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