Divorce - Page 3

bluecuracao · 08-01-2007, 08:49 PM

Well, Deuce, just keep your head and move forward. You can file your own papers, if need be (find your own lawyer). Don't be intimidated by all the lawyer-speak you just got.

BigV · 08-01-2007, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

I"m sorry I can't help you with legal advice mate. Do you have a lawyer? Have you spoken to him/her yet? If not, that'd be the first call I'd be making if I were you.

From what I know, if you stay there in violation of a restraining order, even a temporary one, you could end up in the slammer.

Oh yes.

The BOLD ALL CAPS HEADLINES talk about knowingly violating a restraining order as a CRIMINAL OFFENSE. Yikes.

Aliantha · 08-01-2007, 08:54 PM

Isn't that what happens over there Big? I know it's what happens here.

yesman065 · 08-01-2007, 08:58 PM

I just went through a messy divorce and if there is anything I can do to help you - please pm me.

yesman065 · 08-01-2007, 09:00 PM

There can be an appeal to a restraining order - she has to have grounds and they must be proven first.

Aliantha · 08-01-2007, 09:04 PM

Fair enough. That's why I wondered if he'd spoken to his lawyer yet. So that he could avoid any unfavourable events.

I did have a disclaimer...

Clodfobble · 08-01-2007, 09:38 PM

I'm sorry to hear that, Deuce. Like others have said, definitely talk to a lawyer before moving out. Moving out is a huge step towards getting shafted, in both the property division as well as the custody arrangement. If you "willingly" "leave" your son "with her" now, you will have a harder time being treated as an equal parent in the custody arrangements. Keep on keepin' on, and don't hesitate to come here to vent.

yesman065 · 08-01-2007, 11:16 PM

Deuce - you are NOT ALONE - there are many here who have gone through what you are now dealing with. I am just one of at least several that I know of. It is much harder to deal with because we are men and the system was specifically designed to protect and favor women. It sux, but its true. Nevertheless, you can overcome it. You have the strength within you - I know it - it is a fact.
There are many here who care and will offer their valuable insight and experience to you -
DO NOT leave this tool in the box either - USE IT.

Deuce · 08-02-2007, 12:21 AM

*sigh*

going home now.

See you all tomorrow.

Aliantha · 08-02-2007, 03:24 AM

We'll be looking forward to it Deuce. Take it easy matey.

Deuce · 08-02-2007, 01:11 PM

I have had a most unhappy education in the past 16 hours.

Lawyers are expensive, thousands of dollars. But, hey, if you're having a heart attack, do you ask for competitive quotes from three or more surgeons? Do you take the low bid? At the same time, money counts. Money is stored choices and I have a limited store. I must spend them wisely. I am willing to spend it/them, as long as I'm getting closer to my goal.

Restraining orders have nothing to do with the concept of innocent until proven guilty. They are immediately effective, with the force of law, and with the penalty of jail. Talk about reducing my choices/options. Jail is *bad*, m'kay? Good. Moving on.

This fella, Pro Se, I may hire him too, with $$$/hour consults as needed. Or, maybe I won't be stupid. Too early to tell. Right now, I'm not feeling so smart.

Everybody says it will be ok in the end, that it's all for the better, etc, etc. :hurl: Right or otherwise, I'm not digging that medicine. And I'm as pollyanna as they come.

I am not in a position of strength.

I have some friends. I am able to act. That's not nothing.

I am being slandered. I have not been able to make the transition from husband and wife to husband and adversary. I see it. I've said it. But it's like a phonetic parroting of some sentence in a foreign language. I don't *know* it. I fear I will before long, perhaps too late. I am constrained by ... grief love fear ignorance habit from acting Con Brio on my own behalf. Reeeeaaaaallly need to get cracking on that one.

My boss is a jewel. Only her lawyer recommendation answered the phone. Has given me a pass from my work duties to take care of business. And she has shown me great compassion. That is a great blessing.

My daughter... she has been calm and wise and supportive and present. Words fail me, utterly, to convey my gratitude, my pride, and my love for her. Thank God she says she understands, despite my inability to articulate the depth and breadth of my feelings.

I have y'all to listen (shut up, I can pretend you're listening if I want to) to me clarify my thoughts. I have always had success in processing complex information by repeating it, by telling it, and you're all a captive audience. *Perfect*. Seriously, I also know that there are some of you that genuinely care. And that gets me crying again. I thank you, my friends. Thank you very much.

Uisge Beatha · 08-02-2007, 01:24 PM

We're always here for you, Deuce. Nobody should have to face what you do, but I hope it does ease your troubles just a little to know we think about you and want the best for you. Hold on and let help come from any source available.

Deuce · 08-02-2007, 01:26 PM

How does one find an attorney? The local lawyer referral line hung up on me!

Gremlins? I'll try again....

Deuce · 08-02-2007, 01:27 PM

Twice in a row now. wtf.

Cicero · 08-02-2007, 03:12 PM

Noo...call everyone in the phone book until you get the right price. Leave messages they all screen their calls. Or you will butt up against their receptionist and nothing will put you in a worse mood. Leave messages.
I don't know ya but I am sad for you, especially if it was you who went to jail.

Insult on top of injury.

08-01-2007, 08:54 PM	#33
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Isn't that what happens over there Big? I know it's what happens here. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-01-2007, 09:04 PM	#36
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Fair enough. That's why I wondered if he'd spoken to his lawyer yet. So that he could avoid any unfavourable events. I did have a disclaimer... __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-02-2007, 03:24 AM	#40
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	We'll be looking forward to it Deuce. Take it easy matey. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-01-2007, 08:49 PM	#31
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	Well, Deuce, just keep your head and move forward. You can file your own papers, if need be (find your own lawyer). Don't be intimidated by all the lawyer-speak you just got.

08-01-2007, 08:58 PM	#34
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	I just went through a messy divorce and if there is anything I can do to help you - please pm me.

08-01-2007, 09:00 PM	#35
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	There can be an appeal to a restraining order - she has to have grounds and they must be proven first.

08-01-2007, 09:38 PM	#37
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I'm sorry to hear that, Deuce. Like others have said, definitely talk to a lawyer before moving out. Moving out is a huge step towards getting shafted, in both the property division as well as the custody arrangement. If you "willingly" "leave" your son "with her" now, you will have a harder time being treated as an equal parent in the custody arrangements. Keep on keepin' on, and don't hesitate to come here to vent.

08-01-2007, 11:16 PM	#38
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Deuce - you are NOT ALONE - there are many here who have gone through what you are now dealing with. I am just one of at least several that I know of. It is much harder to deal with because we are men and the system was specifically designed to protect and favor women. It sux, but its true. Nevertheless, you can overcome it. You have the strength within you - I know it - it is a fact. There are many here who care and will offer their valuable insight and experience to you - DO NOT leave this tool in the box either - USE IT.

08-02-2007, 12:21 AM	#39
Deuce Pesky Pugalist [sp] Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 191	sigh going home now. See you all tomorrow.

08-02-2007, 01:11 PM	#41
Deuce Pesky Pugalist [sp] Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 191	I have had a most unhappy education in the past 16 hours. Lawyers are expensive, thousands of dollars. But, hey, if you're having a heart attack, do you ask for competitive quotes from three or more surgeons? Do you take the low bid? At the same time, money counts. Money is stored choices and I have a limited store. I must spend them wisely. I am willing to spend it/them, as long as I'm getting closer to my goal. Restraining orders have nothing to do with the concept of innocent until proven guilty. They are immediately effective, with the force of law, and with the penalty of jail. Talk about reducing my choices/options. Jail is bad, m'kay? Good. Moving on. This fella, Pro Se, I may hire him too, with $$$/hour consults as needed. Or, maybe I won't be stupid. Too early to tell. Right now, I'm not feeling so smart. Everybody says it will be ok in the end, that it's all for the better, etc, etc. :hurl: Right or otherwise, I'm not digging that medicine. And I'm as pollyanna as they come. I am not in a position of strength. I have some friends. I am able to act. That's not nothing. I am being slandered. I have not been able to make the transition from husband and wife to husband and adversary. I see it. I've said it. But it's like a phonetic parroting of some sentence in a foreign language. I don't know it. I fear I will before long, perhaps too late. I am constrained by ... grief love fear ignorance habit from acting Con Brio on my own behalf. Reeeeaaaaallly need to get cracking on that one. My boss is a jewel. Only her lawyer recommendation answered the phone. Has given me a pass from my work duties to take care of business. And she has shown me great compassion. That is a great blessing. My daughter... she has been calm and wise and supportive and present. Words fail me, utterly, to convey my gratitude, my pride, and my love for her. Thank God she says she understands, despite my inability to articulate the depth and breadth of my feelings. I have y'all to listen (shut up, I can pretend you're listening if I want to) to me clarify my thoughts. I have always had success in processing complex information by repeating it, by telling it, and you're all a captive audience. Perfect. Seriously, I also know that there are some of you that genuinely care. And that gets me crying again. I thank you, my friends. Thank you very much.

08-02-2007, 01:24 PM	#42
Uisge Beatha Lecturer Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 945	We're always here for you, Deuce. Nobody should have to face what you do, but I hope it does ease your troubles just a little to know we think about you and want the best for you. Hold on and let help come from any source available.

08-02-2007, 01:26 PM	#43
Deuce Pesky Pugalist [sp] Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 191	How does one find an attorney? The local lawyer referral line hung up on me! Gremlins? I'll try again....

08-02-2007, 01:27 PM	#44
Deuce Pesky Pugalist [sp] Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 191	Twice in a row now. wtf.

08-02-2007, 03:12 PM	#45
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Noo...call everyone in the phone book until you get the right price. Leave messages they all screen their calls. Or you will butt up against their receptionist and nothing will put you in a worse mood. Leave messages. I don't know ya but I am sad for you, especially if it was you who went to jail. Insult on top of injury.

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